why do some people think its best for a baby to self wean off the breast?

[lovelysongbird]

is it a confidence thing? like if the baby chooses to stop when its will be ready and feel more secure?

I disagree that BF is more complex in humans. Actually, I kind of agree but I think maybe we've made it more complex and more of A Big Deal than it needs to be. This probably contributes to the appalling bf-ing rates actually. We could probably take a lesson or 2 from species who just get on with it TBH, less of this blathering on about self weaning, feeding in public and recommended length of time to feed.

The comparison with cats is not areally appropriate. I've got 2 kittens and there's no way I would have packed my babies off at 3 months old*. Age is not comparable between the 2 species - even that article linked to linked weaning to physical thing (acquisition of teeth) rather than a number.

*disclaimer: Actually I think I did try to give BabyDragon away on Mumsnet. IIRC I even took her to the HV to get her weighed so I could work out postage. But you know what I mean.

Oh, I don't actually give a damn what other people want to do about weaning BTW. I do what is right for the Dragons which may not be right for everyone. [shrug]

If all our lives consisted of were reproducing, bringing up, weaning and back to reproducing it would eb so much closer to mammals.

Having tried to cut down ds's breastfeeding (he is 2.9yo) which we both found stressful and difficult, I too would agree with the "why would I chose to stop before he's ready" line.

We managed to cut out day feeding for four weeks, and by the end of that time, his behaviour had deteriorated so badly that I decided to start day feeds again. As soon as I did that, I got my lovely, happy confident boy back.

I always try to choose the parenting options which are the easiest for us all as a family, so don't see the point in battling against something he obviously still needs so much.

I don't particularly care for comparisons to animals either!
I made a conciuos choice to stop bfeeding each of my children between 18-22 months.
They were only having night feeds by then, and to be honest I find that children sleep better once you stop ime.
I did stop 'cold turkey' when I felt ready to- and for me, that was key. My babies had plenty of goodness from my milk, and I felt that I no longer wanted to breastfeed.
They were restless for 2-3 nights and had extra kisses and cuddles and then it was fine.
I don't feel they have had any detrimental effects from this, and are happy, confident and secure children.

I agree with VS, in that we live more complicated lives than animals and therefore the choices we make for ourselves and our children are more complex. I find the comparisons between ourselves and other mammals interesting though, as we can see what would happen if our lives were simpler and we lived on instinct alone (not saying this is desirable or anything, just interesting!)

But that's my point. I don't think breastfeeding needs to be as complicated as we make it out to be. It isn't complicated and I think that's where we've gone wrong in "civilised" society. I bet lost amazon tribes don't worry themselves about when to stop breastfeeding.

actually in most cultures ("civilised" or not) there are very complex rituals surrounding bfing and weaning.

Many cultures stop bfing when the mother becomes pregnant - some believe that the milk will become bad for the toddler. Some cultures believe that colostrum is dangerous and has to be thrown away. Others have complex codes governing what a lactating mother can and can't do/eat etc.

We are humans - we ritualise and symbolise everything in a way that animals don't and invest it with meanings above and beyond physical logic - that's part of our natures and we can't ignore that.

"we ritualise and symbolise everything"

[shrug] I don't.

Anyhow, I'll leave you to it.

Haven't read the link yet, but it's open waiting for me.

There's no point comparing animals on a 1:1 basis because they have different life spans to us. We say that dogs have 7 years to our 1, so for a dog to nurse till 2 (for example)would be 104 days. The other thing you have to consider is that human babies are amongst the most immature babies at birth, only competition is from marsupials, so they do need their parents far more and for far longer than most other mammals.

I'll go and read the link, might post again when I've read it.

I enjoyed that link. Completely agree with those who have essentially said whatever works and is easiest...

That was my point too soupy, the reason things are complicated are because we make them that way.

If we were more like animals we wouldn't even consider weaning until our children where able to find their own food and feed themselves, which would very from child to child.

I just fed my 3... I had no constraints about when to finish so I just let them figure it out
All 3 weaned 15-16 mth period.
It just suited us I guess

To me it was a cae of harmonious transition. DD self- weaned at 14 months, at that stage she was eating a varied diet and drinking cow's milk, and nursing first thing in the morning and last thing at night. I was happy to carry on as long as she wanted.

It was relaxing for me- nice to have a cuddle in bed first thing in the morning, and easier to get her to sleep in the evening.
We got to the stage where one morning she refused the breast, and about a week later she did the same in the evening, and that was that. It was just very unfussy and trouble-free for her, and definitely more traumatic for me! ;)

I plan to do the same with 2nd due in about a month, I am just worried I won't have as much time to BF with a toddler running around...

i think going back to work must be something that differentiates us from other mammals/cultures? can't see any other circumstances where a bf infant and its mother would be separated 8hrs a day?

i hope to continue to feed dd evenings/mornings/weekends etc when i go back ft next month, but am aware my supply might not stand up to it