Tandem nursing?

[Notanexcitingname]

My ds is two, and although only feeds once a day (morning) is very much not close to weaning. I never intended to full-term bf, but was hoping for a gentle weaning between 2 and 3. It's not going to happen, well not gently anyway, and I'm not prepared to push.

I'm 10 weeks pregnant, and while I know he might wean during the second trimester, he might not. I know it' a long way off, but I'm worried. Could I keep him to once a day once baby arrives? How does one coping with toddler colustrum nappies? What if he wakes at 6am, and guzzles all of baby's morning milk (he likes both sides, several times ). Just how, boohoo

Anyone done this?

yep i bfed ds2 and ds3, and then ds3 and ds4 together.

i tandem fed ds2 and ds3 for over a year and it was fine, ds2 gradually cut down during my pregnancy, in the first trimester i stopped his night feeds as i was knackered.

then gradually he cut down to three or four feeds a day which is what he had once ds3 arrived.

i didnt find it changed his poo that much tbh, maybe it was a bit splattier, but he was eating three meals a day etc so i didnt notice a huge difference in his poo.

your body will make as much milk as a baby or babies demand so he wont use up all the milk.

the littlest one slept in so he kind of had first dibs, but then ds2 would come and join up and i would lie in bed and feed them both, the baby in the crook of my arm and ds2 snuggled up on the otherside, i used pillows underneath the arm with baby to bring him higher etc, i have largish boobs so they kind of flop over to the side...

tbh having a feeding toddler is great in the first few weeks for relieving ingorgment etc.

i just had the attitude that if he asked i would let him have it, but generally he stuck to about three feeds a day once ds3 was born, morning, afternoon and bedtime, i always made dp look after baby for the bedtime feed so that i could give ds2 a lovely snuggly lie down feed etc and he could have some 'mummy time'

tandem feeding wasnt something i planned on doing but it worked very well and i had no problems and it actually meant i could get ds2 an dds3 to sleep at the same time and we could all have a nap

Thanks 4madboys, that's just what I wanted to hear! I'd heard stories or the elder sibling giving up solid food and just drinking milk (and I couldn't imagine the resulting poo!), nor could I imagine the sleep deprivation.

I know the body responds to demand, but I was sort of thinking of the "ds1 finishes nice long guzzle at 6.05 am, baby wakes starving at 6.06 am, boobies feel tired" scenario!

I didn't suffer engorgment last time, so hadn;t thought of that.

Tell me, having fed four babies, did you find it the same everytime, I mean if you're a leaker, are you alwasy a leaker? that sort of thing.
I've been really lucky this time, in that I've had none of the disadvantages, no leakage (ever), no letdown sensation, no nipple sensitivity, no reduction in libido , and wondered if it was reasonable to hope for the same....

i would say that all my feeding experiences were similar, i always leaked, always felt the let down really strongly and the babies always found my let down too strong, my boobs did settle down each time tho and they 'seemed to know what they were doing' more each time ifyswim?

however it all depends on the baby, i have actually ended up bottlefeeding ds4 cos he was a nightmare bfeeder, really fussy at the breast, on and off, didnt latch properly, i got to 9 weeks and thought i was going mad and tbh after 6 yrs of constant bfeeding i had had enouhg, ds3 was only having one feed a day so i stopped that and weaned the baby, a hard decision but it was the right one for us.

but i would say if you had a good experience first time and you carry on bfeeding throughout the pregnancy there is every chance it will remain the same, the only thing i will say is remember you know how to bfeed but the new baby is still learning, i would forget that you have to hold a baby at thebreast very diff to how you hold a toddler, ifyswim, a toddler latches on and knows what its doing, you dont even think about it, but you will have to with the new baby, at least until it knows what it is doing

I am a tandem feeder too. DD1 was 2 when I got pg with DD2, and nearly three when she arrived. DD1 was only feeding morning, nap time and bed time and this continued through my pregnancy. Once DD2 arrived DD1 did ask to nurse a lot, pretty much every time I nursed DD2 to begin with, but I figured it was just her way of making sure she wasn't getting pushed out etc, so I went with it for a week or so and then began distracting etc and soon she was back to two or three times a day.

Don't panic, you may find that your DS weans during your pregnancy, but he may not, or he may ask to start nursing again once the new baby is here. There are no guarentees, you just kinda have to wait and see!

Good luck.

Monkies

Great book on this:

Tandem Breastfeeding

I tried it when my DS was nearly two and DD was born. I carried on for a month but felt weird comparing the size of DS to DD. I felt awful about it though because DS took it really hard when I told him he had a week left of BFing. I just couldn't bring myself to carry on. Mind you, he would be on the breast three or four times a day including bed time. Sounds like your DS is much less, NAEG.

He seems to have forgotten all about it now though. He's 3 and sees his sister on the breast regularly and has never asked for after about a month of stopping. Lots of hugs and extra affection seemed to do the trick. I hope.

Please do try and get hold of that book. It really will tell you everything you need to know. You can look here too:
www.kellymom.com/nursingtwo/faq/01safety.html
I am tandem feeding right now - 7 month old and 3 yr old. I bfed all the way through my pregnancy with no problems whatsoever. In the early days I occasionally fed them together but now my ds only feeds once a day and it's separate. Your milk supply will adjust to increased demand. I did occasionally restrict ds to one side if dd hadn't fed yet but he understood. There are enough other compromises going on too.
He did go through a phase of being more demanding but I gave him 3 rubber bracelets overnight (like those charity bracelets but childsized) and he could 'buy' a milkies. It left us both feeling in control. And he did accept it readily when the bracelets were finished for that time period (he often wanted to hold onto the last one).

THank you so much, Monkies, WW and SJM. I keep meaning to get Adventures in Tandem nursing, so will definitely do so.

And4madboys, thanks for the reassurance that the experience may well be the same. It will feel odd to bring a baby to the breast instead of just flinging one in his general direction