Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

did you ever see anyone bf before having your own kids?

61 replies

moominsmummy · 30/06/2008 19:26

talking to alot of other mums I am surprised that so many of them had never seen anyone breastfeeding until they had babies themselves. (I was a bit naive in this as have grown up with lots of bf going on around me)

did you ever see anyone breastfeed before you had your baby(ies)? If not would you have found it useful to have met someone who bf whilst you were still pg?

am just wondering if it's worthwhile for PG ladies to have the chance to meet bf mums to see what happens and hear about their experiences?? (FWIW i wouldn't be bothered about a stranger watching me bf but can appreciate there are many who would be bothered)

OP posts:
RubySlippers · 30/06/2008 19:28

yes - i saw my mum breastfeeding

also, a woman who used to do some work for me, came to a meeting with her young daughter and breastfed her whilst we chatted

ElfOnTheTopShelf · 30/06/2008 19:29

Nope. Never. Never even occured to me to breastfeed, it was only when I was a few months gone and DH said "I'd like you to breast feed" that I even thought about how I was going to feed our child!

TigerFeet · 30/06/2008 19:30

My sister was born when I was 17 and my Mum bf'ed her, just for a short while though. Other than that I didn't see anyone bf until I landed on the maternity ward following dd's birth.

I would have liked to have met someone who was actively bfing when I was pregnant but I never had the opportunity. There is a great bf group where I live but I was working full time and never made it there until after dd was born although I realise now that I could have gone along beforehand, I just didn't think of it at the time.

Once I was regularly attending the bf group one or two pg ladies came along including one 16yo - I was happy to show them what I was doing and I hope it helped them.

thelittlestbadger · 30/06/2008 19:31

No. My SIl breastfed my nephew but she was very unhappy about the size of her norks and so shut herself away. Although we were close, NOONE, not even DB was allowed to be with her while she fed.

ElfOnTheTopShelf · 30/06/2008 19:33

I only really ever fed in front of DH and on the odd ocassion my mum/sisters.
I fed in a park once in front of a load of old ladies but nobody I knew.

tab1 · 30/06/2008 19:34

only 1 person and i swore I would never bf as it looked painful. Thanksfully I am still bf my dd at 12 mo so things change. My bf support group is well attended and pregnant woman are invited along as part of their anti natal classes. Also group runs at same time as midwife clinic for newborns so all new moms are invited in and encouraged.

FrannyandZooey · 30/06/2008 19:37

that's the problem with all this 'discreet breastfeeding' malarkey
you never SEE any bugger actually DOING it these days and there is no hope at all of it ever being normalised

if you do actually see anyone at it you feel you have to look the other way - well I think most people do
I always have a good gawp unless the person is obviously trying to do it secretly
I think it is fab and it's a nice thing to have someone sitting next to you companionably watching you doing it

moondog · 30/06/2008 19:43

Yes, because I grew up in Papua New Guinea where an extremely wise govt. made bottles available only on prescription in the 70s as a response to alarming infant mortality rate brough about by actions of formula companies.

Saw nothing but for years.

moondog · 30/06/2008 19:43

Yes, because I grew up in Papua New Guinea where an extremely wise govt. made bottles available only on prescription in the 70s as a response to alarming infant mortality rate brough about by actions of formula companies.

Saw nothing but for years.

ElfOnTheTopShelf · 30/06/2008 19:43

I never felt comfortable whipping them out, not because I feel there is anything wrong with it (I b/fed until dd was 18mths) but I was never confident enough to do it.

NellyTheElephant · 30/06/2008 19:44

DH and I were talking about this the other day - I vividly recall the only time either of us ever saw anyone bf in public prior to having our girls, I was in my mid twenties and went to pick up my MA from university. My best friend from uni had a tiny newborn with her at the ceremony and was bf her there. DH and I were both a bit shocked and surprised by her doing this, although hopefully we weren't exactly disapproving. How my attitude has changed - of course once I had my girls I bf anywhere and everywhere without a thought. I think it was partly because back in my mid twenties she was the only one of my friends with children. Now in my mid thirties everyone has children so we are quite used to seeing other mothers bf.

TigerFeet · 30/06/2008 19:48

Agree Franny

I got my norks out anywhere - pubs, ferries, waiting rooms...

I found the more I tried to be discreet the more obvious I was anyway so in the end I just got on with it. I never had anyone say anything rude, unkind or unfriendly. The only person who felt uncomfortable with it was FIL who would leave the room - understandable I suppose

I love looking at mums breastfeeding their dc's. I'm amazed I've never been told off for staring at a complete stranger!

InTheDollshouse · 30/06/2008 19:48

My mum. And I also grew up in PNG and saw plenty of breastfeeding there.

ElfOnTheTopShelf · 30/06/2008 19:51

Whenever I slipped off to b/feed DD my FIL would say to DH "she doesn't have to do that in private you know, its the most natural thing in the world!"

Pruners · 30/06/2008 19:53

Message withdrawn

ib · 30/06/2008 19:54

Yes. Quite a few. My mum, sisters, friends... but tbh until I was pg I never paid any attention at all.

meglet · 30/06/2008 20:03

come to think of it, no i didn't. Although me and my sister were bf. But I only knew one friend who had a baby and she ff, although I was that she didn't try to bf.

WinkyWinkola · 30/06/2008 20:06

I saw my best friend's aunt bf her baby in the early 80's. My best friend was embarrassed but I wasn't even though it was the first bfing I'd seen and we were 13 and terribly self conscious.

I think it would make a huge difference for pg mums to meet bfing mums to normalise breastfeeding. It's viral in that sense, normalising it for folk.

My PIL were taken aback by my bfing at first and now they're so comfortable with it my MIL says she wishes she'd done it with her children.

claraquitetirednow · 30/06/2008 20:09

Yes, one of my oldest and best friends, cool as a cucumber breastfeeding her newborn baby son in a cafe while we sat and chatted. I was about 6 weeks gone with my first. I intended to breastfeed anyway but she was a good role model for breastfeeding in public - just got on with it, no big deal, nice and discreet but not embarrassed.

moondog · 30/06/2008 20:10

Really Drama?
Whereabouts and when?

MrsTittleMouse · 30/06/2008 20:11

I only saw two people breastfeed before I had DD (both friends). I never saw anyone in our family BF (although to be fair, there aren't many candidates) and I didn't feed in front of my extended family, or any of the ILs. I think that they would have been so embarrassed that I couldn't have coped. I fed in front of strangers and friends with no problem though.
To be honest, watching others feed didn't teach me how to feed (they were too discrete ), but I think that it did normalise it a bit to see the one friend feed. The other was so intent on sacrificing herself for her child that it kind of put me off a bit.

EffiePerine · 30/06/2008 20:12

Only a friend pretty soon before having DS. Noone in my family bfed for any length of time (thank goodness for MN )

StealthPolarBear · 30/06/2008 20:14

No, not really until I went to NCT events antenatally.
In fact my aunt wore a t shirt when i was young - an outline picture of a baby blowing what i assumed was a bubblegum bubble with the words "TAKE GOOD CARE OF YOUR BABY"
It mystified me until very recently

MumRum · 30/06/2008 20:21

I worked as a hairdresser and one day one of my clients brought her newborn baby in..
she got her breasts out to feed the baby.. (yes both of them) she had black nipples and blue veins! I have never forgotten it... it made me feel sick! (ok, I know its the most natural thing in the world but it made me feel sick... I can't help the way I feel)....
the only other person was a dh friends wife... he had to hold her hand because it hurt so much...

I bottle fed!

Aitch · 30/06/2008 20:24

ooooh dramaqueen and moony might be Best Friends from Childhood.

Swipe left for the next trending thread