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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Breastfeeding and co-parenting/overnight stays.

27 replies

JustMePlus3 · 04/08/2026 21:23

Me and my partner live separately, we have a nearly 20 month old toddler who’s still breastfeeding obsessed, it’s her only form of comfort and her biggest sleep association, we’ve co-slept since day one and she’s always fed to sleep, and still wakes frequently through the night to feed, obviously more for comfort than nutrition.

As we’re approaching her 2nd birthday me and my partner are trying to navigate how and when she will start having overnight stays with him, I’m very unsure how this will work as she’s never taken a pacifier, had a comfort blanket ect and the only other way she sleeps for a nap in the day is to take her for a walk in the pushchair which obviously isn’t practical for night time as she can’t sleep in a pushchair twice a week.

shes definitely not ready to be weaned from breastfeeding and as I am a solo parent (dad only visits once a week for a few hours due to his own commitments) I am not willing to put myself and my daughter through the strain of trying to wean while I have nobody else to support her getting to sleep, I think it would take a massive tole on my mental health to have to force-ably put my daughter through that and deny her her only source of comfort.

dads Adamant he will be able to settle her, so I’m kinda just in the mind frame of just letting him try and if he’s successful then great, and if he isn’t then, I told you so? Those situation and just continuing to breastfeed while she’s with me until she’s ready to wean on her own. I say “i told you so” as she’s always shared a bed with me and fed throughout the night and this was never an issue with him until recently, seems to all of a sudden have a chip on his shoulder about it even though he used to praise me for it, but anyway. so her going there and having not only her “Milkies” taken away, but also having to sleep alone is going to stress the poor girl out beyond belief and I think once dad realizes this he’s going to realize it’s too soon for her and hopefully come to his senses but it’s causing a lot of tension in the relationship so I’d rather he just realize this for himself than him keep labelling me the bad guy.

the question is, would I need to pump during the nights she isn’t here since she would normally breastfeed so frequently through the night? I wouldn’t want my milk to dry up for when she is here? or would my body still sustain my supply now due to how far along we are?

OP posts:
JustMePlus3 · 05/08/2026 14:29

@converseandjeansyes me and the older kids dad get on very well and have remained friends, they visit there dads most weekends,

no when we got together his step dad lived with him so he would always visit my house when his kids were at there mums, this was previous to the older child being kicked out and then we didn’t see each other much, it wasn’t until I had my daughter we went to visit and saw how utterly disgusting it was, I took videos and videos for evidence and then never went back. & we always saw each other while the children were at school, he made out he was an amazing dad and it was a quality I thought I liked about him until I actually started spending time with him around his kids and realised that what he was telling me was far from reality. I knew he smoked cannabis but never knew he smoked it in the communal areas of the house around the children, as time went on I leant more and more but by that time it was too late 👎

OP posts:
converseandjeans · 05/08/2026 15:27

@JustMePlus3 that’s good news your other ex is a good parent. Honestly I would pull back completely from facilitating any contact at all with this one - let alone unsupervised overnight stays.

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