Can anyone recommend a good book on mix feeding?

[mears]

Just wondered if there was a decent book out there for women who want to mix feed, with tips and advice on how to keep breastfeeding.

I particularly am looking for information out there for women who feel exclusive breastfeeding is not for them, but who want their babies to have some breastmilk.

For those of you who do not know me, I totally believe that exclusive breastfeeding is the ideal, however there are women out there who do not wish to exclusively feed but want to mix breast and formula.

Is there any decent advice around?

Sabire - I attended antenatal classes, a special breastfeeding workshop, had a homebirth and subsequent follow up visits by a fantastic team of midwives. Not once was ff ever mentioned - Breast is Best - was the message I received loud and clear and actually that was the one I wanted to hear because I never had any intention of doing anything else but bf. 2 weeks later when it all started to fall apart one of the reasons I was very reluctant to ask for help to turn back from mixed feeding was this overriding push in my area for bf and not wanting to be judged or patronised about having difficulties with it.
As a strategy to encourage more women to either breastfeed in the firstplace and/or to continue doing so for longer you could do worse than be realistic about the statistics as they surely speak for themselves. Instead of going all guns blazing and trying to get everyone to breastfeed exclusively for 6 months a more practical approach might be to educate mothers about mixed feeding, stressing of course that it isn't a beneficial as exc. bf, but better than just formula beacause I would suspect that at the moment the majority of women who mixed feed don't do it for very long, not just because their milk supply dwindles (I personally didn't have any issues with this), but because as HolidaysQueen says they are made to feel failures for giving formula at all so ultimately think 'what's the point, I might as well just give up all together'. By there being more acknowledged acceptance of mixed feeding I think what would start to happen over time is a positive shift. More women would stick with breastfeeding for longer, more women would try it knowing they don't have to do it exclusively for 6 months and gradually we would see it becoming normalised, which in my view is the first stage in building a better breastfeeding culture in this country and hence getting one step closer to encouraging people to exclusively bf. You can of course continue the 'all or nothing' crusade, but given current stats it doesn't seem to be working that well.

Where is this 'all or nothing crusade'?

Where are the 'guns blazing' trying to 'persuade' women to breastfeed?

The health information is unequivocal - the best health outcomes are seen in babies who are breastfed excl for 6 mths. This is not especially an exhortation for individual women but a statement of fact that government, employers, healthcare workers and the rest of society need to take on board to enable women to do this if they want to.

I am bit tired of being told that breastfeeding support makes women who don't fully breastfeed 'feel like failures'. No one can 'make' you feel anything - why not name the feeling you experience as 'disappointment I was not able to continue to do what I planned to do' instead of castigating yourself, and breastfeeding supporters, for doing something I promise you they are not doing?

When I do an antenatal class, I mention formula, and I explain the known effect it has on breastfeeding and on infant health. I am certainly not going to go into detail of when and how to use formula in order to mix feed - few people will remember the detail (especially not at 11 pm with a crying baby) and all they need to know at that point is that bottles of formula are often recommended inappropriately, to be aware that there is always help available with bf, and to call me about it and we can talk, if they want to. No, not at 11 pm, especially.....

I also resent the idea that breastfeeding support in the UK is somehow not realistic about the stats - people working in breastfeeding support know full well what the figures are, and understand it is a challenge for many women to bf fully...that's why they are doing that job!

"As a strategy to encourage more women to either breastfeed in the firstplace and/or to continue doing so for longer you could do worse than be realistic about the statistics as they surely speak for themselves."

Yes they do speak for themselves - but what they're saying to me is that women who have chosen to breastfeed are ending up mixed feeding because they're not getting appropriate help to overcome common breastfeeding problems. Why are they not getting appropriate help? Because of poor training of staff BUT ALSO BECAUSE WOMEN THEMSELVES DON'T SEEK OUT HELP, EVEN WHEN THEY KNOW HOW TO ACCESS IT.

Honestly - that's the message we should be pushing: if breastfeeding is a struggle then the very first thing a mum needs to do is get HELP, not 'give a bottle'.

"they are made to feel failures for giving formula at all"

By whom? And how?

I know plenty of breastfeeding counsellors and I have never known one to judge a woman for using formula or for wanting to mixed feed, and I have never known one to push a woman into exclusive breastfeeding when it was not what the woman wanted to do. It makes me sad and not a little bit cross when I hear people making comments like: "and not wanting to be judged or patronised about having difficulties with it", as this does not reflect what I know of the way breastfeeding counsellors work with women.

"By there being more acknowledged acceptance of mixed feeding I think what would start to happen over time is a positive shift. More women would stick with breastfeeding for longer, more women would try it knowing they don't have to do it exclusively for 6 months and gradually we would see it becoming normalised"

No you wouldn't - you'd see more and more women trying to breastfeed and failing with it, and becoming bitter, because formula use so often damages breastfeeding. The message women need to hear is this: if you want to breastfeed for more than a few weeks then you need to avoid using formula until breastfeeding is well established. If you have problems breastfeeding in the first few weeks you need to get expert help. And if by 'acceptance of mixed feeding' you mean that health professionals should stop informing women of the disadvantages of using formula when you're breastfeeding - well, we've been there in the past, and it was a total disaster in breastfeeding terms. Still is.

"more women would try it knowing they don't have to do it exclusively for 6 months"

Who on earth tells women they 'have' to breastfeed exclusively for six months? Women are told that six months exclusive breastfeeding is best for babies' health, they are not told what they 'ought' to do.

I agree with Sabire and Tiktok. Mixed feeding is already promoted by healthcare professionals. I didn't experience any problems with breastfeeding, apart from my own lack of knowledge and lack of confidence in the process (worried about hungry baby, growth spurts etc). I was told by hosptial to give a bottle ('top up') and by my midwife to start introducing a bottle at 6 weeks to help sleep (this 'would not affect my supply'). Then told by my Dr to 'top up' if I was worried about my supply (dur..wrong answer and she was the baby Dr).
Is it any wonder that you are then treated as a wonder of the western world for exclusively breastfeeding at 6 months?
Risks of introducing formula not only never mentioned but postively pooh-poohed on each occasion.
Exclusive breastfeeding is not an impossible dream, but if it treated as such, then that will have an impact on mothers' feelings about breastfeeding.

I guess the problem is that if you end up feeling you need to mixed feed as the only way to continue some bf, then the advice from HVs is not really geared towards helping you preserve breastfeeding (they don't have the time or the training even if they are well-meaning) and they just say "yes, sure, introduce a bottle if you wish" with no help on the best way to do that or the downsides to breastfeeding and HVs really are the main/only way that most women access breastfeeding information. I know about the voluntary orgs mainly because I joined NCT and am on MN but most women don't and aren't. The other way women mainly access info is books like the baby whispere and gina ford, and those just do not go into enough depth about the practicalities of doing it and just advise you it is possible (rather like the HVs).

BFCs on the other hand are primarily focused on helping women keep breastfeeding. That is absolutely their role and I am very grateful for the advice I have had on here (from tiktok and others) and in RL. But because they are concerned with not negatively impacting breastfeeding (that's their role after all) some of the advice on how to mixed feed can seem harder to achieve than actually just breastfeeding e.g. pumping if you miss a feed (so why not just feed?), cup feeding rather than bottle feeding. It's sound advice, but many women like me who choose mixed feeding are doing it because they need something that makes life slightly easier so when given this advice they feel it is even more impossible than excl breastfeeding. So we end up having to try and work out ourselves how to do it and then it's no surprise that lots of babies end up fully formula fed because the mums didn't really know how to do it to minimise the risk of going to full ff while still making life just that bit easier for themselves.

I don't blame BFCs for this - it's not your role to make mixed feeding easier if it truly can have a negative impact on breastfeeding - but you guys are the only people we can turn to (we aren't going to call a formula helpline for expert advice after all, and HVs don't really have the knowledge or time, and books never go into enough detail). So we probably end up blaming you for not making it easy for us, because we're at a stage where we just need someone to help us make it slightly easier and some of the advice you give (because it's the best way to preserve breastfeeding) does not make it easier. So you can end up feeling really alone at a time when you're already feeling like you're failing.

I don't know what the answer is. I think that is where mears was coming from in the OP. It would be great if there would be some clear advice on how best to mixed feed if excl bf has failed (i.e. after all efforts have been made to continue) - clearly it would have to provide all the appropriate caveats about how it can impact supply etc. But if there could be some advice on which is the best feed to replace, how to watch for signs of it not working etc. then that might make people like me feel more comfortable with it and not have to just blindly make it up as we go along and hope for the best. Maybe it's impossible to come up with such advice, but I do know people who have mixed fed for up to a year without the extra pumping etc. so it can be done. Just not sure how you translate that into solid advice or how you position it so that it doesn't impact on the main aim which should be to help as many people to excl bf as possible and also doesn't imply that there are no risks to breastfeeding (which is what HVs tend to imply unfortunately). And I'm not sure whose role it would be to write that sort of advice - clearly difficult for vol orgs to do it as it could go counter to trying to up the numbers of women who are excl bf.

I guess I just feel frustrated that there isn't advice on how to mixed feed that accepts that people are choosing it because they need something that makes their life a bit easier. It really does feel sometimes like it would be easier for me to switch to fully formula than to proceed as I am, and surely you can agree that that isn't right.

I hope that doesn't sound like I'm getting at you guys who are BFCs. I do think you are fabulous , but I do feel there is a gap in the advice that is available and I'm not sure who is best placed to provide it.

Sorry. I'm really not good at modifying my posts to be short and sweet

Hoidays, thanks for the post and the detail

You are misunderstanding the role of the bfc. It is not to increase the nos. of women who excl breastfeed, and I am sure I speak for all the vol orgs. We are more 'mother centred' than that! Increasing the no. of women who excl is a laudable public health aim but when it comes down to working direct with women, that aspect is not to the fore.

You speak as if we are somehow intending to make mixed feeding difficult so it will put women off from doing it! Not so. We share information, and the information is that expressing when you give a ff does protect the milk supply - we 're not making it up so mothers feel it's easier to just bf

NCT has factsheets on using formula, and any bfc will be able to explain how to watch for the impact on bf.

But really, as you say, this info needs to come from HVs. There are thousands of them, and only a few 100 breastfeeding counsellors.

Often, I speak to women who explain they are ok about not continuing to breastfeed for a long time, and they accept that mixed feeding may shorten their bf time...and they want to discuss the options available, to have whatever breastfeeding experience is available without doing the 'expressing while baby has a formula feed' thing. Any bfc understands that women may have different priorities to excl bf, and that expressing is far from convenient or always effective, and it can dominate your life and not everyone wants it to!

I am glad you are not blaming us because the fact that women are under-informed about any of this is certainly nothing to do with us!!

What Mears explained was exactly how i found my experience of trying to Bf then doing mixed and then doing ff when (even tho i was expressing the supply dwindled) later. Im still traumatised about it all now. 4 years later! Bleeding nipples, one baby not gaining any weight etc. I was made to feel guilty about failure to bf. I was understandably more concerned about babys lack of weight gain and switched to bottle feeding expressed milk & formula. I think more info around mixed feeding would be helpful. I might then have continued to mix and then tried bf again when there was less pressure.

Sorry but just read on to page 2 and felt had to comment. How about this for an 'all or nothing' crusade. Im in hospital after having them by CS. I had stated on my record that i wanted to try to bf. Day 4, Im trying to discharge myself to get home for some rest and some support. Im crying coz I know dts1 (smallest baby) hadnt eaten anything in hours, (had bfc in for hours, wouldnt latch on, fall asleep etc, staff are trying to feed him with a teaspoon so as not to interfere with his bf) and was by this point not even crying, too listless. Im saying this to the midwife (the one who runs the twins ante natal), I say right 'this is serious, i want to give him a bottle' she says 'NO'. Come over to the bed grabs my boob and tries to get him to latch, which he does for about 2 mins then falls asleep. By the time I get him home he is losing weight (new set of midwives) insist on my taking him back to see pedi. I know very well the reason is hes underfed, a problem which the hospital midwives created!

mumoftwinz - it's a major, major challenge to bf twins, especially if there are weight gain issues ('cos twins are not usually big and beefy to start with....).

Who made you feel guilty and how? What did they say? Sometimes, people saying what a great thing it is to bf and to bf twins can spark off feelings - they are not intending to make you feel guilty, of course. You can decide how to feel - no one can make you feel things. Guilt is what we feel inside when we are doing something we know is wrong - it's a self-aquired, self-generated feeling. Obviously, there was no reason for you to aquire or generate it so where did it come from?

X-posted and just seen your other post.

No midwife should do any breast-grabbing or make you feel uncomfortable or pressured. You would have been justified in writing in to complain.

I don't understand how that made you feel guilty though...

I think in hindsight I should have complained to the hospital. But I had twins to look after with no help....so I was a bit busy!

I can understand you were busy

But I am genuinely interested in why you say you were 'made' to feel guilty. How? Most people accept that feeding twins is not the easiest thing to do!

Hello am back and feeling much less emotional (think I may of had slight pmt at last thread!) and have a question for tiktok! I was always under the impression that the womens body made as much milk as was demanded of it, therefore if you were only bf twice a day but they were still fairly good feeds your body would adjust and produce that amount of milk, is this not the case? Because the advice on mixed feeding seems to be to avoid giving formula because you will reduce your overall production of milk. Im my own experience this isn't what happened and my body did always produce the amount of milk that I was asking of it whether that be 2 feeds a day or 6 feeds a day (obviously I am not talking one day 2 feeds and the next 6, but was able to do that gradually over time) and again when I went back to work when dd was 7 months cut down to just the morning and evening feed which was never a problem either. I do agree that in principle it is better to establish bf before trying to mix feed as some babies do find it more confusing. And sadly from all the above stories it still seems that there is still a long way to go in supporting and educating women in how best to feed their baby in a way that is acceptable and comfortable for them.

I think that some women can happily breastfeed twice a day because their supply doesn't need much stimulation, however other women would have difficulty in maintaining 2 feeds a day when it is early on in their breastfeeding career. Different for a woman who is weaning an older baby - that supply is well and truly established and can cope with reduced feeds for months.

There has been good discussion here in this thread.

I think that there does need to be more support for women who do both, without negating the fact that exclusive feeding is the best option. Some women just can't do it, and more often than not, these women switch to formula feeding completely instead of mixing.

I think my sister is doing really well because many people have commented that they don't understand why she doesn't just bottle feed. That it is a hassle.

She feels proud that her babies are getting breastmilk. She is breastfeeding.

girliefriend, mears is right - for the majority of mothers, feeding twice a day is nowhere near enough to build up and maintain a supply. Women can maintain it if their supply is well and truly established - usually many months in, and actually based on my experience as a breastfeeding counsellor, I would say it's about a year in before you can cut back to as few feeds as that (would you agree, mears?). Individual experience is variable though.

In addition, older babies on a variety of solids do not need the volume of milk a four month old needs in order to avoid being hungry.

Often a baby whose mum has intro'd formula in order to mix feed finds she trots along ok for a little while, and then the baby starts fighting and fussing at the breast, clearly preferring the bottle. The flow of milk is not sufficient to keep him happy,and while milk may still be present, his mum is not producing enough volume any more. (This can sometimes be turned around, if she starts freq. bf again).

That is interesting as wasn't what happened in my experience but I will bear that in mind for future ref! Agree that it is alaways best to get breast feeding up and going before introducing a bottle (if that is what the mum wants) but it is such a balance getting it right as some mums I know have had real problems getting 4 month old babies to accept a bottle which in turn has left the mum feeling very panicked that they can't leave the baby to go out or are going to have probs when they return to work. Oh well, thanks for the reply! XxX

quaranta - you're right. After feeding dd on demad all day and most of the night with one feeding boob oin my painful arms and desperatley expressing my health visitor asked if I was giving any formular. When I replied 4oz every other day so I could have a sleep she circle "not breastfeeding/formula" on a chart she had. I asked about this and she said it was for statistics.

Despite avid breastfeeding (despite being advised not to de to diabilities and dwinndling milk due to tablets), despite regularly being an active part of breastfeeding support groups, fundraising and lobbying for better facilities in our town, despite being trained as a peer supporter and still enjoying 'extendedbreast feeding' - I am a non-breastfeeder on Darlington's PCT's spreadsheets.

Gutted doesn;t even describe how I felt when I found that out.

Hi

I'm Mears sister who has 3 month old twins. I'm pleased she started this thread and I've enjoyed reading the responses. The reason I complained to her about the 'training' I got regarding breastfeeding is that I felt I was constantly been told the ideal theory but did not read enough practical advise on what to do when things go wrong. Even with Mears expert advise I reached the point that my nipples were so sore that I couldn't bear to try another latching on attempt and no colostrum could be expressed. At 1 am on the second night of having my babies I was requesting that they were given formula. It took another few days before my nipples healed and my milk arrived.
My main issues are:

• I understand the advantages of exclusive breast feeding and assumed I could do it
• I was told that I could exclusively breastfeed twins
• I understood the importance of how a good latch is needed to prevent nipple damage
• Leaflets do not go into what to do if the babies have not read the books and have a poor latch and damage your nipples
• Had not seen pictures of collecting colostrum by syringe
• Knew nothing about cup feeding, but had read lots about nipple confusion (so was confused myself)
• Writers who support exclusive breast feeding list all the negatives of formula, so at 1am in the morning I was disappointed in myself for failing to exclusively breastfeed and potentially doom my babies to a lifetime of allergies
• after a few weeks of cup feeding when I gave the babies a bottle I understood why women give up BF totally. I kept in mind why breast milk is the best and assume some is better than none. So I'm still mix feeding and hope to keep it up for a while longer. Mixed feeding suits me and I'm trying to keep my supply up but I know I don't have the resolve to get full exclusive status.

I'm a scientist and would have liked to read a leaflet which summarised what happens in the UK. How many women start BF, how long they last, what proportion mix feed, what are common problems and how are they are resolved etc. If I didn't have Mears for advice, had one baby and was in hospital for 24 hours I would have liked to have had syringes, cups, good breast pump and formula at home in case of emergencies so formula feeding could be kept to a minimum and exclusive BF restored as soon as possible. I think advise like this could help a lot of women like me.

Hi, evansg01

I'm glad things seem to be settling down and are less fraught.

You raise some interesting points. There are some leaflets around about poor latch and damaged nipples - NCT has a couple of good ones and LLL has something, too. I expect there are more. There are chapters in books about it. Any good midwife should be able to give this informed support - and know about effective ways of collecting colostrum, too, while we're at it! I think the gap in your care has been here, to be honest, not in the fact the leaflets were not available to you.

I don't think the writing on exclusive breastfeeding is strong on allergies, is it? Allergies is IMO the area where the research is least robust. I can't think of any writing which would link giving formula alongside bf to a 'lifetime of allergies' - but I accept that you can feel rotten when you hoped to excl bf and found that you had to give formula to enable your babies to be nourished and hydrated...esp at that low point of 1 am

I don't think these understandable feelings can be laid at the writers' doors, though. When you are feeling low, stuff you read can really 'get to' you, and amplify feelings you already have.

There is certainly confusion about nipple confusion My experience tells me that messing about with cups and syringes is probably not worth it - give the baby a bottle and help him enjoy feeding in a pleasurable, sucking way, and get the milk into him efficiently, at the same time as working on the attachment at the breast. I agree with you that syringes and cups and pumps should be freely available, with knowledgable support on when best to use these tools. I don't agree that formula is an important bit of kit at home, though, at least not in the absence of expected problems.

The information you ask for about actual experiences and numbers is also out there, in the Infant Feeding surveys, done every 5 years, though not in leaflet form. The latest is Infant Feeding 2005 and most of the questions you ask are answered in there - it's on the web in full and summarised form, but your sis may have a paper copy

The one topic area that's not fully dealt with in Infant Feeding is how problems are resolved (or not) in practice. I'd be interested in a survey which showed exactly what happens - not what should happen, or what works, but what actually happens.

Hope your twins continue to do well and bring you lots of joy

And therein lies confusion Tiktok

In my early years of being a midwife babies were frequently given bottles at night to allow mothers to sleep and were also given water by bottle during the day after breastfeeds. Some babies continued to go to the breast with no problems, while others rejected the breast in preference for a teat.

Baby Friendly Hospitals recommend the avoidance of dummies and teats whilst establishing breastfeeding and babies receive expressed colostrum (our unit in one). Some midwives are good at the technique of collection by syringe - others are not. It can take a while for mums to get the hang of it themselves, however it can be done very successfully. Most often used for babies at high risk of hypoglycaemia. Cup feeding is pretty easy IME, and Evans' babies were very good at it.

So I don't agree about babies having teats when trying to get breastfeeding sorted.

I am also not sure that informatin at great depth is helpful antenatally because we all know that it is when you are in the situation that you need the information. I was there to help Evans at home, however I really do not think there would have been enough communiy midwifery support for her to carry on. She needed hands on help which really isn't readily available.

I don't agree about formula at home 'just in case' either because in my young days as a midwife, mums were given a free tin of formula which gave the message that breast feeding probably wouldn't work. The rates were even lower then!

I do think that women who are struggling could be supported more to try mix feeding rather than switching totally to formula. Definitely better some breastmilk than none

Thanks, mears. The jury is out on 'nipple confusion' - read Sally Inch on this! Baby Friendly are, though, right, to discourage the use of dummies and teats, as an institutional policy, but the actual research on this is thin. I have certainly come across babies who are hooked on a cup and it is not a guarentee that the baby will return to the breast. Working on the baby's skills at breastfeeding is essential, whatever the means of transferring the ebm/formula - the baby may reject the 'unproductive' breast in favour of the 'productive' bottle or cup - that's the thinking, anyway.

If the cup and the syringe are given happily and effectively, then that is less of an issue. Mothers of larger term babies sometimes have a lot of difficulty with both of these, without skilled help. What I don't like is the midwife giving the cup or syringe (once she has taught by demo-ing) and taking over. This happens with bottles, too, of course

I absolutely agree that sometimes mothers need more help, and that mixed feeding should be enabled as an alternative to total switching. There are ways to do this that protect the breastfeeding for as long as possible. People who really understand about breastfeeding - its physiology, the experience of it, the emotional and social context - have the skills to help mothers best with this option, IMO.

"I do think that women who are struggling could be supported more to try mix feeding rather than switching totally to formula"

I have heard of midwives and hv's suggesting that a mum can't mixed feed, ie they carry on exclusively bf or switch to fully ff - bit of a shocker really but enough people have said it on this board for me to assume it gets said. I'm just wondering how many women will experience the 'one option is to carry on bf as well as using formula' suggestion as pressure to continue bf when they've expressed a wish to switch to ff.

Tiktok - I'd be very interested to know how many women you see who you feel WANT you to suggest mixed feeding. If a mum comes to see you who is struggling with bf, if there aren't medical issues at stake - ie if the baby is thriving, how is the option of mixed feeding raised during counselling?

sabire - an experienced counsellor engages in 'active listening' and asks open questions that help the mother explore her options.

I have never suggested a mother use formula, either partially or wholly. Not because I have never come across situations where formula might be appropriate for whatever reason, but because when the use of formula is raised, the mother is the one who raises it...not me. Or she reports that her midwife or HV has raised it. And then we discuss the implications of it. She should be aware by then that I am not judging her or her mothering, and she doesn't need to be scared of what I will say or think about it!

Formula is an intervention, and volunteer bfcs have to be very careful with suggesting interventions - bit like crossing a boundary into medical territory.

Often, by the time a mother sees us/speaks to us, the struggling mother has already used formula, and feels terrible about it. The counsellor would listen, and help her come to terms with it, and explain that it does not mean she cannot breastfeed, and that she has not done a terrible thing, and that while she feels sad and disappointed, these feelings will lessen in time.

Calls asking 'how do I mixed feed?' are relatively common. We explain what the impact of mixed feeding is, including on health, ensure they know and understand that it might shorten their bf, and then help them maximise their bf experience and enjoy it.

I think midwives and HVs do sometimes say 'well, you have to do one or the other' or suggest that they are not being fair on the baby, and all sorts of other stuff...I hear it all! But this idea also comes from friends and family.

Thank you Tiktok - that's very interesting!

I'm fascinated with the whole issue of communication in the bfc context. Especially what mothers hear...... I wonder if anyone's done any research into this.

"Often, by the time a mother sees us/speaks to us, the struggling mother has already used formula, and feels terrible about it."

I do think half the struggle is to get women to seek help more promptly when they are . I wonder how many hospital breastfeeding classes taught by midwives properly cover the issue of breastfeeding support services. That said, I see lots of women who've been to NCT classes who have met a bfc, have lists of numbers and clinics, but STILL don't seek help until things have got really bad. It's very frustrating.

On that note: I phoned up C&G to complain about the information on mixed feeding on their mums club site. They've got a whole section on breastfeeding problems, which runs to about 1000 words, which has no mention of bfc or of the role of the voluntary support agencies......

All the vol orgs do a ton of training in the communication aspect, sabire. I would love to read some research on what mothers actually hear as opposed to what the person actually said. Look at what people think they read on here .

There are a number of reasons why people don't seek help promptly - sometimes they are afraid they will break down in tears on the phone, sometimes they are scared they will be ordered to stop bf, or they will be judged for having already used formula...bfcs often say they get the 'train wreck' situations, where they are helping a mother who could have been helped quickly and easily days or weeks before.

They won't be judged, they won't be 'ordered to stop bf', and we are used to having people cry on the phone and it doesn't matter a bit.

Good for you calling C&G.