riddled with guilt - is it all too late?

[pregnabrain]

hello

dd2 is 4 weeks old today. she's been mainly breast-fed from the start but i had to supplement with formula from about five days old as i suffered a horrible post-natal crash (anxiety, panic attacks, insomnia) and had to be given sedatives to sleep.

am now consumed with guilt and convinced i've condemned her to a life of allergies and food problems. she's pretty much off the bottle now, and feeds really well from me, but is it all too late? have i messesd up all the benefits of bf?

am not intending to stop, btw, just really sad about what's happened.

apols if this sounds irrational and silly. amstill suffering anxiety...

Oh lordy. You've all got me in tears again

Thank you so much for your encouraging words.

No bottle last night and she slept from 10 - 5am!!

And I got my first proper full face-wrinkling smile at that early morning feed. I'm starting to remember why it's all so wonderful.

Couldn't agree more about the snuggly, cuddly thing. That look of contentment when she falls off the boob at the end of a good feed is enough to cure anyone of anxiety.

ps thank especially to TheProvincialLady. Your comments re night feeding on another thread i started a couple of weeks ago gave me the kick I needed to ditch the sedatives and go for what I really wanted - a chance to breastfeed my girl for more than a couple of weeks.

Pregnabrain-embrace the concept of the "good enough mum" and ditch any abitions to being the "perfect mum". I found perspective made all the difference. If you aim for "good enough" you will exceed your set goals all the time and feel good about yourself, which will make you a happy persons=happy mother=happy child!

I am so impressed that you kept going with BF in difficult personal circs! Respect .

Thank you mummyfor3. You've hit upon my fundamental problem - I am (and always have been) a perfectionist. I am starting to realise how incompatible that is with being a mum .

I think we'd all be happier as a family if I set myself more realistic goals and chilled out a lot more.

Hey! This is like online therapy

Oh pregnabrain I am so happy for you (have just re read that thread as I couldn't remember saying anything sensible in the last two weeks mentioning night feeds). What a star you are