My eldest daughter is 2.5. We were shown a video about bf in our parentcraft classes - ways to sit, get a good latch etc. The community midwife put it on and then sat back making comments such as 'stupid women - how does she think the baby is going to get latched on in that position' - we all sat there thinking what is she talking about (cos obviously as first time Mum's we didn't know what was right and what was wrong). There was very little discussion afterwards.
I wanted to breastfeed so in hospital dd was put on me straight after a very difficult birth but did not latch.
On the post natal ward dd slept for 27 hours before nurse came in and told me that if she hadn't woken in 3 hours we would wake her and 'get that baby latched on' - which we did.
Day after I was finding it painful - my dh wanders out into the corridor trying to find someone to come and help us - a midwife told him to go and buy some nipple shields - no offer of anyone coming to sit with me. I persevered without the shields.
Once home, dd fed every 4 hours .She'd feed for 40 minutes on one side, and at the next feed, 40 minutes on the other. Noone had ever told me to do it this way - or offer both sides - thats just what she did. She slept all the time in between - a dream baby and she was putting on weight good style. I on the otherhand was incredibly anxious, not eating or sleeping, dreading her waking for each feed. This was in part because it was painful, especially on one side - the midwives just told me to try different positions, but it hurt whichever position she was in. After 3 weeks she woke up and only fed for 5 minutes, and she'd usually feed for 40. I was completely thrown and worried about what to do at the next feed as se hadn't drained my breast like she usually did. I called the tel no of an NCT bf counsellor and it went to ansaphone. I was not in sufficient sane of mind to even consider getting on the net and looking for another helpline number - and had not been given one by the midwives. (The NCT lady called me back 3 days later ).
Next morning I woke up and was engorged. I called the hospital my midwives work from, in tears as I did not know what to do and was spoken to very harshly by one of the midwives. I then called my gp surgery where the community midwives are based. A few hours later one of them came out to me as I was crying and trying unsuccesfully to get a screaming dd latched on. She go some hot flannels, applied them and proceeded to squeeze my breast as I cried out in pain.
At that point I said I no longer wanted to bf. She warned me that if I stopped suddenly I would feel quite unwell and it was better to stop suddenly, but I felt it could not be worse than what I had already gone through.
She told me that my milk had to be absorped into my blood and it was like a poison to my blood to so would make me feel unwell. She told me I had to starve my body of fluid so it would take the fluid from my breasts more quickly. Dh was told I could have an ice cube every 4 hours - with pain killers. I was desperate for fluid and begged him to get water for me but he thought he was doing the right thing by following her advice. She also told me that hearing my dd cry would keep my milk coming, so my husband slept downstairs with her for the 3 nights I was up in bed with horrible flu symptoms. I had no marks on my breast so did not know it was mastitis, but she never advised me to go for antibiotics.
Needless to say after various so called health professionals giving me shit advice, I did not try breast feeding my ds (now 8 weeks). I just could not face risking those problems again. When I stopped I changed overnight into a happy Mum and for the first time felt love for dd.
You can imaine how I felt when I gave birth again 8 weeks ago when everyone goddamn person who came to see me in the hospital asked me if I was breastfeeding and then continued to tell me it was best for my baby (I believe since dd was born they now have targets to achieve). I did not hold back in telling them my story.
There is a real lack of good support and advice to prepare Mums for what can happen. I suppose hp's don't want to say anything negative in case it puts people off but this is just doing women a great diservice as a lot of us go into it with their eyes pretty much closed.
With my second child I used to sit in the ante natal waiting room at hospital surrounded by hundreds of posters of women smiling with a baby latched on. That is how a lot of first time expectant Mum's then expect it to be - but a lot of the time it isn't.
Good luck with your essay x