Last chance for me I think

[Amberc]

I had my baby on Sunday night so he's 4.5 daysd old. He was a c section baby and was traumatised by the birth and we never did the initial skin to skin and the first latch on until the next day. So far I have had 4 MWs try to help me get him to latch on all dy long in hospital and now I am back home I am trying to do the practice they told me. We have had to feed him formula from a bottle as he will not latch on and will otherwise starve. I have given him expressed milk which he likes and have tried putting some of it on my nipples before trying to latch him on but he just licks or sucks that bit off and then screams. Please dos anyone have any advice because I think time is not on my side now and I will have to give up fairly soon. Thanks in advance.

can you speak to a breast feeding counsellor? try one of the helplines listed on the right of this page.

I can perhaps reassure you that ds didn't latch till 6 days (was tube fed before then) and couldn't stop him eating once he finally did! We did lots of skin to skin and expressing to help my milk come in, but in the end it was being shown how to latch him that worked. He has tongue tie (which none of the MW cared about), so we had to work hard on getting him to latch.

Congratulations on your baby boy! Its been a while for me but I did b/f all 3 of my kids with much perserverence. The first thing I would say to you is how important is it to you to do it? Your baby will be just great whatever way he gets his milk. I had a real thing about doing it (not an earth mother but just had to iykwim). I used a nipple sheild - many w/m don't agree with them but it was the only way I could get my first to latch on (he'd been bottle fed in scbu). After a while I managed to lose the shields once I had become more confident and he had mastered the art of my boobs instead. I still had to top him up with formula but at least he I was doing what I wanted to do. My other 2 kids were also very hard to get to latch on (wrong shaped boobs I kept being told!!!!). But again because I wanted to do it I kept going. I think I was told to maybe try to latch on when they weren't starving? So perhaps you could try after giving him a bit from a bottle (my youngest is 3 so I am out of touch) I don't know who said breastfeeding was natural because its bloody hard for alot of people! Good luck - you're making me feel broody now!

I am sure you have plenty of time to sort out feeding your son. Some mothers milk doesn't come in until day 4/5 !!!

My DD had a traumatic birth and was taken away from me at the start and no latch until the next day and we are still nursing 22 months later

Bump for the experts for more detailed advice (in particular Tiktok)

In the meantime hold your baby close skin to skin. Carry him in a sling with your top off or take him to bed for a few days and cuddle up 'babymooning'. Give him the choice of latching on to your breast as often as he wants.

Not sure how to reduce the formula feeds, I know it depends on how much you are feeding him in how many feeds ? But I'm sure someone will address that point.

Good Luck

Amberc - glad you're okay! We 'spoke' early hours of Sunday morning before you went to hosp.

If you want to carry on BF - strongly urge you to call a counsellor - NOW. I had a section and similar experience with contradictory midwives and a baby refusing to latch. Also this happened after a section and pain problems caused difficulties getting positioned. After section and anti-b's my baby was terribly sleepy and phlegmy too so none of this helped.

I too was pushed into a formula route early on and I think the problem is that bottle-feeding is 'easier' for the LO if they've not learnt to latch properly.

But if you get help now and are keen to persevere, under a week old is definitely not too late and there's plenty of stuff you can try to get things established.

A friend of mine recently got help and is doing fantastically with BF.

Hope you don't mind, just read your birth story. I truly empathise with how you are feeling.

It's all terribly emotional if your baby's gettting distressed too; I used to have to wait until my DD was full-on crying to get her to open mouth wide enough to feed. It was awful! But honestly - proper BF counsellors are much more qualified to help than midwives or HV's, they need to train for 5 years. If you're in London, there should be good availability too. Don't wait until after the weekend, they may even be able to give you a few tips on the phone until someone can come out to see you.

Oh bless you, I thought just the same as you at 4 days and rang a BF counsellor in tears because I thought it was all over for us. We had a traumatic birth too and Ds would not latch unless forced to by MW, which actually made the situation much worse by scaring him from the breast. This is what I did, on the advice of the counsellor:

1. Expressed every 3 hours round the clock for a few days, both sides, to get supply established
2. Fed DS by bottle but next to the breast, skin to skin, in a position akin to BF
3. Didn't get stressed when he would not feed, and NEVER forced him

I won't promise you it was easy because unfortunately I was also very ill and it caused a lot of problems, plus I was traumatised and had a few issues (understatement!). But even under those conditions my DS eventually latched on at 6-8 weeks. For most people it would have taken a tiny fraction of that time. Get some help from a BF counsellor on one of the helplines, don't let anyone attempt to force your DS onto your breast, and don't give up hope - there is every chance you will get there. Good luck

Thanks all for the kind words!