Need to stop breastfeeding for cancer treatment

[CamomileCream]

I found out in Friday that I have cancer. I will need surgery then radiation therapy. The radiation is not compatible with even being in the same room as my baby, never mind breastfeeding.
Baby is 8 months. He has 2 meals a day of finger food or purée/porridge. We can persuade him to take a bottle if he's hungry - he had to get better at this as I've had one surgery already to remove the bulk of the tumor.
I want to keep breastfeeding as long as possible but I'm aware that is what I want and I'm not sure what's best to do for baby. I don't have a timescale yet for the next surgery and radiation won't be till after. How quickly could I cut down breastfeeding if I had to? I can pump and dump after radiation if I have to but don't want to just cut baby off because it's going to be horrible for him that mummy has disappeared for an unknown length of time. I don't want him coming to see me if I can't even hold him. Do I push the solids? Cut down and swop to formula instead? I just don't know
Please excuse mistakes, baby asleep on lap and autocorrect thinks I'm discussing radiators - which in my upset state is actually vaguely funny

You've got so much going on you need to be kind to yourself right now. You could record your voice for baby to hear, maybe a lullaby for comfort. You might need something like that yourself.
Also, it's been a long time but I seem to remember freezing breastmilk - could you try that, up to the point you start treatment, to give you more options during the transition?

Hello, I was in a similar position but for different reasons. I'm sorry to hear you have been diagnosed with cancer. It must be so much to get your head around.

I was admitted into hospital when my daughter was 10 months and needed to stop breastfeeding as I had run out of medications that I could breastfed on.

I ended up stopping breastfeeding cold turkey as she was a bottle and food refuser. We tried to see if she would eat enough to not need milk in addition. It was extra complicated as she has a lot of food allergies and was on special formula and a restricted diet. I collapsed as breastfeeding had trashed my mental and physical health and baby was sent home to dad to try to figure it out. She went 26h without a feed although did accept formula in cereal enough to keep her hydrated. On the second day she had 2 5oz bottles at nursery and 2 more at home. After that she was on formula and thrived.

She was very slow to wean and was 20 months before she ate enough to not need the formula.

I expressed for the first week or so to slowly reduce my supply as I had had to stop without reducing breast feeds. The first 3 days I expressed at every feed, I wanted to make sure I had the option of going back to breastfeeding had she not taken the bottle. My team had another option but this would have been a buying time and hoping to stop any further deterioration whilst we tried to get her eating enough or taking the formula from a cup or sippy cup or something rather than a proper treatment plan.
The 3 days after that I expressed until my breasts when soft at each feed and then I expressed just for comfort for a week or so.

Just thinking a bit more about this. I have a friend that was on treatment for MS and couldn't breastfeed. She pumped and dumped on the days she has the medication and she built up a stash to cover the days when her medication meant that her breastmilk wasn't safe and then once it cleared her system she went back to breastfeeding and pumping ready for the next round of treatment.

It might be worth contacting your infant feeding team for advice. We were under dieticians because of my daughters allergies and there were nursery nurses on the ward I was on so I was guided by them. It was quite clear after a 2 day assessment that my daughter didn't eat anywhere near enough for her not to have formula unfortunately.

Is it realistic to drop a feed a week and substitute formula do you think? There's so much less advice on stopping!

Yes, swapping a feed a week sounds very realistic. I did about that when I moved from combi feeding to formula at the same age with DS (for return to work, not for health reasons). DS didn't eat much at the time, so needed his formula feeds until almost 14 months.

Maybe cut down to one or two breastfeeds now, and then you know that if you suddenly get a surgery date, it's not much more of a change to switch entirely if needed?

Thinking of you, this must be very hard.

Have you got access to any NHS breastfeeding peer supporters?

I think their training includes supporting stopping as well as getting feeding going. Theyre good for weaning support in my area definitely.

Cutting feeds down works well. You may well find a sippy cup or open cup or straw cup works better than a bottle as a swap.

Subbing the occasional bottle in doesn’t seem to work for many for older babies, but having more and less drink from cups as required seems to work for more (anecdotally from friends).

From your perspective, winding down rather than cold turkey seems physically more comfortable. Now feeding is established pumping single missed feeds isn’t necessary it seems, supply seems to modulate to demand (ish).

If you stop completely theres a hormone crash to be aware of. No changing it but at least knowing it’s that and transient can help navigate.

I don’t have any advice for your specific question, but sending heaps of empathy and I wanted to reassure you that although this issue of whether / how to stop feeding feels massive right now, that feeling will fade.

I had a sort of similar situation as I found out I had a brain tumour when I was seven months pregnant. I knew I’d need brain surgery - which would result in an extended stay in hospital - but didn’t know how long we’d be able to leave it. Baby was born and I breastfed her, but it turned out I’d have to have the surgery when she was five weeks.

I was devastated and spent so much time figuring out how I could try and keep my supply up while I was in hospital, how we could get her to take a bottle, how to stop her refusing the breast after weeks or months of bottle feeding etc etc. As it turned out, despite my best efforts, I was too ill to keep up my supply and when I came home when she was four months old she’d been on the bottle so long she was uninterested in going back to breastfeeding. Obviously this might not be your story, as your baby is older and you’ve established breastfeeding for much longer - but I wanted to reassure you that even if you can’t resume breastfeeding after your treatment, it will be ok. Although I still think breastfeeding is an amazing thing and wish I’d been able to feed my second daughter longer, I realise my health is more important.

Practically, in your situation, I think even though you don’t have a timescale for when you need to have stopped feeding, I’d start cutting down now. I think it’s better and less confusing for baby to avoid a sudden stop if possible. Also re not being able to hold baby - can you stay somewhere else during this time? I think it might be distressing for you both for them to be able to see you and you not hold them. I had to have surgery on my vocal cords a year or so after my daughter was born (it was a complication of my initial brain surgery) and had to be on total voice rest for a few days afterwards. I stayed at my mum’s as I thought it would be too confusing for her to see my there but me not being able to speak to her!

I wish you all the best for your health.

One of the things I found hardest about stopping was the feeling that it was beyond my control.

I felt like I was unable to make a good decision as I needed to stop but my daughter absolutely could not look at a bottle never mind drink from it. She also wouldn't accept a cup until 18 months.

Your whole world must feeling like it has been turned upside and actually this might be something you could have a say in and make the decision that now you can start introducing formula and how that might work/look.

You could couple it with increasing the care giving roles of your support network too. When I went into hospital my partner still wasn't one of her safe people so as well as figuring out the formula, he had to figure out getting her to nap and to sleep as well as comforting her in general. When I got out of hospital I then had to relearn comforting her as I no longer had breastfeeding. We quickly found that physical touch helped so I'd always make sure I had bare arms for her to stroke.

Something to be mindful of from a your wellbeing perspective you can get a crash of hormones when you stop breastfeeding and a more gradual decline might ease that for yourself as you deal with an emotionally challenging time.

Sorry for your situation that's so tough. I'd recommend you speak to a lactation consultant, either via health visiting service or if you can find a private one. It might be worth making a plan to cut down slowly so that when you do have to stop, it's easier for baby and on your body.

I was reading an article about maternity leave and cancer treatment earlier and they linked to an charity called mummy's star. Apparently they support women with cancer in pregnancy/post natally. I thought I'd mention in case it would be helpful, you might find other ladies that have had similar conundrums about breastfeeding and treatment