Giving up b/f at 12 months

[JulieF]

It is ds's birthday on Friday and I am feeling
under pressure to stop breastfeeding

His sleeping has been awful recently. he has been up and feeding in the night, disturbing the rest of the house. I personally feel that something has to be done about this. I can't get up for work in the morning after being up in the early hours.

Last night nothing I did seemed to settle him. I tried to feed him, cuddle him, still he cried. Eventually I heard dh get up, he took ds off me and gave him 4oz of cows milk from a bottle. Dh smugly informed me this morning that after drinking it ds fell asleep in his arms until I had to wake him at 8am to leave for work.

He has an appointment with the paed as he is so small (under neath the centile charts)through as well and dh is insisting he comes along too. I have no idea whetherthe paed is b/f aware or not but going on what peoples usual experiences are I would say I again will be under pressure to stop.

What can I do about his sleeping? I think he is
hungry when he wakes as usually he feeds then settles back off but last night he wouldn't. Dh says this situation is unaceptible, we are all tired and I have to sort it quickly.

If you had asked me a week ago I would have said that we were not ready to stop yet, but I am wondering if dh is right and I am doing it more for me than ds.

Julie

perhaps it is just comfort, and the more stressed you and dh get about it, the more he will sens eit and the more comfort he will need... this is how it works with my dd...a sensitive soul. she goes through phases of needing more comfort... like at the moment, she wants to sleep in with me half way through the night. tiring, yes, natural, completely. It got easier for me when she could understand words like cuddle, which she now asks for instead of milk.

this wasn't the specific link I was looking for but it captures the essence of it breastfeeing

Does he nap during the day? When?

And does he suck his thumb? Thumbs are less hassle for comfort sucking than boobs ...

I also think it's not on for your husband being so unsupportive and unhelpful. Your DS might well settle easier without a feed if it was your husband going in. And if he's going to feed in the night, isn't boob easier than bottle?

If you're going in all flustered because of DH telling you giving boob is part of the problem, that isn't going to help DS's mood, as he'll pick up on it, and it won't help let-down, either!

Message withdrawn

This is definitely a sleep issue, not a feeding issue. You said it yourself, Julie: 'It was mostly flutter sucking, you know the sort you get at the end of a feed. He wanted the comfort.' It's going to be extremely difficult to get your ds to drop the nighttime feeding without your dh's help. I do think he needs to be the one to go in to help your ds re-settle. Otherwise, if you go in, your poor little ds will expect a feed and be even more upset when he doesn't get it.

It could take less than a week to change his habit, though he might wake more than once a night at first. And of course it could take longer. But, ultimately, if your ds can learn to sleep through or at least to resettle himself when he wakes, it will be better for all of you.

I'm certain that it's nothing to to with giving him breastmilk rather than fridge-milk. IIRC, cow's milk is richer in fat and in protein than breastmilk, so if you feel that e needs the extra calories, there is no reason that he can't have both types of feeds. Only not at night!