Tips for surviving BFing a newborn?

[wanderingwillows]

My baby is 10 days old and feeding for hours and hours every day. Often up to 8 hours. I have a toddler too and finding this really difficult/exhausting having it all on me. My DH has started giving a bottle of expressed milk in the evening so that I can get at least 2/3 hours sleep before the nighttime chaos but honestly I’m finding it all so hard.
Does it get better? Any advice for getting through this? It’s such a constant physical demand I don’t know how people do it! But I really want to

I feel for you, it is SO HARD. But if you want to continue bf it's so worth jt. For me it got easier after 2 weeks, again at 4, and was mainly pretty easy from 6 weeks onwards. Basically, adjust your expectations way down and do the absolute bare minimum of everything other than feeding baby, resting, and spending time with toddler when you can (reading with toddler while feeding babg? sitting on a park bench feeding while toddler plays)
You can't safely do it hands free but learning to feed in a sling can be helpful.
Try and keep eating and drinking even when you don't feel like it. Treat yourself however you can. Find other bf mums to speak to for solidarity. You're doing amazingly!

I gave up at 8 weeks for this reason
Baby was feeding about every 45 mins as obviously not getting enough at a time
Best decision

Best decision *for me

My daughter saw a baby specialist cranial osteopath at about six weeks old. She was constantly feeling but clearly not getting enough. After her first session she then fed for three times the length of time and with greater gaps in between. If that was there anything like ventouse or forceps involved you might want to look at that.

on a practical level - keep a big insulated water bottle, snacks and some books (to read with toddler/colouring book and crayons or anything else they might be able to sit next to you and do toegther) within reach of wherever you tend to feed

First of all OP congratulations!! And secondly- YES it gets easier, so so much easier.

I breastfed my first baby and now breastfeeding my 2nd baby who is 6 months old. Breastfeeding at first is hard, cluster feeding, it feels relentless and it’s because your body is learning how to do this, how much it needs to make and when, and baby is learning how to feed as well! Baby being on the boob constantly is not a sign that they are not getting enough, it is literally how they “put their order in” and tell your body how much milk they will need the next day and what milk they essentially. As long as baby is gaining & having plenty of wet & dirty nappies you don’t need to worry about supply.

My top tips really are lots of snacks, huge bottles of water, and delegate everything else that you possibly can. The feeding gets quicker & quicker as they get better at it. As I say my son is 6 months old now and is never on the boob for more than 5 mins and has been like this for a good while now, his night feeds are slightly longer but that’s more for comfort than feeding.

Most people get through the hardest weeks of breastfeeding 6-8 and then stop just as it was about to get easy and it honestly does get so much easier. If you want to stick with it then do remember that, the hardest part is the first 6-8 weeks. After that it is much quicker and easier x

And also on the toddler point- mine have an 18 month age gap and my top tips would be:

• Have a few baskets of toys/random bits that only come out at feeding times so they stay exciting
• Set up a basic activity for open ended play the night before/at lunchtime to buy some time
• Stickerbooks, lots of stickerbooks😂
• Try to build your confidence with feeding anywhere from the start. My husband had 2 weeks paternity and from then I was just taking toddler & baby to the play groups/toddler classes, park/soft play etc, if your toddler is anything like mine she is easier to entertain out of the house!

Frequent feeding is normal. People will say "they're clearly not getting enough" but if they're having plenty of wet nappies and gaining weight then they ARE getting enough. Babies don't just feed to fill their tummies. They feed for entertainment, connection, a cuddle, thirst, comfort etc.

You might find it helpful to visit a local La Leche League or MOMA meeting for some reassurance and to see if you can get your baby feeding more efficiently but it WILL get easier regardless. Their tummies get bigger, they learn how to feed more efficiently, you find your rhythm, and it all settles down. I promise.

It is bloody gruelling OP and I'm only on my first. For me it was:

• using haakaa to collect letdown milk so DH could give expressed milk a couple times a week for first 6 weeks
• 6 weeks to 3 months after I'd built a good haakaa stash, DH gave our baby that at night and I got a good several hours sleep and pumped a good amount after, so kept up that cycle for a while.

Cosleeping safely! Safe seven and tbh DH wouldn't let me co sleep unsupervised even following those rules so he'd do his WFH hours at night while I co slept with our baby and he had us on the monitor on his desk so he could run up if he thought my arm had moved somewhere unsafe etc. I thought it was kind of overbearing but he was prob right and anything to get some sleep even broken!

Anecdotally I've noticed friends who bottle fed had a mostly easier newborn period then struggled more with broken sleep later on as they were usually not co sleeping and couldn't just boob the baby for everything so a lot harder work. All respect to them! But just to say it's not this binary breastfeeding is martyrdom and bottle feeding is easy narrative that I've sometimes heard.

Totally agree with the last part of this. I have yet to find a problem or winge that boob can’t solve😂

I have breastfed both mine, I have friends who have breastfed and friends who have bottle fed and I do think in the early days the bottles are easier but once you hit I would say 10 weeks+ of breastfeeding it is so much quicker and easier to get a boob out than to sort a bottle, and no cleaning/faff.

Those early days can feel really intense, especially with a toddler as well. I remember feeling like I was feeding constantly and wondering if it would ever settle.
It honestly does get easier. In the beginning they often cluster feed a lot, which can make the days feel endless.
The evening bottle so you can get a bit of sleep sounds like a really good idea. For me, just lowering expectations for a while helped, snacks, water nearby, and letting other things wait.
You’re only 10 days in and still both learning. It’s a lot, but it won’t feel this full-on forever

Thank you so much for the input everyone

The best thing for me was learning to feed lying down. I could sleep and baby would feed and then fall asleep. As they got older they would self latch whilst I continued to sleep