i am having mixed feelings about feeding ds3

[BlueDragonfly]

I LOVE breastfeeding ds3. He is 5 months and this is the longest i have breastfed for. Its bloody hard though at times! He is starting to get distracted, pulls at my nipples and has gone back to 2 hourly feeds. I have decided to swap his bedtime feed (7/8 ish) to formula and on the one hand i am pleased but i am alos a bit sad.

Pleased because now when i go out, i don't have to have him with me. I am starting to feel suffocated by the children. ds3 is ALWAYS with me, night and day. He likes sleeping not only in my bed but curled up right into me which means that i don't get a break at night even.
Sad because i was really against giving him formula and i didn't manage to express.

Tonight is only the first night but already he has slept longer and my boobs are a bit sore (maybe i should express tonight and he can have that tomo?)

bdf.

it sounds to me like you are relieved to stop the night feed as you are tired and feeling suffocated. with three children i don't blame you!

you say you're sad as you were against giving him formula. well you've already fed him longer than your other dcs! such a cliche- but you've given him the best start. formula isn't poison, i was formula fed and i'm fine.

dont beat yourself up about one feed. we all do the best we can with bf, it depends on so many ouside factors. if you are finding it too hard, you're finding it too hard. end of. .

sounds like you've made a good decision for you and therefore the rest of the family.

Its not gonna do him any harm. I am still feeding my DD2 at 10months and sometimes want to quit but am too lazy now
a good night sleep works wonders.
Is he in your bed by choice? I cant stand having Jaz in my bed, i really dont get good deep sleep.

It's very liberating when you finally get that break. For some people giving a bottle of formula is what makes them keep going. Better a bottle of formula and BM the rest of the time than no BM at all because you are so fed up you've stopped.

if you're not in public then breast shells i always find release engorgement a bit, don't know if youve used them? you'll look a bit odd if you're out

Another option is to express and get your dh to do anight feed.
Whatever happens, you have done brilliantly. Well done!

sorry i didn't get back to this. RL taking over at the moment.

He is not in my bed by choice but by 4am its far easier to keep him in with me so i don't have to get out of bed again. He is the same size as his moses basket now so should really get him in his cot but thats in another room and further away so will have to wake up properly!

I ended up expressing as i didn't want to waste it and he had it tonight while i was at the hosp visiting my Gran. He took it fine and because i missed 2 feeds i expressed tonoight as well and we will use that 2mo. He has quite happily had 3 oz ebm and 3 oz forula tonight. I have nothing against formula as such, DS1 was completely bottlefed but i just feel i let him down a bit by not trying harder.