breastfeeding number two

[mousie]

i am about to have my second baby (first is 21 months old). I am getting increasingly worried about how I am going to physically manage to breastfeed the new babe and keep my daughter under control at the same time. Found breastfeeding hard last time - needed peace, quiet and relaxation for any success. Just can't envisage how I can feed a baby and keep a toddler well behaved for half hour plus at same time - esp early morning feed. Help, any suggestions?? My only real thought is to stockpile tellytubby videos..

A friend bought her 1st child a special breastfeeding toy and he was only allowed to play with it when she was feeding her second child.

DS1 was 24 months when DS2 arrived and he behaved like an angel. I don't remember any problems with keeping him amused whilst I fed. It helped that DS2 was a quick feeder though.

You may find you manage to develop the skill to read a book to your toddler whilst feeding the baby - it's a useful skill to learn!

Good luck

Had a friend who had a b/f'ing box for her dd1,filled with little toys/dolls/goodies that they only got out when dd2 was being fed. She'd change the things now and again and put in surprises. My dd1 loved to change/feed her dolly when I was feeding dd2, she'd been given a dolly changing bag as a present and used it alot. I also used to feed dd2 her bedtime feed whilst dd1 carried on playing in the bath. HTH, try not to worry second ones soon learn to get what they can when they can and are often (have to be)more laid back.

Mousie- don't worry! I feel that I failed miserably with bf my ds1. Had to be absolutely quiet, no distractions etc and he still wouldnt get down to the business in hand. ds2 has been the complete opposite. He's just had to fit in with everything going on around him. I used to feed ds2 at 6.45am so would be finished by the time that ds1 woke up at 7.30am. DS1 was happily occupied with toys while I fed ds2, and often just liked to watch. He found it fascinating, even at 18mo!! He would sometimes join me on the sofa for a story while ds2 was guzzling, and would even swop sides when ds2 swopped boobs. The last feed of the day was occasionally frantic, but like Batey, I kept ds1 playing in the bath whilst I sat on the floor alongside and bf ds2. The worst times have been during illness, mainly ds1 as he then couldnt tolerate seeing any closeness between me and ds2, and would often try to pull ds2 off my lap to get on instead. Videos have been invaluable at solving this one. HTH and hope all goes well for your 2nds arrival.

Have to admit, videos were my lifesaver. First couple of weeks I thought I was doing really well, running round, feeding everywhere, (while sitting on the floor playing, building Brio railways, settling in at nursery etc. etc.) ... then found dd wasn't putting on any weight because I was trying to do too much and as a result not producing enough milk. It was noticeable how my supply increased when I actually rested. So we had endless videos and books, plus feeding at mealtimes, which was a nice time too. And as long as you're sitting there, watching the video and discussing it with them, you're still sharing an activity and spending time with them, which they enjoy. You might need to expand the range from Teletubbies, though, or you'll drive yourself insane! My ds was really into Captain Pugwash and the theme tune made my dd smile for months after - she obviously associated it with nice times feeding!

Can't offer you any advice Mousie, but I wish you lots of luck and I'd be interested to hear how you get on. Hope all goes well with the birth of No 2 - when are you due? There will be a 21 month gap between my dd and new baby (due mid April) and I could have written your post.
Wishing you all the best

Message withdrawn

I had my ds when dd was 24 months (well, 3 days before her birthday!) and I too had a breastfeeding box. I made up a shoebox with some crayons and a little notebook, some snacks (mini weetabix!), a drink, and the remains of the Christmas cards (they are Feb babies) which she was fascinated with. At the end of each feed I would restock the food & drink.
As ds got a wee bit older and so did she, she would toddle off and do things on her own. I too relied on telly a bit (it was a special bf treat) and getting dh to get up with dd while I stayed in bed and fed ds. Once I had the feeding established I found I could easily read a story at the same time as feeding. A friend of mine used to get her dd to 'keep the baby's feet warm' while she was feeding, which worked well for her.
try to make feeding time special for you all, and it will be fine. I also found that No2 was an easier baby, better feeder etc, aminly because he had no option!!

Mousie - another one to give you words of encouragment! BF may (and probably will be) easier this time. You may have (like some of us) a much better and faster feeder. DS took 40 minutes, DD* took 6! Also when BF you have 1 hand free which you do not have when bottle feeding... so give it a try - see if it is better (which is likely)... hope it works out!

• Mine have a 20 months age gap.

have just logged on and read all the advice - so grateful to have so much input, makes me tearful which can only mean hormones are up again, oh god... but thank you all anyway! breastfeeding box sounds like an excellent idea and I am just praying for an easier baby this time round...

Mousie, I too am thinking about this (no. 2 due early April) so this is a good thread you started! The breastfeeding box sounds an excellent idea, just hope I remember to fill up the snacks and change around some of the toys!
I will probably let daughter watch a video too so we can all settle down together. For the sake of your sanity (!) do investigate something other than Teletubbies. Maisy has been a firm favourite with mine since just before she was 2 and you can get the ones of 'Maisy's ABC's' etc which made me feel a bit better about her watching telly. Massaging the baby's feet sounds lovely too, mine loves creams etc so if I gave her some lotion to rub in I'm sure she'd be absorbed for the whole feed.
Good luck and let us know how it goes.j

HI Mousie, my second ds is 4 months and his older brother is now 26 months. I thought breast feeding would be an absolute nightmare, but it wasn't at all. Ds2 got used to lots more noise and being poked and so on from the start, so he feeds whatever is going on. And Ds1 doesn't seem to mind as long as there is a video to watch or games to play along with me (like singing or sorting out his farm animals)The only problem I find is at bedtime. Ds2 goes earlier (around 7) and if I am alone in the house, its quite difficult to have those few moments of peace to settle him down without Ds1 wanting to jump on the bed or Ds2 or me). Still, videos normally do the trick (others to try -- Maisy, Bob the Builder, Barney, Sesame Street) and if all else fails I bring ds2 into ds1's room when I put him to bed and they both normally go to sleep. HTH Lorien

OOOh yes, Maisy, also my dd loves Bear In The Big Blue House, Winnie the Pooh and Bagpuss! Filling up the box became kind of second nature after a while, and it has now metamophosed into an 'emergency box' when you have been in all day on a ghastly rainy day and you are all going stir crazy!

I have a 23 month gap. I became adept at feeding newborn with a toddler crawling all over me. Heck, I can change a nappy, answer the phone or cook tea while feeding a newborn.

It helps if you have a suitable breastfeeding sling... but to be honest, I think our arms are much stronger after 1st child and so carrying one kid in one arm is a lot easier.

My 2nd is a more efficient feeder. I think that one's breasts also tend to let down more & faster after the 2nd baby, which could explain why baby2 has always been a quick feeder.

I've been worrying about this subject too as I'm due in July & will also have a 25mth old to occupy. ATM he's doing everything he shouldn't - like he loves hearing me chant 'stop it, leave it etc... As loveable as he is, even at 18mths, he's hard to distract & is a v determined child.

If I can't occupy ds successfully while feeding baby, I thought of taking ds & baby into ds bedroom & doing feeding there, sitting by the door so ds can't get past me & get into mischief. BTW, if anyone's tried this already & it didn't work, please let me know - thanks!

Did it on the awful mad days - just let dd bounce on our bed while I fed - worked a treat!!

Its awful, I hadn't even thought about how I would cope wioth my ds when #2 arrives at the end of March, so have taken on the advice. I think I will think of myself as a sucess if I pass the two week mark of solely bf, as with ds. Felt there was alot of pressure to bottlefeed, from hv, to mil. This time miles away from everyone, so going to do what I want!