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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

I know this is really selfish.... but....

19 replies

littlemisssplendid · 01/07/2008 20:26

I felt quite jealous today when I bumped into a friend who is ff her dd (who is the same age as my dd - 9 weeks). Husband does the night feeds, she gets to go out a couple of times a week, have quite a few drinks, her dd stays overnight with the grandparents. Really I'm just jealous that she has some independence and a bit of a life.

I'm enjoying bf and am able to express etc but sometimes it would be nice to be able to go out for a couple of hours and leave other people to look after dd and not have to worry about defrosting milk and taking a pump with me (which I haven't done yet, incidently, as I haven't been away from her for more than 2 hours).

I feel really guilty for thinking like this - it's not much to give up a few months of your life is it?

OP posts:
oranges · 01/07/2008 20:29

don't feel guilty - it's perfectly normal to feel like that. why don't you try to express milk and leave her for a couple of hours and going out? It may not be as tough as you think.

tab1 · 01/07/2008 20:29

it's worth losing some independence to give your dd the best start in life and I personally think 9 weeks is early to leave a baby overnight although that's just me. My dd is 12 months and still bf and I take her everywhere and wouldn't change it for the world. They are only babies once, so make the most of it.

SquiffyHock · 01/07/2008 20:30

Don't worry - I FF and from that experience would guess that she feels envious of your breastfeeding. Two years on from DD's birth and I still feel a bit when I see friends who successfully bf.

morningpaper · 01/07/2008 20:31

It is hard now and a bit of a faff but I enjoyed the night-time feeds... I found it relaxing... the older they get, the EASIER it is. If you were going on a nice day out with a 6 month-old you would be pleased you didn't have to worry about taking bottles/formula/how to heat it up etc. etc. It's great to be able to just be spontanous, grab a few nappies and go out for the day, or for a drive or for a walk. In the long run, bf is MUCH more convenient IME.

scorpio1 · 01/07/2008 20:33

Agree with squiffy

Also it sounds like you are getting cabin fever - me too i am bf-ing 10 week old. I express and go out with friends etc - she is fine with DH and i feel much better.

DD sleeps through so i can have a few too - though one glass and im anyones, lol

I have FF both ds and i was insanely jealous of BF-ers.

Original poster
littlemisssplendid · 01/07/2008 20:35

Yeah, i know and to be honest there isn't anywhere i really want to go at the moment . I'm just tired and moaning and would like someone else to take over for a few hours

OP posts:
AnyFuleKno · 01/07/2008 20:35

Hang in there, you may be lucky and have one of those miraculous babies that sleeps through the night! Then you can safely go out as soon as you know they are in bed...

if not the gaps between feeds will get longer and you can go out for a bit in the evening and have a glass of wine (why not).

My dd sleeps from 8pm usually until at least midnight so I can squeeze in a night out, meal or cinema trip in that gap usually.

However, don't feel too deprived about not going out much, this is baby time and it won't last!

scorpio1 · 01/07/2008 20:37

Also when she has been on boob all day dh gives her EBM and i wallow in the bath, then lounge out on my bed painting my nails, watching tv etc until next feed due

Original poster
littlemisssplendid · 01/07/2008 20:37

Thanks, might take your advice and arrange a night out.

OP posts:
Pruners · 01/07/2008 20:37

Message withdrawn

ConnorTraceptive · 01/07/2008 21:48

I know how you feel DS2 is 4 months an dsometimes I feel a bit suffocated because I'm needed 24/7.

But for what it's worth I stopped breast feeding DS1 when he was 10 weeks old and really regretted it after. I really missed it, he was such a lovely feeder too. Breast feeding him was a breeze.

Also now that ds2 is going longer through the night I've been able to give him his 7pm feed and go out in the evening, knowing that he won't want a feed for another 6 or 7 hours. Also if you stay local you can get back quickly enough if you need to, they're not gonna starve!

jammi · 01/07/2008 22:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

cupsoftea · 01/07/2008 22:27

littlemiss just think of all the hassle she has with ff - all those bottles to clean & give - you can mumsnet & bf at the sametime!

BouncingTurtle · 01/07/2008 22:32

Littlemisssplendid - I know what you mean, I feel the same way at times, and feel guilty about it. I too remind myself it's only a few months of my life as well. I think it is made harder by the fact I have 2 close friends who ff their babies from the get go, and of my AN class of 6 mums only 2 of us are still bfing, 1 failed to get bfing established because her ds wouldn't latch, the other 3 all gave up bfing after 4-5 months to "get their life back". One of them definitely regretted giving up just before she went abroad!

BouncingTurtle · 01/07/2008 22:33

"you can mumsnet & bf at the sametime!"

Unless you have my wriggly ds

nik76 · 02/07/2008 07:58

I am so glad you have said that - I feel the same. I friend from work had her baby 5 weeks before me and due to problems is FF, each time she talks about going here or there or out for the night or when granny had the baby over night my eyes go green!!!!!

theSuburbanDryad · 02/07/2008 08:20

She leaves her baby overnight at 9 weeks??!

flubdub · 02/07/2008 09:49

I agree with Squiffyhock - she probably feels the same about you

TotalChaos · 02/07/2008 09:51

I think it's unusual for a ff'ing mum to have that level of support. I certainly had far less, and very little help with feeding from DH.

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