dd is 2 weeks old and i'm thinking of stopping bf...

[mads1]

Please understand that I am so grateful that I have the chance to bf and offer the best to my dd (esp when there are mums out there who can't - please don't take this the wrong way).

In brief - when dd2 was born she was in SCBU for 36 hours and I wasn't given a pump in the hospital, to express, for almost a whole day. In the mean time I had to consent to allow the nurses to feed her 2 bottles of formula cos she was starving and I couldn't not let her eat. Anyway, didn't get hardly anything out with pump - literally 2-3 drops. So when I finally had dd out of neo natal, I worked very hard getting milk established with formula to top her up. Milk came in on 4th day and was able to cut out formula.

Since we've been home I have been having problems with her latching on to breasts and a have had to give her either ebm or formulas every now and then. Majority of the time with a little perserverance, she will latch on and have a good feed.

My dilema however is that I really am not enjoying it this time round ( bf dd1 til she decided to stop at 9 months old). I hate it to the point where I am in tears cos I can't bear the stress of whether she will or not feed - especially in the nights when you just want to feed and then go back to sleep.

I have to admit that I am also feeling depressed and because I had pnd the first time I feel it might have started already and therefore this might be contributing to the fact that i have no desire to do this.

Is it easier bottle feeding? I do not want to express and feed! this would be a nightmare IMO.

I hope i've explained myself. I don't think i've even touched on the guilt I'm feeling for even thinking about this.

I don't know whether this is any help but I found it difficult until DD grew a bit and her mouth was big enough to latch on properly so it might just be a question of perservering for another couple of weeks or so when it might start getting easier - it did for me. DH and I gave DD formula for a couple of days before my milk came in (had c-section and didn't go into labour) and then worked on breastfeeding and shattering first few weeks really paid off and you don't have to worry about sterilising and how much to feed etc. as you would with FF. However, you breastfed your DD1 so know more than I do about this. Ultimately, babies need a happy mummy, I think, so follow your gut about what is right for you. 2 weeks is very young so make sure you are getting enough support to make the right decision for you and your baby. Best of luck.

Catzenobla - you have had a hard time and a really difficult start

Call one of the bf helplines and talk about your options, and speak to your HV (if you have a good one) about your possible PND.

Feeding when it's not going well is very, very stressful (whether it is bf or ff)...you need to talk to someone, and maybe have someone to watch you feed.

Hope you find the right support and help so you end up doing what you want to do.

Ahh! thank you. hadn't really thought about the fact that she will get bigger and therefore it might get easier for her. I too had a c-sec and can only feed doing the rugby ball position. Plus also I have a large stomach and breasts and so dd can't go in front of me! This will therefore make it difficult to bf in public - a problem I didn't have with dd1 as i wasn't out and about as much with her and i planned outings around feeds. Can't do that this time with dd1 aged 3 years in tow.

Just to say I found the first 3 weeks BF really hard.

Some babies seem to 'get it' straight away. Mine didn't, she seemed to have to learn what to do all over again with each and every feed.

By week 4, something clicked and it suddenly became much easier and not painful at all (until she got teeth!).

I think it surprises us that it is actually the babies who are individuals, it's not all about the mother. Like you said, it was fine last time.

TBH, one of my main reasons for perservering with BF is because I am secretly lazy. I thought the idea of all that sterilising, heating up milk, waiting for it to cool etc seemed like a big faff. I'd guess that since you've got a toddler it'd now be nice to be able to get up and go (once you've recovered of course) without needing to plan ahead.

But you know all this already. Whatever you do I'm sure will be the right decision for you and your family.

have you tried nipple shields? dd had difficulty latching on as my nipples funny shape ..seemed to do the trick.

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hope you get all the help you need here is the breast feeding helpline number 0844 412 4664 open untill 9pm if you dont catch it tonight give them a ring tomorrow from 8am
this is the breast feeding network,it would be worth it to perservere for the next few weeks if you can,you will find it so much easier when you get the right support good luck