The last HURDLE weaning my 2 year old off the boob

[justtryingherbest]

My daughter has been EBF up until 6 months obviously when we introduced solids etc. we’ve made a lot of progress in regards to weaning her off the boob as it has been a challenge. She’s fully weaned in the day, never asks for milk now at all even when she’s tired or has hurt herself she just comes for a cuddle which I never thought would happen!

I found this hard but easier to do because I could distract and offer snacks/water

i am just finding nighttime really impossible to the point I think I might get some professional advice 😂

her dad and I are no longer together so I can’t have his help at night doing the wakes

she screams bloody murder if I don’t offer her milk when she wakes. She’ll get so distressed it breaks my heart I find it so difficult

but we’re so close and it’s 1 less thing to crack! She has started staying at her dads and she does fall asleep on her own easily (same at nursery) so she can do it!!

help!!!

Bumping for you as in the same position and could do with some advice myself!

First of all I want to say it’s a massive achievement to feed until age 2. It will have been a massive physical and emotional benefit for her.

There is really good evidence based advice on weaning a toddler on the Kelly Mom site and she is an IBCLC level lactation consultant.

There is also a small book called “everybody weans” which has advice on night time weaning for bf toddlers. I found this really useful.

https://www.lllc.ca/weaning

Without wanting to sound dismissive- you just give yourself permission to stop and upu give her the right to make herself heard while sharing her disagreement with your decision. Both are valid.

You have every right to choose to stop- have conviction. And she will need to share how she feels about it. Allow that of course, but be firm in your choice. Stay calm and kind when she screams. Grit your teeth and get through it.

Honestly I think it models good bodily autonomy- 'I don't want to feed you at night anymore' so we will be stopping. I am here for cuddles. I'm sorry you will be upset, but I wont change my mind. Tonight is the last night for milk, after that no more milk at night time. I will be there to help you if you need'.

And just stop.

Probably best on a Friday night as no work for a few days.

This is how I did both of mine- they were younger and still fed during day. It was 2 nights of upset- second night much less. Its good for them to learn to have upset and then get through it.

"You just give yourself permission to stop"

I think this is exactly what I needed to read right now.

have you explored why you want to stop? And whether there is an alternative approach?
I say this as someone who bf until 4yo. The early morning being the last one to go.

between 2 & 4 it tailed off quite naturally. Similar to you daytime disappeared first. But for a while nighttime needs increased. It was exhausting around 2 - 2 1/2yo.

it was less about needing food and more about needing comfort and attachment.

my 2yo boy would get into bed with me, or I would get into his, around 2 or 3am. I got him a double bed to make this easier.

eventually he stayed in his own bed and his need for me got later and later. Until at 3yo it was intermittent mornings and the odd bedtime story and bf.

part time co sleeping helped with the sleep for sure.

what I am saying is, you can go cold turkey and just wear lots of tops and say Mummy’s breasts are asleep and only wake up at 7am. But. As a single mum this could be an exhausting route forward.

the path of least resistance is never offer never refuse. And to know this too shall pass and one day you will realise that it’s over and you will struggle too remember the last nursing session!!

also - do you have a friend or relative you can leave her with for a long weekend? (At least 3 nights). This sped us up to the finish when my daughter was around 3yo. I don’t know if it would work with a 2yo but is a painless way (for you anyway) to manage it.

needs to be someone who will love her and cuddle her back to sleep and give her a small warm bottle of milk if she really needs it.

they can also report back what times she woke, what she needed and how long she was awake.

good luck. It is a hard time when they need us more than ever as they learn about independence. Hope you have someone to take care of you occasionally?.

Btw there are some good books aimed at toddlers about weaning. LLL used to have a list on their website. Will see if I can find it for you.

List for toddlers is towards the bottom of this page
https://lllcollective.org.uk/when-breastfeeding-keeps-going/