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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

Has anybody ever said anything negative to you when you've breastfed in public?

68 replies

flubdub · 29/06/2008 12:47

Just wondering really, as everyone gets worked up about bf-ing in public, so are people rude about it?

OP posts:

Pavlovthecat · 29/06/2008 12:50

I have only ever had positive things said, and lots of kind people, looks of support, the odd stare, just because they were surprised.

I fed DD wherever and whenever she needed it. I refused to hide away when I did it so fed her in restuarants/cafes, in the park, on the train, etc etc. I was always discrete as in never got my norks out on display, but never hid what I was doing, so plenty of opportunity for negative comments if people wanted to, but no.

pud1 · 29/06/2008 13:08

i have had the same experiance. i also feed dd where ever i need to and i have found people really supportive. have had people come up to me and tell me how lovely it is too see a confident mother feeding in public. to be honest i think that if anyone was to be negative towards me they would regret it

Blu · 29/06/2008 13:12

Nope- only positive experiences.

I was alone and feeding DS for ages at the RFH on a hot day - a woman came up to me and asked if I would like her to bring me a cold drink.

We stopped in a lay-by outside a farm and the farmer-lady came out and tapped on the car window and asked if I'd like to come into her sitting room and be more comfortable.

kingfix · 29/06/2008 13:12

Same here, only supportive remarks and help and I've fed wherever I've gone. Having said that, I have heard people be critical about bf in public when there was no bf-ing woman present, so maybe people do disapprove silently

slim22 · 29/06/2008 13:14

you mean apart from my mother and MIL

No, only nice smiley people

Romy7 · 29/06/2008 13:15

never.
far more likely to get rude comments when children are screaming because they are hungry!

i did laugh yesterday, when i was sitting chatting in a park to a woman who was bfing her dd - my dd1 (8) came up and was totally unselfconsciously stroking the baby's head softly whilst she was feeding... neither the mum nor the baby seemed to mind, but i did wonder if perhaps i should ask my dd to give them a bit more space!

theSuburbanDryad · 29/06/2008 13:18

Unfortunately I have had negative remarks - but the positive comments have outweighed them! I wonder if it depends on your geographical location - I had a few nasty comments when we lived in Northampton, and got asked to move to the toilets on more than one occasion - but here in South Bucks I've only had lovely comments and smiles. I thought I was going to get a horrible comment when i fed ds (17 months) at soft play last week, i was sat on a sofa opposite a (bites lip, ducks) rather rough looking couple but fed anyway and prepared to defend myself! Instead we had a lovely chat about our children (they had a little girl a month older than ds) and if they were surprised, shocked or offended to see me bf-ing they certainly didn't say anything!

That'll teach me not to be such a judgypants next time!

Original poster

flubdub · 29/06/2008 13:27

SD at being asked to move.

OP posts:

blondiep14 · 29/06/2008 13:28

I haven't been very brave about feeding DS (5months) in public , i tend to go in loos or other private places.

recently tho I have fed him on an almost empty train, and the other day i fed him on a bench in a zoo so i feel rather pleased with myself!

It's my shyness tho, no-one has ever said anything to put me off. I just haven't been greatly supported to feed in public I guess.

policywonk · 29/06/2008 13:34

Only once - 'bitty' from a bunch of teenagers smoking and drinking cider in a children's playground . Mind you, DS2 was already 3 by this point, so they probably were a bit surprised.

theSuburbanDryad · 29/06/2008 13:35

Blondie - I understand your shyness but please don't feed your lo in the loo! If you feel exposed why don't you try draping a muslin or blanket over your shoulder, or try a vest/cardigan combo (i know what makes me worried I'm exposing myself isn't my boobs but my flabby tummy )

Most of all, don't worry about anyone making negative remarks to you - it's very rare and I think I was just very unlucky! Or perhaps I looked too militant while i was feeding and people thought they'd come and have a go to make themselves look hard!! Is there a bf-ing group or baby cafe near you? do you have any friends who are bf-ing mums who you could go and have a coffee with you and help you feel less shy? I'm sure if you don't know anyone in rl there'll be someone on MN who'll go with you! Whereabouts are you?

theSuburbanDryad · 29/06/2008 13:37

That is one cute baby you have on your profile there Blondie! I have a friend in Harlow who might be up for meeting for a coffee - i"m also there quite often myself, so if you fancied meeting up then give me a shout!

Bumperlicious · 29/06/2008 13:46

Never - apart from my mother

NickiSue · 29/06/2008 13:49

My experience is slightly different - I had negative comments for BOTTLE-feeding my newborn (seriously!). Two comments when Kieran was small "I hope thats expressed milk" and "Are you formula feeding????? Seriously?". Hey-ho! I suppose I should be grateful because 2 comments are nothing compared to what some people get when breast-feeding.

blondiep14 · 29/06/2008 13:50

Thanks SD! I do cover up the tum with double layer combos, and to meet me you'd never think i would be shy about it, but for some reason I am!!

I'm just getting more confident when people are now constantly expressing surprise I am still feeding & haven't weaned him yet .

ah, thanks, must add some more recent ones thinking about it!

Harlow's quite a trek from me & I don't drive unfortunately - but do let me know if you fancy a trip to the coast ever!

StrangeTown · 29/06/2008 13:53

The staff in Boots were not exactly rude, just extremely unhelpful. I had read somewhere that they had a policy of providing a private area, chair and glass of water if required for BF mums, but when I asked was told to sling it and they didn't have anywhere suitable. I was v annoyed as it was a large Boots and I had planned to feed there. I plonked myself down on one of the chairs in the pharmacy bit and fed DS regardless and eventually the manager came and let me use the staff room as his male teenage staff were lurking (very obviously) and making lots of other people uncomfortable.

ShowOfHands · 29/06/2008 13:54

A chap in the GP's waiting room did say to the receptionist when dd was 8 weeks 'That woman's breastfeeding' (with a look of utter repulstion) and the receptionist breezily said 'I know, isn't it lovely?'. Other than that, people were lovely and supportive in the early days in particular.

More recently I've noticed some surprised and slightly faces as dd is a confident walker, chats a bit and is very tall so asks for milk, lifts my top up and says 'ta' afterwards. She's only 14 months and I find bfing as 'normal' now as ever but accept that in public it's not so common to see a toddler feeding. That's why I continue to do it I think- to show people it's normal.

StrangeTown · 29/06/2008 13:56

Saying 'Ta' after SOH - brilliant.

BroccoliSpears · 29/06/2008 13:58

Never. Fed dd all over for 14 months, and now 9 weeks into feeding ds. On benches, in cafes, in shops, in the park, in restaurants, in airports, on the plane, on the bus, in waiting rooms, in church, at weddings, walking around the supermarket... Bfing is discrete anyway so I never tuck myself away or try and hide what I'm doing. Have only ever got positive comments and smiles.

(Must admit I almost look forward to the day some poor sod asks me not to feed my baby...)

Original poster

flubdub · 29/06/2008 14:00

showofhands - how old was that man? Howhorrid. Did he think they would ask you to leave?
Or maybe he wanted some!!

OP posts:

detoxdiva · 29/06/2008 14:04

Never. Was also a bit wary at first about managing to feed without exposing myself, but it got so much easier, and actually what surprised me was that no-one really took any notice

On holiday in Spain when dd was 5 mo I fed her in a restaurant while we were waiting for our food. We were sat outside and 2 old spanish ladies looked as they walked by, said something to each other then grabbed their third friend who was with them and walked back to show her what I was doing!!

theSuburbanDryad · 29/06/2008 14:04

Showofhands - what a fantastic receptionist!! My old GP's surgery (in Northampton) had a "Breastfeeding Welcome" sticker on the door but when I had to bf ds they asked me to move to a private room! More fools them - my mw went through the roof at them!

Original poster

flubdub · 29/06/2008 14:10

Jesus, some people! Im shocked, truly. Attitudes really need to change, they truly do.

OP posts:

theSuburbanDryad · 29/06/2008 14:11

Flubdub - come to our Breastfeeding Picnic!! There is a thread on here about it too!

SqueakyPop · 29/06/2008 14:13

I never had any negative comments, but did have a few people moving away if I started feeding on a public bench.

If anything, I had more compliments for doing the right thing - usually from older men.

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