Extended breastfeeders, did you always know you'd feed that long?

[naturelover]

The reason I ask is that I always thought I'd feed for a year, but now that DD is almost a year old, I don't want to stop, and it feels natural to continue. Eighteen months seems like a good time to stop at the moment, but perhaps by then I'll feel differently as well.

I'm worried (I know I shouldn't be) about people's reactions (family and friends - I don't care what complete strangers think) and I wonder how best to explain my reasons for continuing beyond a year. I realise I don't have to justify myself to anyone.

DH fully supports however long I breastfeed, and DD is clearly thriving on it. She's down to 4 feeds a day, sleeps through (in her own room) and I don't feel in any way compromised by breastfeeding, it's just a nice thing for us both to do.

Beyond a year, do you breastfeed in public? Because in some ways I'd like to only feed morning and bedtime, at home, within the next few months. Is this realistic? I'd like to breastfeed on my terms, IYSWIM. I don't want to get to the stage of a toddler pulling up my top in public, or having a tantrum if she can't feed when we're out and about.

Sorry for the ramble, I suppose I'm partly trying to collect my own thoughts, and it helps to write them down!

I thought I'd feed for a year and naively assumed that then I would just offer him/her other drinks and the baby would happily accept these!

Ha ha ha - little did I know that 1 year on my DS would be shouting "bops" (his word for boobs) at the top of his lungs and scrabbling at my top every opportunity, refusing to go down for me without a feed, still feeding 2-3 times at night, and that our most lovely, cuddly times would be bfing.

DS is now 2 and a bit, and I am pg, and we are still feeding (although less than before I got pg, as it's a bit painful for me now). Don't think either of us are in a hurry to stop, but we'll see.

I didn't bf in public after about a year except in special circs (usually if DS had hurt himself and was inconsolable - there's no quicker remedy that I know of!). I wasn't ashamed but it didn't work very well and DS got silly about it - hoiking out other boob and laughing and poking me etc - it was less about feeding and more about playing with mummy's tits in public which I wasn't wild about.

Family and friends - some know, most assumed I stopped ages ago. I have taken a "this is not up for discussion" approach - I don't invite comment, anyone who does comment I just do the equivalent of "interesting" and then carry on regardless. I think most people now realise that I'm not interested in their opinion.

The only person who has expressed any overt criticism was the midwife who conducted my booking in appointment for my new pregnancy. Tcha.

midnight express - DS also spends a lot of time rummaging around in my top, sucking his thumb. I think it's fairly endearing, altho I do remove his hand if he manages to tweak my nips (too sore atm!)

I had a health visitor telling she that she thought it was disgusting to breastfed a child who was old enough to walk and talk. My son was 24 months at the time and had development problems.

I just said to her, well then there no problem my son isn't walking or talking.

Like a lot of people here, I'd initially said I'd feed dd for 6 months, then a year... By the time we were getting close to a year, I'd learnt about some of the benefits of feeding beyond that time and, since dd obviously wanted to continue, that's what we've done. She's 19 months now, and I don't really have an end date in mind at the moment - tbh, I think it's far easier to keep on feeding than it would be to wean.

I rarely feed in public now, and haven't done for the last few months. I would if she really needed it - like when we were on holiday last month and I think she was a bit unsure of the new surroundings - but in general she's distracted when we're out anyway, and I have water and snacks to hand too.

Do I count at 15months?
Before birth I think I thought I'd stop at 6 months if I was lucky to get that far.
After 6 months I thought about a year ish.
At a year the sky's the limit! Would love to let him self wean, but will see how it goes. Don't have any plans to stop before he's 2.

Stoped feeding DS a week or so ago - like RG I'm pg and it was getting too painful . We were down to one feed a day at that point. Didn't feed in public after a year, apart from feeding DS in hospital when he was on a drip (great cos it stopped him thrashing about).

Didn;t really think about when to stop but thought I would try for 6 months or a year and never got round to stopping!

DH not overly supportive tbh nut I just didn't discuss it. Have never discussed it with family friends as none of their business.

Like TYV, theonly negative comment I got was at my booking in appointment 'you'll want to stop that then'. I just glared and said nowt!

Oh and he's 21 mo.

ReallyTired- You should report that HV who said that to you. I can't believe some of the things HVs get away with !

I always just planned to bf - targetted 6 wks min, then 6 months then just kept going as it felt wrong to stop. dd is 2.4 and has had 3 feeds in the past month so think she has self weaned now. Also am 5 mo pg and think the taste changes?
I didn't aften feed in public after a year -18 months as she didn't often ask. Mainly if we were staying at friends' etc. before bed.
If anyone asked when we were stopping I'd say "I don't know, she hasn't told me yet" whilst looking at them with a bemused 'what business is it of yours?' look
Did get a very shocked look from MW when she asked me at booking in appt if I was planning to bf and did I bf my first. When I said yes, and I still am she just stared and said "REALLY??!!" I replied "of course, why would I not follow the WHO guidelines?" and she went red and moved on to the next question.
Sammy 81 - I went back to work when dd was 2 months and used to express once in the day and feed before work, after work & bedtime. After 6 months ish when weaning she had less milk and at about 10 months dropped the expressing. Few months later down to 2 feeds, then 1 - boobs just seems to adapt to the new supply demands each time. I honestly found it much easier than I had thought Even going away for a few days conference, just carried on when I got back.

My MW was fab about bf during pg, we talked about it at last appt (as DS of course had his hand in my cleavage ). She said she knew plenty of women who had fed through pg and some who had tandem fed when the new baby arrived. She said something like it was so much gentler to feed until the child wanted to stop. I felt normal for once!

On a slight more note, I was in the pub a couple of months ago with some v old friends and for some reason extended bf came up in conversation, the word 'bitty' came up and one of my friends said something like 'but DS isn't still doing that is he?'. I said what would be wrong if he was, but I think they all thought I was joking. I wish I'd stood up and been counted...

DD nearly 21 months now and 8 weeks pregnant, wondering how the MW will react that I am still BFing my DD at my booking in appointment. I do hope that DD self weans while pregnant as it is getting sore.

MIL thinks its disgusting I'm still BFing - if anything goes wrong with this pregnancy I'm sure she will blame the BFing. MIL only BFfor 6 weeks, which she hated, then on formula. I think her and my SILs think I am implying that their decision to formula feed was wrong.

I think I had a pretty good idea I'd continue for as long as ds wanted, as long as I felt comfortable with it

I did feed in public sometime, yes
ds would get very upset otherwise and it caused more of a scene to refuse than to quietly feed him
I did find it embarrassing sometimes but no-one ever said anything negative to my face, and I think on the whole it has got to be a good thing if we sometimes see people feeding older children in public as part of their everyday lives

Having had awful experiences with ds1 and dd with both of them ending up on formula by 4 weeks I just wanted to get past that point with ds2.

We're now 19mo in and he's showing no signs of self weaning. I'm just going with it at the moment, I don't have an end age in mind.

I still feed in public occasionally if I have too - if he's shattered or wound up it's easier and less attention drawing to nurse. I was at a party a few weeks ago, ds2 was up late so wanted to feed. I went off to the back of the room to nurse and one of my friends came over to see if I was okay. She looked a bit taken aback but didn't say anything more than 'I didn't realise you were still feeding him' and left me to it.

My mum, otoh, never misses an opportunity to drop hints about me stopping which drives me insane. I haven't directly challenged her so far but I will if she carries on.

sammyg. ds1 is nearly 8 now so had the max paid mat leave of 18 weeks. He was 4 months when i went back full time and the rest! continued feeding til he was 4! I expressed gallons but he was not interested in a bottle. After much reassurance from friends that he would make up when i was around, i didnt really worry that he hadnt fed all day!!! we did a bit of day night reversal. He fed like a guzzler when i arrived home, before bed, during the night and before I hopped off to work in the morning! It didnt sit easy with me for a wee while but when i rationalised that if he slept all night say maybe 9 or 10 hours then the whole thing equates out! Ds2- back to work at 8 months this time, expressed and left, didnt get too hung up when milk supply wasnt nearly as good just topped up the bottles with cool boiled water and again he fed when i was there. he self weaned jst before his second birthday. Have two healthy, happy wee boys.

I am the same as some others in that I headed for 6 weeks, 3 mths, 6, and then after that it was just easier to continue.

BF DS1 for a year although he had formula at the childminder's while I was at work (went back when he was 3.5 mths old).

Still BF DS2 who is 18 mths.

People have just started to be a bit taken aback although they usually don't guess what he's doing (oh - "is he sleeping?" - no he's feeding. )

Have no real plans about when to stop, thought he might have self-weaned by now, DS1 had but the way things are going we'll still be here at 2.

Not sure how I feel about later than that although I suppose if you'd asked me that 3 years ago I would have been shocked at bf an older baby.

someone wise wrote once that you don't start off bfing a toddler. They just change in to one a day at at time.
ds2 feeds early am, (before work), and after his bath. If I work late I pick him out of his cot when I get home and feed him then and he goes straight back to sleep. He doesn't care if I'm not around after his bath and he doesn't go to sleep feeding anyway. He's only 15 months, though so not very extended...
I will carry on for now: ds seems to like it and has only just decided to drink from a cup. There is going to be an issue with going to conferences in the next few months which may call a halt, though (world's worst at expressing!).

LOL! When I was pg with ds1, I went to an antenatal class. At that time in Ireland we got 14 weeks maternity leave. The MW running the class suggested that if we were going back to work we could bf till 8 weeks and then gradually wean to formula. I thought this is what I would do.
At 8 weeks, I didn't really want to stop and I thought I would continue right up until I went back to work. Then in a book I had about childcare, I read that "It is perfectly possible to work and breastfeed" and told me all about expressing. So I worked, fed and expressed for a year. Colleagues thought I was mad. I stopped at a year.
Also fed ds2 for a year but discovered MN when I had ds3 and as a result of chatting with all the "uncurtailed bfers" I decided I would let him self-wean. Which didn't work out as planned but I did feed him till he was 2.8

I had always said I would stop whenever teeth appeared; DS is now 8mo and has no teeth yet but I am dreading it because I want to carry on for at least a year (and he already bites me with his gums!). So will have to see how bad it is to know when I'm going to give up...

Teeth not really a problem. Most babies can be taught not to bite. My ds3 an exception to this but he was and exception to most rules!

My daughter is two and we still nurse in public sometimes, needs must.

When I started I made milestones and decided I'd be happy to make each one and set a new one when I got there. I didn't ever see myself still going after this long! Now I don't think about stopping, I'm pregnant again and if I can keep it up like this I'll have been breastfeeding for at least five years when the new one stops!

If it suits you forget everyone else! Carry on and just a gentle reminder that it is illegal to interfere with a nursing mother occasionally may help

WRT family: tell them you're just lazy! It's easy and you both like it so why bother stopping? She'll wean herself when she's ready.