I think I'm doing this wrong..

[scrappydappydoo]

DD2 is 4mths and is fully bf - I bf dd1 but at this point we were topping up with formula at night so she was sleeping through. DD2 is still waking up every 2hrs to feed and its killing me - i'm so knackered all the time espec with dd1 waking up at 5.30 every morning! She's just been through her 4mth growth spurt but tbh her sleep pattern has never changed from when she was born. When she wakes she feeds until she pulls herself off so i think shes getting enough.
Please please give me some advice - I feel like I'm going wrong with bf and I am really tempted to top up but don't want to stop bf.

Have you tried co-sleeping? There are ways of doing it safely. My dd went through a hellish sleeping phase between 4 + 5 months old and I found it v helpful. I never quite slept deeply but was able to doze/sleep lightly which was better than the being up every hour or so that was happening previously!

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It may have just been coincidence that she slept through and was topped up so don't look at it like it is definitely the bf causing it.

Dd has slept through maybe 6 times (she is 2 now!) and was mixed fed then ff from 3 weeks. I wish ff had been the answer!

Do you think that it was the formula that made your dd1 sleep through, or just that she was ready to earlier than your dd2? It's so difficult not to compare isn't it? My dd was fully ff and sleeping through at 3 months and my ds is fully bf and nowhere near sleeping through at 23 weeks - it would be easy for me to assume that it was because he's bf but I've read on MN many times that it makes no difference and that your baby sleeps through when they are physiologically ready to. Bit of bummer though . You could always try a bottle before bed if you like but it'll probably make no difference....

It's not you doing it wrong; it's just how he is. If it's any consolation, my son fed every 45 minutes some nights at that age .

There was nothing wrong with him or me, he was just busy making his way from the 9the to the 91st centile . It all got much better at around 5-6 months

Well I do end up co-sleeping but I don't like it cos I'm paranoid I'll roll on top of her plus i can't bf lying down so still have to sit up to sort her out...
I did think ff helped dd1 sleep better but she was never a good bfer however dd2 feeds brill just very frequently and I'm beginning to wonder if I've misunderstood the whole bfing on demand

oh I do feel for you, and I have to say that co-sleeping was the answer for us too. I'd arrange the pillows half way down the bed so LO was at the top and I slept lower (DP had decamped to another bed for a time). I never mastered bf lying down for the first 3 of my DCs, this time round we cracked it (I'd wake up and she'd be latched on).

It will change, and I suspect very soon. Like you say, its a growth spurt. Perhaps practice feeding lying down during the day?

I rest LOs head on my upper arm nearest to her, holding her close and have to hold my breast in position (hey, she's my fourth - they aren't so pert anymore! ). Its uncomfortable but I can sleep this way now!

Good luck with this one. You are doing really well.

I couldn't have survived those first few months of night wakings without co-sleeping, getting up and down that often is a nightmare.

I think you are extremely unlikely to roll on your baby as long as you haven't been drinking and so on, you are very in tune and hormones stop you going into a deep sleep.

They do usually settle down and go for longer in the end but it can be very hard until they do. You have done brilliantly getting this far.
Can you get more help in the daytime while the nights are still tricky?

and you are not doing anything wrong!

You are responding to your babies needs whch is what you are supposed to do but it is hard sometimes and it can seem neverending but it will improve.

Cheers for the reassurance - I just finding it very hard with two at the mo - dh works long hours and often does long drives so I'm very conscious that he needs a good nights sleep otherwise I'd be worrying about him falling asleep at the wheel..

I found it harder going from one to two dcs than I do now with three. I think it was because dh worked away a lot then, a bit like you. He has certainly never been any good at night wakings, sleeps like a log!

I think I had a lot of lazy days trying to catch up with sleep. Ask for help if you can, it's hard at first but people usually mean it when they say 'let me know if I can do anything'.

It really is a short phase in the scheme of things, though it seems neverending, and you are doing the best you can. Be kind to yourself as well.