15 weeks, tongue tie being cut but will it make a difference at this point to BF?

[Orangelover]

Difficult BF journey so far. Baby DS completely refused to latch in hospital despite trying my hardest with various positions etc. Went home on a mix of formula/expressing. When my milk came in properly he managed to latch with nipple shields and gradually around week 3 latched without them with the support of the local infant feeding team. Latch was always shallow, but due to a good supply in the early weeks and a decent let down he managed to gain weight and get by I think.

Around week 7-8 I started to feel like BF was becoming more painful. I saw the team again who agreed latch was shallow, lots of audible clicking and possibly something else going on - eg tongue tie. He also struggles to latch properly with a bottle, takes a long time to drink 4oz and lots of breaks/clicking there too. I was referred to the lactation consultant who was brilliant and basically assessed baby as having extremely poor oral function likely caused by a posterior tongue tie, and i’d been doing all I could in terms of positions and breast compressions to make the best of it. She did congratulate me for getting this far with him.

He was referred to have his tongue tie snipped and our appointment is on Weds. This last week or so our BFing has gone from bad to worse to be honest, very fussy at the breast. The milk is there, but now my supply has regulated and I’m not engorged all the time he just can’t remove it well enough to have a full feed. I’ve started topping up, with expressed if I’ve got it (but difficult to pump when he’s feeding all the time) and some formula too. When he’s had a nice big feed via a bottle he’s such a happy baby and it’s making me so sad I can’t get him there just with the breast.

I'm trying to pump plenty to try and keep my supply going until tongue tie is snipped just so I can say we really did try everything but realistically, will his latch improve now at 15 weeks? Or do I need to prepare that this could naturally be the end of our BF journey? Do I try and continue with some pumping alongside formula just for the BF benefits?

Makes me so sad typing all of this. I didn’t have many thoughts on preferences as a parent but I did always really really want to breast feed and I do feel frustrated at how hard it’s been. I’ve committed so much to trying it’s realistically ruined the first few months of enjoying my gorgeous baby through constant worry about getting milk into him.

I pumped for four months with my first , who had a high palate. Only then did he latch on with the aid of nipple shields, which we were able to discard later. We kept going to 13m after that, and it was a breeze.

it felt worth it in the end, but as you have found, it is soul-destroying and dominated our early days with him.

Yes DS also has a high palate as well as his tongue issues. I’m persevering but I’ve never known anything so hard. I wish I’d just kept the nipple shields going to be honest as I think his transfer was actually better with them on despite the heath visitors going on about how they’re not recommended

If I hear one more person tell me BFing is the most natural easy thing I think I’ll cry. He’s my first, and if I ever have another baby I hope it’s more straight forward than this

I can’t tell you about BFing, but my brother had tongue tie as a child. As soon as he was old enough, he asked for it to be cut. He said afterwards talking and eating was easier - so the baby will probably enjoy long term benefits. You’ve done the right thing.

(I know what you are going through, because DD2 has struggled for 4 months with BFing DGD. Half the midwives said DGD had tongue tie, while the other half said she didn’t. It was decided eventually DGD hadn’t, but she won’t feed in the daytime now and clusterfeeds at night)

Use the nipple shields, honestly. My second baby was also a useless patcher but could feed with these. Again., we discarded them later. They really do get a stronger neck and suck at about 4m.