Any advice welcome

[turtle23]

Have been trying to get DS (18 weeks) onto bottles for weeks, am still BF at night and occasionally during the day. He had started taking up to 4 oz from a bottle and now all of a sudden he wont touch them. My milk had started to dwindle a bit...it's hot and he wants to nurse...milk not really there. Do I just keep going and hope it comes back? Make him wait and bottle feed? Argh. The guilt.

[littleducks]

ok you may hate this advice so you can ignore it, he is about 5 months isnt he (im sure he was older than my ds)

you havent started weaning yet? why dont you scrap the whole bbottles thing for a couple of weeks, give him time to forget he doesnt 'like' bottles the when you start weaning him introduce the bottles again so it seems like a different experience

as for the weight think, drink more, eat less if (like me) you are snacking to much and exercise, i lost tons in two weeks while eating sensible things and attending a post natal exercise class, it made me feel great. Unfortunately as it stops for school holidays i have back peddaled a bit.

Did you struggle to conceive ds? (again just ignore q if too personal) is that Why are you worried about no 2? Remember you are most fertile after a baby!

[turtle23]

He's 18 weeks...have tried that approach. Started weaning at 17 weeks exactly as he was v hungry. He wont let anything in his mouth at the mo. Have only managed to get the odd spoonful of goo in, but he will chew on big bit (BLW style) He has this funny little pulling his lower lip in and clamping face for anything other than the boob.
Am going to the gym 3 times a week and not eating a huge amount. Dont understand why it's stalled. I gained 4.5 stone and have lost 2.
Please dont think I'm shooting down your advice, just explaining.
Yes, we struggled to conceive first time round, and I'm not getting any younger (nearly 37).
I am sure if I had a good night's sleep I would see things much more clearly!

[Jackstini]

Try not to worry about fertility turtle - I have got pg 3 times whilst bfing and lots of other mners have too.
18 wks is a difficult time to stop and especially if it is hot. If you can manage a few more weeks until he is at weaning stage it will get much easier anyway.
Have you tried teething powders to take the edge off the pain so he feeds better?
Also don't forget bfing uses up calories - if you stop, that's an extra 2-300 a day you have to shift yourself, which won't help the weight thing.
Feeling your frustration turle but don't push yourself too hard, might be easier overall if you keep going for a few more weeks.

[Jackstini]

Sorry - crossed posts with you!

[littleducks]

He wont let anything in his mouth at all? That suggests teething to me, how long has this been going on?

And in the nicest possible way if you have been weaning a week perhaps leaving a little bit longer for him to become accustomed to it then retrying bottles, or perhaps a beaker, doidy cup or something liked that.

Just look back over how much he has changed since he was born, babies do change dramatically over a short time, so this really could (hopefully) be a non issue.

As you dont HAVE TO stop urgently to return to work or something, do you thing you would be prepared to set a date perhaps 1st oct, and just relax till then, taking the pressure of both of you. Then if this a tooth it should have changed by then (not promising it will have come through as dd was slow to teeth but hopefullly not so sore) and hopefully he should be taking more food and may be happier with bowls of food and cups of things.

It may souynd mad but dd wasnt that much older than your ds when she started to drink through a straw.

Well done on the two stone btw, are you doing classes or equipment at the gym? My instructor says something a bit complicated about heart rate curves that dramatically simplified means that when you reach a plateau (sp) you may need to vary your routine as your body has become accustomed to it.

Hope some of this msy help, and that i dont sound to preachy.

[littleducks]

sorry that was meant to read 'become a non issue in a few weeks' 2nd para, sounds a bit nasty as it stand

[VictorianSqualor]

I'd agree that it sounds like teething tbh.

I wouldn't bother with weaning yet either, certainly not if you "Have only managed to get the odd spoonful of goo in", it's because he isn't ready for food yet, most babies aren't ready at 17 weeks and many not until 26weeks.

[turtle23]

Should add that DS took bottle just fine til last wednesday. It is almost defo teeth, I think it is both canines...the most painful. Calpol, teething powders, etc all seem to do v little.
My other concern is that he isnt getting enough from me still. I had got down to only feeding in middle of night and even after 4 days of bf his nappies dont seem too wet.
As far as gym, I am doing 2 hrs cardio and 1.5 hours weights and a pilates class per week. Have changed routine a few times. I only really need to lose another stone. I was a stone underweight to begin with.
DS also not sleeping well unless I'm with him. Guessing teeth hurt, but he is such a cheerful chap is diff to remeber he may be in pain. sorry typos feeding and typing.

[VictorianSqualor]

turtle, I'm going through exactly the same (- the bottles) with DS2.
He was up 5(?) times last night (normally only once)and not just because he wanted feeding, will only sleep on me or when I'm cuddling him, has started clamping his jaw down on my nipple (OUCH!)
It's hard! The only thing that seems to make any difference is a cuddle!

[turtle23]

VS-sorry to hear you're up at night too. I am currently lying on my bed with sleeping baby attached to boob. He's not feeding but screams if i try and get up.

[VictorianSqualor]

DS is on my lap too, he was asleep but doesn't seem able to sleep for longer than about 30 minutes a time without waking.
It doesn't help that he has a cold too.

Thank goodness my other two are old enough not to need me too much!

[turtle23]

VS- just read your profile...you doing the doula thing too? Doing a course in october myself

[VictorianSqualor]

Yeah, I'm going to, think I might wait til I've had DC4 as we want to ttc from around December.

[turtle23]

I hate the HV. She just rang to see how it was going and told me that I am being ridiculous and not to "give in". I hate starting the week crying.

[VictorianSqualor]

Stupid woman.
Have you spoken to a local bfc about this? They are there to help stop breastfeeding too if that's what you want to do.

[turtle23]

BFC was very much begging me to BF, the HV is telling me to FF and wean ASAP and to stop torturing myself and baby. I am tired, emotional and torn. Just want to crawl away and hide.

[VictorianSqualor]

I can't believe she is telling you to wean when she must know it's inadvisable (well, I can, but it pisses me off that they say it).
I am more surprised at the BFC not being helpful tbh.
I wish I had the answers for you but if he won't take bottles I don't know what to suggest.

[Jackstini]

at your stupid hv Turtle. Just what you don't need - her giving you more stress. Don't answer her calls for now!
I really do think you are doing the right thing keeping on bf for now until an easier time to have a re-think.
Hope you get some chance to relax today in bed and the teeth are out soon.

[turtle23]

DH finally decided to help and has made my mind up for me. Am going for middle ground and trying to give him expressed milk. So far today he has had 4 oz since 8 am.
If he doesn't get a bit better at drinking v soon I know that I will crack in the night and let him sleep on the boob. I'm terrible.

[turtle23]

OMGOMGOMG...DS took 4 oz EBM then 30 mins later screamed for 4 more oz formula...oh please let this be the end of the strike...

[VictorianSqualor]

How is feeding your baby the breast if he asks for it terrible? You're not terrible at all.
I hope if bottles are the way you wan to go that he has finally decided to be happy with them

[turtle23]

VS-just meant my resolve is terrible.

[Jackstini]

Not when your resolve is doing the best for your baby Turtle - your heart is ruling and that's fine