Has anyone ever got depressed from breast feeding?

[charlotte121]

I only managed to feed dd for one week when she was born. Bf was excruitiatingly painful to the point that I was screaming in pain. DD was latched on propperly as i had spent 4 days in hosp trying to perfect the BF technique but struggled with the pain the whole time. When I got home and didnt have the support of the nurses I found bf even harder and I started to resent dd for the pain I was experiancing and got quite depressed. In the end I decided to give up and bottle feed. My mood instantly lifted and I was a totally different person. Has anyone else ever experianced this?

I think poor support and BFing not going well can contribute to PND, but at a week after childbirth your hormones are scooting around all over the place anyway, and all sorts of things go round in your head, even if feeding is going well.

I'm sorry you didn't get things off to a good start and that you had crap support though as you may have felt differently had you been able to access good support.

I struggled with my DS for 5.5 weeks before starting to mix feed and then he was excl FF a week later. Like you because it had been so bad, i felt instantly better, but I was upset that I had to give up BFing and the depression caught up with me and bit me in the bum much later.

It is really unlikely that this was down bfing alone, or even depression per se. It's just really hard in the beginning. Can't remember the amount of feeds I sobbed through, and didn't want to hold her. But it got easier, as the whole parenting thing got easier. Like daisy said, there is just so much going on I don't think you can compare how you feel in the first week with anything!

Still bfing now at 13months and it is much easier.

You just do whatever you can to get through and if bottle feeding has worked for you that's great. It doesn't mean it would be the same next time round were you to have proper support. It's great that you gave it a try.

I did have really good support. The problem for me is I bruse easily... the nurses said my skin was fair or something. Im not kidding my nipples were bleeding. dd latched on wrong for 1 feed and that was it.... agony! I dont thing bf would have worked for me realisticly as ds is 11 months older than dd. Im a single mum and dd was feeding for an hour at a time which meant ds was just getting ignored. bottle feeding gives me chance to give them equal attention so in a way it was a good thing that it didnt work out.
My mum was worried about me when i was bf as I was hysterical and she thought i was going to do something stupid. I dont know if i would have done but I have never felt like that before and it was kind of scary.

do you mean has anyone gone through the pain?

Had blisters on nipples courtesy of DS. [where is ouch thing?]

charlotte, I've seen your other thread this evening too.

It sounds like you are doing the very best by your DCs in difficult circumstances and at the end of the day, as parents, that's all we can do

and as bumper has already said, you gave it a go which is great; every little bit of BM that you can get into your baby is a good thing. I was on my own with DS as well, and not having someone there to take the baby for ten mins whilst we both calmed down made the difficulties I had all the harder.

Try not to dwell on it too much; that's what I did, and i think it was constantly thinking that I had failed that contributed to my PND rather than me actually giving the formula.

All credit to you with two so young

lol thankyou. Im glad I did do it for as long as possible but dd is so good. she is sleeping through the night. Im very lucky!!!

charlotte, I think anyone would feel some change in mood if they changed from something that was painful and difficult (whatever it was) to something that was neither - even mothers who are desperate to breastfeed and who switch experience some 'lightening'. In addition, the first week after birth is a massive roller coaster for a lot of mums, and when you come off it, you can feel different

'Proper' PND would not normally be diagnosed as soon as this after the birth, but the more common 'baby blues' tends to go after the first week, too.

So it prob wasn't breastfeeding per se that caused depression in your case - but the timing, and the circumstances you were in, meant you were very low and upset at that time.

My guess, anyway

Yes love, you could be me with dd1. I lasted 6wks and was so down that I had no feelings for her. I changed to bottles, she slept better, no pain feeding and bingo I got back to myself but only after 8mths because it had got me so depressed. Part of it was the guilt of giving up as well.

The good thing is that if you have another you may be fine- I have been bf dd2 for 4mths now and have no plan to stop any time soon.

LOL at myself because I went against all advice if you want to bf. I gave 1 bottle of formula the second and 3rd night because dd2 was getting more and more angry that not enough milk was forthcoming. On the 4th day my supply was up because I expressed from the off and I haven't given any formula since.
Glad you feel better. You have to look after your mental and physical health.

Charlotte - this was me too, those early days can be hellish though!

With ds1 I didn't get past 10 days and it ripped my heart apart and I do think it was a large part with my PND at the time as I feel I had failed.

ds2 I was determined to see if I could get further as since ds1 I realised the support I had got from 'those in the know' was dire, really dire, and I got a lot of support beforehand from MN in relation to bf and c sections. Baby arrived and the support in the hospital and even CMWives was FANTASTIC, complete opposite of the time with ds1, however it was MNetters I swear who got me through 8 weeks of bfeeding until the time I could get to RL bf support group. However as sometimes can be the case, ds2 and I got through rounds of issues, eg mastitus, soreness, over supply, silly moo who tried to put me off in public, just to name a few things, then finally I found myself going around in circles with emotions and ended up seeing the Dr bawling my eyes out as I felt so crap. He listened and was convinced I didn't have PND (at 3 mths or so) but was over anxious about the bfeeding. I was begining to lose count of the times I bawled away in bf support group and had things like a good latch confirmed etc, but was still in pain, so before I made a decision I went back to exclusively bf for some weeks (had a spell of mixed feeding) and found myself still on the merry go round, so decided to go ff, but expressing until I stopped producing larger amounts of milk, which made a bottle of ebm a day for several weeks. Once this decision had been made I felt A LOT better, pangs of guilt yes, but a lot more sane and decided to concentrate on what I had achieved rather than think I was a complete failure or selfish for not continuing. I know in my heart I did what I could, (think I made the bf lady nervous though when I asked her about pnd medication because I noticed a change in response around me) Didn't need any medication in the end as the Dr had been very observant I think in my appt.

Whether it be a day, weeks, months I think there are some of us where it doesn't go quite to plan despite our best intentions and as already mentioned you gave it a go. I think when a decision is made, it can be about anything not just feeding then one always feels some relief and better about things.