breastfeeding a toddler

[lucsnowe]

It's great to hear so many of you are still breastfeeding your toddlers. My 19month-old is still very keen on bf and I'm feeling increasingly awkward about this with friends/relatives and have found myself avoiding feeding in public. Can get a bit embarrassing when she grasps my breast! I love that I can still nurture and comfort her in this way, but do need reassurance I'm not strange or fulfilling some complicated needs of my own, as some suggest.

Not strange at all. I bf my 17 month old DS, but I only do it at home, because I can't be bothered in taking on other people's attitudes. He has a habit of shoving his arm down my top and saying yah? when we're out, but I don't think anyone really cares

Well, if your lo didn't want to carry on bfing, you certainly couldn't make her!
Good on you. The longer you are able and happy to bf, the better. in most countries it is 'normal' to bf well into early childhood. If you are both happy, thne carry on as long as yo ulike.

Btw, I only managed 2 weeks bfing due to lack of support and ds, nearly 2, still grabs my breasts, lol!

LOL
breastfeeding is great but I am sure we can all think of other things we would rather be getting on with
it's bizarre when people suggest it is for you

it's fine to teach bfing etiguette at this age and only feed in certain places where you feel comfortable, if that's what you prefer
if however you can convince yourself it is normal and fine to do it, you will show others that children this age can also benefit from bfing and that it's ok not to wean at a set age if you don't want to

gecko is nearly 17 months now and loves to bf still

she now tries to help herself lol

I have decided to keep doing WHEREVER I am and hope that people will become more tolerant and even begin to see it as normal....I wish

TR - aren't you in Scotland? If you are the law protects you until Gecko is 2 (Hello btw - have you seen my scary news?? )

I am also getting a bit shy about feeding ds in public (he is a bit older than TR's dd3) but as Franny says, it's fine to teac bf-ing etiquette and ds knows that he's not to help himself in public. He has to ask ("mickies"!) or sign for it and then he can have it! He very rarely does ask for it now though, too much going on!

I think you need to feel safe about feeding in public. Can you get yourself into a situation (Baby Cafe/LLL/NCT meeting?) where you're completely safe from negative comments, and then whenever you feel shy in public put yourself in that "safe place" in your head!

Sorry, i'm not explaining myself very well! I did find, though, that sometimes i was making an issue where there wasn't one, and that the only person who was worried about feeding ds in public was me!!

Thanks everyone for your reassurance- definitely fuels my self-confidence and conviction I'm doing the right thing! You're right about teaching breast-feeding etiquette and also about how often I'm the only one making an issue out of feeding in public. Another thing I heard that I wonder about though- am I delaying the development of my daughter's own immune system, because while bf she's getting immunity from me?

with dd1 I gently encouraged her not to feed in public after a certain age. she finished about three and a bit.
with dd2 I just don't care and she still feeds whenever she wants.
she is quite the most contented and delightfully self assured child you could possibly imagine.
here is the look I have cultivated for feeding in public. please feel free to borrow it:

Harpsichordcarrier-that's good to know! So how old is dd2 now? and at what age did dd1 actually stop breastfeeding in private?

God no. You are not delaying their immunity and whatever crap Clare Byam Cook has recently spouted.

It doesn't work like that. A child will still be exposed to a gazillion varieties of viruses and bacteria whether bfing or not and they will all get ill from some of them.

The difference is that the ones who are still bfing will be ill for shorter periods of times and with less severity than their non-bfing peers.

No child, irrespective of whether they are bfing or not, will have a fully developed immune system till they are older than 5.

That woman needs her head examined. [allegedly]

How did she get a midwife's qualification without being able to grasp this basic piece of human biology?

Well she only practised midwifery between 1979 - 1985 - allegedly. And the training did not include anything about breastfeeding apparently. It is not clear whether she breastfed her children or not , neither does it seem that she has had any training in breastfeeding - despite claiming to be an expert and charging new mothers £120 (last checked) an hour for her 'advice'.
Just my 2p.

Dd2 is nearly 3 now and I am feeling more edgy about bf in public. Particularly as she has been known to say, not necessarily quietly, "I want milk. FROM YA NIPPLES!"

lol tooticky. ds 2.5 occasionally offers me his chest if I'm upset, asking "want mummy's milk?"

Aaaaaah
Ds2 (6) occasionally offers dd2 one of his nipples if I am busy.

I'd be really interested to know how those of you who are still bf your toddlers get on at night? Do your lovely ones still wake up much at night? Do you feed? If so- in bed with you, or on a chair, and then do you put them back in their cots? My daughter wakes up frequently and usually spends the night in bed with me from midnight onwards. Much as I have tried to break this, it's v. difficult to stick to resolutions at 3am- much easier to offer the quick and efficient comfort that she's demanding. I'm not sure how much she is or isn't feeding at night, as I feed lying down..

i am bfing a 3 yo who stopped asking for a 'reuniting feed' at nursery at 2.5yo. I fed her occasionally in public till around then - always when she asked. I would rather have a barny with someone over feeding her in public rather than tell her no. It was only when it was inconvenient to me that I made her wait.

She bf and coslept full time till she was a 2yr 10 mo. As you said, it is easier to give in at 3am than to put her off. We stopped night feeding just short of 3yo as I was about 7 wks pg and getting very tired. When I used to try to night wean her, she would just go into instant melt down and I had given up attempts to do that long before she night weaned. When i finally did night wean her, it was v. v. easy. I suspect that in the interim she was ready for it for a while. I had come to terms with letting her night feed as I noticed that right before she showed symptoms of an illness, she fed more than usual at night so I felt sure that it was a healthy thing to continue.

Oh, less than 2 wks after night weaning she announced that she wanted to sleep in her own room. and she was gone. as easy as that - but I still feed or feed then cuddle her to sleep. I think it is a natural thing. She only feeds 2x a day now. Bedtime and wakeup time.

I'm still feeding at 2.5 years, feeding etiquette can be developed slowly, it seemed to develop naturally, distraction or saying to your daughter that you feed only in certain places like the sofa or bedroom or nanas may help as does calling feeding time something that people wouldn't recognise necessarily. Simply taking their hands out of your top when they are delving and saying no in a minute also works.

I still co-sleep with my nearly 3yo dd2. She feeds to get to sleep, sometimes feeds during the night, but more usually sleeps through until 6ish, then feeds and dozes.

That's good to hear-sounds very much like our situation, particularly the early morning feeding and dosing. I'd just love to know how much milk my daughter is actually taking. Does your 3yo dd2 have much breakfast? My daughter has hardly any.

Yes, she usually eats fairly well in the mornings.

I'm still bfing my 28 month old. He is still in with us at night but we take an anyway up cup of milk with us to bed as well. Usually he doesn't wake. When he does it is easy to settle him as he just feeds a bit from me then has loads from the cup then a bit more from me which sends him back to sleep.