F.A.O. Tiktok

[JRHartley]

I have posted before about my ds fussing at the breast. He is now nearly 4 weeks old, and has never put any weight on. He was 8lb 5oz born and went down to 7lb 30z at his lowest weight. I was told by 2 midwives to basically eat junk food to rectify this. I eventually took him to see my gp when the midwife said last friday "Oh he will get dehydrated, the next step would be a hospital admission, I will call on monday" Luckily my gp is really good and put me in touch with a breastfeeding counsellor who checked my latch and has helped a lot, but I am still not completely confident and have had to give him formula as he was basically wasting away. I am also using an electric breast pump to increase my supply but only getting about 10ml off each breast. So it's been a nightmare really, and I have been advised to complain which I think I will do as it's all been spoiled by themidwives. Sorry for very long post/rant, any advice very gratefully receievd.

Sorry just to say he has now put 1.5oz on at last weighing and will be weighed again today, and has also been checked by a paediatrician to check no underlying cause apart from poor supply. I think he is only putting weight on due to formula top up though.

bumping for you, so sorry to hear this. my mws and hvs were awful too.

RL bf support from an expert is the best thing you could have done, will this support be on-going?

i am not v knowledgeable about this and hopefully someone else will be along soon, but i'd reckon advice might be too just give ds every opportunity to latch/feed...take to bed for the day with him if poss? in the bath? just general cuddling and hopefully fuss-free latching?

has he been checked for tongue tie?

good luck

JR, your story is a disgrace, really it is....are you really saying you have had no midwifery help to address the supply issue apart from to eat junk food???

Clearly, there has been a situation that needed evaluating here. You don't say how often he is feeding - the more often he feeds the more milk you will make. However he has to feed effectively and if he is lethargic or sleepy, then this won't happen, and it may well have been important to give formula to ensure he had the energy to feed well (expressed breastmilk is obv better, but not all women can get the milk out this way).

Expressing needs to be done often - at least 8 x a day inc at least 1 x at night, and this is really hard to do...but essential, unless you are sure the baby's feeding is good. I wonder if you are not expressing often enough?

What's his weight now? If it's satisfactory you can think about reducing the supplements.

Are you sleeping with him to maximise your night feeding? Skin to skin contact and 'baby wearing' in the day will help, too...basically you are aiming to increase the times he comes to the breast. Try not to be led by the clock, except to be aware to actively offer if he doesn't 'ask' to be fed for a couple of hours or so.

It can be hard, intensive work to retrieve a milk supply but it can be done

HELLO THERE. MY DEAR SON WAS 4 WEEKS LAST WEEK AND I POSTED A V SIMILAR MESSAGE ABOUT HIS FUSSING A LOT AT THE BREAST, AFTER I READ ALL THE POSTS THE CONCLUSION I CAME TO WAS THAT I COULD FEED HIM WHENEVER HE WANTED IT AND FOR AS LONG AS IT TOOK, WHICH FOR ME WAS, AS TT PUT IT AN EXCUSE TO IGNORE THE CLOCK AND GO WITH IT. THE OTHER THING I THINK WHICH HAS REALLY HELPED IT FEEDING LYING DOWN, I NOW FEED THIS WAY AT EVERY FEED I CAN AND ALL NIGHT. I HAVE STARTED TO THINK THAT HIS FUSSING WAS DICOMFORT FROM ME HOLDING HIM IN A WAY HE DIDN'T FEEL COMFORTABLE.

HE NOW TAKES LONGER FEEDS AND WILL STILL TAKE FROM BOTH BREASTS.
I WOULD SAY, HAVE FAITH THAT AS HE GETS A BIT STRONGER EVERY DAY HE WILL BECOME A BETTER FEEDER, SO YOU NEED TO FIND YOUR STRENGHT IF YOU LIKE, TO STICK IT OUT.

Ps. DS STILL ONLY WEIGHS 7lb 2oz AT NEARLY 5 WEEKS BUT WHAT HAS CHANGED IS I NOW HAVE FAITH IN MYSELF. I REALLY HOPE YOU CAN STICK IT OUT IF THATS WHAT YOU WANT, IT WILL GET BETTER ONCE YOU FEEL BETTER. HOPE SOME OF THIS HELPS, GOOD LUCK. Nat X

JHR, a LLL leader said to me: "Successful BF is 90% confidence and 10% technique". As you have been sadly let down initially with support re technique, I so hope confidence will not leave you! It is great that you now have access to a BF advisor; I have found their advice invaluble.

I am currently BF DS3, aged 14 weeks, and I can honestly say, it has taken me to the 3rd child and well into his 8-9th week of life to feel that I can truly do this . Trust me if I can, then you can too!!

PS I do feel it is hard work and I am not always injoying it, and with 2 other children the time factor is an important one. However I am quite chuffed that I have persevered and hope you will have that feeling of success too!

Hi,

my ds lost 20% birthweight, got dehydrated and had to be admitted to hosp and filled full of formula. I was put on an electric breast pump to increase my supply. I got 15ml from one breast and 6ml from the other.

4 months later he is exclusively breast fed. I had to go through a lot to increase my supply but it CAN be done.

I wrote down some notes for myself on what I would tell myself if I could go back in time to the early days. they are on tovaglia.livejournal.com/

Thanks so much for all your replies. In a way it's good to know it's not just me who has had this experience with midwives, but that means that seemingly a lot of them are just spouting this crap to people.

Yes the support from the bf counsellor will be ongoing, she is brilliant. Ds has now put on 11ozs in under a week, so he is much stronger. Tiktok you are right he did need formula to increase his strength to feed better. I still find getting the latch right difficult though.

Bf counsellor is bringing me a supplementer to still give some formula while increasing my supply. I intend to complain about the bad advice I got. Unbelievably one of the midwives who said I needed more cream cakes runs a bf support group.

Thanks again everyone.

Wow 11oz in a week, that is fab! Well done!

(yes, I know it's not all about the weight gain but I bet that is making you feel great!)

Latching takes time, well it did for me anyway, and even now at almost 7mths I occasionally ask the person at my group to check as it can change as the baby grows.

And yes the HCPs do tend to spout crap, I got told to eat more too, they also threatned us in a really horrible way with hospital admission (saying dd was failing to thrive because I'd chosen to BF) and then literally in the next breath presented me with the PND questionnaire!! Gaarrrrrrr

Thanks for all your replies, it's so nice to know i'm not the only one and I am feeling a lot less guilty and upset than I was.

I have now been given a milk supplementer that means the baby can drink the formula while still latched on to my breast, so still stimulating my milk supply hopefully. Would be interested to know if anyone else has used one or has an opinion.

Thanks sallyforth, read your notes and feel a lot better, it's not easy is it?

I know some mothers have been helped to be supported in building up to full breastfeeding with a supplementer....but boy-oh-boy are they fiddly to use!!

They are a useful tool, I think, when things are bad enough to need to use one.

The real issue often lies with rubbish support and advice, however, such as the type received by JRHartley

I used a lactation aid for about 4 weeks while mix-feeding... in my case it became tricky to use because the baby has to be nursing to use it (of course) and dd would get herself in such a right state sometimes that nursing her was impossible. I have to say it probably increased the length of time I breastfed for, but yes very fiddly to use!

the bf counsellor who helped me was keen for me to use it if it came to supplementing. was an added spur to avoid it! but only because i was very self conscious about bf and my own ability to do it. sort of wish i had now, would have been interesting.

I have tried it and it is very fiddly to use!!! It was nice though to see ds feeding from the breast so enthusiastically, pity it's not really with my milk though. Having said that i'm feeling better about the whole situation, and if i'm less stressed it can only help my milk production, and he already seems to be taking less formula and being more satisfied by my milk
Hope this is true as I keep thinking i'm imagining it though.