9 week old ds won't fall asleep unless at boob, is BF to sleep a good or bad thing? Help!

[ballstothehousework]

My 9 week old ds is sleeping through but feeds erratically during day, sometimes short, sometimes long, rarely goes more than 2 hours in between... and doesn't seem to settle for naps/bedtime unless I feed him to sleep.

I keep trying to keep him awake a bit after a feed then settle him but find impossible as starts crying/rooting again and I end up feeding him again til he falls asleep. Not sure if he's still hungry or suckling for comfort, and if it is the latter, is it a bad habit to get into?

Should I be teaching him to sleep on his own by putting him down awake? Or am I just worrying unnecessarily and expecting too much of a routine at this stage? There seems to be a lot of different opinions, advice please??

At his age I would just feed him and put him down. I always tried to put them in slightly awake, ie not sound asleep, but not to the point of waking them again after the feed and then putting them down. I would try to feed and burp and put in before the full sleep, IYKWIM, but dont wake him fully in between. He is very young, just enjoy him and dont worry about that yet.

it's totally normal and designed that wya!!!

i am a dogged bfeed to sleep supporter. it's the only thing that works for mine, so why knock it! they will learn how to settle themselves in time, when they are more confident about being left alone.

balls - what your ds is doing is very natural and normal. It does not mean he will never be able to get to sleep without feeding - in fact, by 9 weeks old, I am pretty sure you will have observed him dropping off to sleep in other circumstances ( a ride in the car, when you are pushing him in the pram, for instance) even if he usually feeds before falling asleep.

It is not a 'bad habit' - it is a baby habit which he does automatically and which he will grow out of needing to do at some stage.

One way to look at it is to think of his normal and natural weeing and pooing - his gut and bladder just behave the way they do because he is 9 weeks old. It is not a 'bad habit' - we accept he does this because he is a baby and that at some point, he will be mature enough to learn to do this in the 'right' place.

We don't expect him to talk or walk yet - he will do both when he is able to! You don't need to teach him to do either.

trying to make sure he stays awake is to fight his natural behaviour, and understandably, he objects and cries...wouldn't you object too?

Who is telling you it is something you should be trying to change?

Totally normal. You can try to change it if it bothers you, but if not, leave well alone. Don't bow to public "making a rod for your own back" pressure if you're fine with it - or use the rod to whack people who say it

What you baby is doing is perfectly normal. They all do it. I'm sure eventually, when the time is right, he will not be able to sleep while breast feeding and will want to come away before falling asleep. He's still very tiny and may not form a routine for ages. you have to learn to go with the flow - as hard as it is!

Ps. I can't believe he is already sleeping through. Mine didn't do that until about 6-7 months. You have to learn to look at the positives

I think bfing to sleep is a very good thing.
Some people spend hours rocking or shushing or patting (or ignorning) their baby to sleep. You don't have to do any of that! Just whack him on the boob ad you're done. . Don't make life hard for yourself. I always fed dd to sleep until she stopped of her own accord. Just 10 mins ago I fed my own 9-week-old ds to sleep. It must be such a lovely, comforting, snuggly, wonderful way to go to sleep. I'm a big fan.

Cheers guys. tiktok, with regards to the who is telling me question - have just noticed that from various health professionals and mums I've met recently, there seems to be big emphasis on teaching babies to sleep. I guess the lack of routine has been getting to me a bit but I'm going to just go with the flow and enjoy him!

I never suffered the whole overtired baby thing until about 4 months because as soon as he got unsettled the first thing we (still) try is a feed - and he'd be asleep.

Now he's a distracted 23 week old and if I can get a little more milk down him during the day by feeding him to sleep, then great. Its (almost) the only thing that settles him long enough to help him ignore the exciting world and drift off

I read something (can't remember where but it stuck in my head) that said that people who refuse to feed their babies to sleep are wasting a great thing - the hormones in milk that make babies and us sleepy must be there for a reason!

Nursing to sleep is one of the best things about breastfeeding. Aptly I have just managed to get my toddler to take a nap by nursing her to sleep..still works at 22 months

Should add she doesn't need to nurse to sleep with daddy or grandma she just needs a cuddle but with mummy we usually nurse before sleeping.

If it works it is definately the right thing to do There is no right and wrong, it's what suits you.

BE, DS2 will very occasionally fall asleep while breastfeeding as well - he's 2.6 this month!

Awww, that is sweet Hunker.

I hope it continues to work for my DD with number 2 very nearly here, I need my sleep and she is trying to phrase out her only nap of the day....noooo !!!

I thought I would stop earlier as I had a difficult time, but I'm still breastfeeding at 14 months and I think the main reason is that she goes to sleep on the breast without too much fuss, so no routine in the evening, she feeds and then her dad takes her to her room. If I put her in cot without it it's hell! Read an article about a mum who bf at three years and she says it's brilliant to calm tantrums. My baby has some already and it does work, so really tempted to go on!

It sounds to me like being fed to sleep IS your baby's routine!
I bf till 6m with both my boys, they used to fall asleep feeding. Then they would fall asleep with a bottle which was great if they were overtired and needed a nap etc.
I think its as much the cuddle and warmth from you that gets him to sleep, as the fact that he is feeding.

My DS is 13 weeks. He has always needed feeding to sleep. I would often try to put him down semi-awake but he would immediately cry loudly and persistently so I'd pick him back up and give him more, and feed him until he was pretty much comatose.

About 2 weeks ago, I put him down semi-awake again just to see what happened, and he chuntered a bit and cried a little but in a fairly quiet, tired, non-persistent way and then he just drifted off to sleep. And he's done this a few times since. I still need to feed him a lot before putting him down, but it seems he is able to let himself do the last bit of drifting off now IYSWIM. I expect he will need feeding until he is close to sleep for a long while yet, but at least it seems he doesn't actually need to be asleep before I put him down anymore. So maybe your DS will be like mine and gradually start to be a little better at letting himself drift off to sleep. Maybe just try putting him down while still slightly awake on the odd occasion. If he doesn't immediately scream then just see what happens (but obviously pick him up if he is distressed rather than just letting out a last tired few whimpers).

Balls - I periodically worry about things like this especially when I have been chatting to other mums who do things differently. It is only natural to compare or to want reassurance. I don't think you will create bad habits, just a content and secure little boy. I still feed my DS to sleep at 7 months and I love that snuggly time with him. He will learn to fall asleep independently when he is ready. I have just read the Baby Sleep Book by Dr Sears and it is v.interesting re sleep and breast-fed babies. Think they have a website too.