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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Am I completely bonkers for considering this?

7 replies

RosyappleA · 29/04/2026 23:54

I have a 19 month old and a 4 month old. I had the intention of tandem feeding the two of them, however, I found it impossible with a newborn who was feeding on demand constantly and a toddler who wanted to fight the baby of the breast which was all hers. Well to put it simply the last 4 months have been absolute hell. The toddler would cry for hours and she still cannot be soothed, even now 3 months after fully weaning she cries significantly and we really struggle to put her to sleep. I have tried everyrhing. Usually she cries to sleep or we walk around with her singing/ rubbing her back etc when she is tired until she falls asleep. She is okay during the day and has accepted her sister feeding and even shows affection towards her.
The problem is I am very guilty of having forced this upon her and seeing her like this is really taking a toll on me. Even through the pregnancy I feel she was dry nursing for comfort and didn’t get the health benefits of BF.

So I have a huge milk supply. Am I crazy to give in after all these months and let the toddler BF again, now she has accepted her sister, or is this the hormones and guilt and have I gone completely mad? Is it even beneficial for her at this point? Will she start wanting it all for herself again? What about expressing as I have so much just for the health benefits as I feel so guilty.?
Sorry for the long post the guilt is making me overthink and I really need to sleep.

OP posts:
SnozPoz · 30/04/2026 00:04

19 months is a good time to be weaned. Your milk supply will adjust to just what your baby needs. I think you'd be taking a backwards step to re-start breastfeeding your older child, who has accepted the new way of things.

mathanxiety · 30/04/2026 00:10

Move forward, not backwards.

Try to cut down the sleep shenanigans. Introduce a new routine - bath, bed, story, soft singing, brown noise/ piano sounds for sleeping; anything that isn't walking around and rubbing her back for hours - all done by dad.

mathanxiety · 30/04/2026 00:11

Donate your surplus milk to a milk bank. Call your nearest NICU or La Leche League to see how to do it.

Ileithyia · 30/04/2026 00:18

RosyappleA · 29/04/2026 23:54

I have a 19 month old and a 4 month old. I had the intention of tandem feeding the two of them, however, I found it impossible with a newborn who was feeding on demand constantly and a toddler who wanted to fight the baby of the breast which was all hers. Well to put it simply the last 4 months have been absolute hell. The toddler would cry for hours and she still cannot be soothed, even now 3 months after fully weaning she cries significantly and we really struggle to put her to sleep. I have tried everyrhing. Usually she cries to sleep or we walk around with her singing/ rubbing her back etc when she is tired until she falls asleep. She is okay during the day and has accepted her sister feeding and even shows affection towards her.
The problem is I am very guilty of having forced this upon her and seeing her like this is really taking a toll on me. Even through the pregnancy I feel she was dry nursing for comfort and didn’t get the health benefits of BF.

So I have a huge milk supply. Am I crazy to give in after all these months and let the toddler BF again, now she has accepted her sister, or is this the hormones and guilt and have I gone completely mad? Is it even beneficial for her at this point? Will she start wanting it all for herself again? What about expressing as I have so much just for the health benefits as I feel so guilty.?
Sorry for the long post the guilt is making me overthink and I really need to sleep.

You are not bonkers at all for considering this. If she’s still interested in nursing, and has accepted her baby sister it’s absolutely fine to let her try again. I’ve known several toddlers go back to nursing after breaks, some during pregnancy, or after a new baby is born. You can set boundaries, so it’s not overwhelming for you, either feed them together, or one to one, breastfeeding a toddler is about so much more than milk, it regulates emotions, provides comfort and connection, helps soothe illness and teething. It’s not a backwards step, if it will help her be more settled then it’s absolutely worth it, emotionally and immunologically. (If she has forgotten how to latch, then you can express and give her a cup instead.)

Am I completely bonkers for considering this?
Am I completely bonkers for considering this?
Am I completely bonkers for considering this?
TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 30/04/2026 00:21

I'd let the older one nurse again @RosyappleA
It will do you and her no harm at all.

Ohthatsabitshit · 30/04/2026 00:25

I wouldn’t over think it. If you’d both like it then do it.

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 30/04/2026 00:26

breast milk is good for any child
you could feed the big one at nap and bedtime
only
or express and bottle feed buy why do all this work?

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