Hideous pain but can't stand another bout with BFC

[turtle23]

DS is 11 weeks and I have struggled through with the breastfeeding despite all kinds of horribleness. His latch was fine at the beginning, he had nasty cold at 7 weeks and we either fed lying down or he just haqd a bit of a funny latch from then on. Can't get him to feed "correctly" and til today it didn't hurt so didn't care. Had visit to BF counsellor two weeks ago o try and correct it which left me hysterically crying and ready to quit. I can't do it right. He just wont stay on properly. My right nipple is so sore today I just want to scream when he comes near it, and he keeps stopping, pulling on it and smiling at me. He's so cute but ooooowwwww it's sore. How am I going to fix this when my local BFC referred me for counselling last time as I got that upset when I couldn't do it? Do I just express til it's beter? Do I feed through while tying to correct? Sorry for rambling, just so stressed.

Thanks Jammi.
BTW-It's getting him to keep the really wide mouth that's a struggle. He starts out ok then clamps down over nipple. I try and try to break it and reposition, all that happens is he screams for ages then gets too upset to eat. It's exhausting.

I have had problems breastfeeding all my three - DD1 never latched on at all, DS was fine but I found the pain and bleeding horrendous and only lasted about three months and have just had DD2 and only did it for a couple of weeks. I went down all the BF counselling routes available the first time - I was so incredibly upset by the whole experience. But you know what - my girl is very bright, very robust and the first person in the family with no allergies, no skin problems - and the next two are the same. It made the decision easier this time, but still not without tears and feelings of failure. If you want to persevere I imagine it does click into place and you'll be glad you did, but in my opinion it's not worth the kind of stress you're describing. More than anything a happy household is what will give your baby a good start. I am now so pleased to have made the decision and feel for us it was absolutely the right one. But it is very personal, and there will always be people who make you feel you've done the wrong thing which is tough when it's such an emotive subject. By the way - I don't agree with the bonding/intimacy argument against bottle feeding - unless you plan to do it with the bottle tied to a pole. You are snuggled up just as much AND have the bonus of you and your little one gazing at each other - I love the eye contact. Love it!

We are lucky to be able to use formula if breastfeeding doesn't work for whatever reason - and you've done so well already. One of the worst things is all the pressure surrounding the whole thing - do what is right for you and your mental health and love your baby to bits. Good luck with whatever you decide to do and don't feel it's giving up if you go the bottle route - it's just one of the many many tough decisions we all make trying to give our children the best life in the happiest home we can. In a few months you'll be able load him up with broccoli and blueberries and feel great about his healthy diet!

turtle...there are other breastfeeding counsellors available...none of the volunteer ones are in a position to 'refer you for counselling' so I am assuming you saw someone who was employed by the PCT? If you think this sort of support (knowledgeable observation of the positioning and attachment) can help, then try to find someone else.

You say 'I can't do it right'. You don't have to. It's the baby who latches on Enabling him to do so, with positions that allow him to get on without you doing much at all, will help.

nipple shields in the meantime?

I'm on no 3 now, and they have all latched slightly differently!! they have different shaped mouths, and they can't read the books which tell them how they are supposed to do it "correctly!" If it was working ok for you before but is sore now, might be worth checking you haven't got thrush or anything. For what it's worth, my lot got better as their mouths got bigger- don't know if that helps!! I'm no expert, but if your ds has been feeding, content and gaining weight, and you haven't had any pain up till now, don't really understand why BFC was trying to "correct" your latch- could it be that that is the right latch for him, even if not textbook? Obviously the pain now adds a new dimension. Is he feeding very often?? If he is playing with your poor nipples like this could it be that he is not actually hungry at that point in time? My ds seemed to need to feed surprisingly infrequently compared to my first two. I kept dutifully putting him on every few hours and he behaved just as you described if he wasn't that fussed about it! Since he is a chubby wee chunkster, I just went with it.

If I was you, I would look at his feeding pattern and check you don't have thrush etc. Get some cream on those poor nips, maybe express and get a bit of breathing space (would also allow you to see how hungry he actually is, if he was taking it from the bottle) Hope it works out for you!

How do you know if you have thrush? Area around nipple is red in perfect circle around it. Few red spots...is that what this is? LO had oral thrush in the beginning and I didn't get red really, just shooting pains. Hmm.

What is PCT, tiktok? I went to local BF clinic referred by HV.

Tiktok was talking about the Primary Care TRust - in other wotrds, a NHS breastfeeding worker. It might be that you just didn't get on with her way of helping. Many many breastfeeding helpers are volunteers, who have been feeding mums themselves and have had training to help other mums. It might be that contacting one of them might help you; they might have a different way of explaining/helping that suits you and your baby better.

I'm rubbish at links, but I googled thrush when Breastfeeding" and got a few sites with info- seems like red/ itchy nipples, shoting pains, pain at latching on are common. And in babies tey can have white patches in their mouth and/or be fussing when trying to feed- might be worth seeing a doc/ HV/ BFC to rule it out???

Am thinking maybe that's what's going on. i have randm letdowns all day long and am constantly soaking pads and not always able to change them immediately. Apparntly this (and being v prone to vag thrush) can do it...LO has no white in mouth though. Anyone think I should dollop on the canesten tonight before seeing HV at the clinic tomorrow?

Please excuse typos. Laptop keys stick

Is that how they treat it? Sorry, I'm not sure Does sound like it could be a possibility, and if they usually treat it with canasten and it won't do any harm might be worth a try. I think you need to treat baby too. I just had a look and found lots of interesting "natural remedies" out there, especially if you are prone to thrush- might be worth a look, sorry I am such a techno-dunce I can't do links!!

Turtle, if you have thrush you need a cream for you and a cream or drops for baby's mouth. Be careful of putting cream on your nipples - remember that your baby will taste it and swallow some, so you need to be sure it is safe for him. It is probably wise to wait for a proper prescription for thrush in the breast. AFAIK Canistan is for vaginal thrush?

When he had oral thrush at 6 days I was prescribed canesten cream. Will take us to dr today.

I had nipple thrush, but ds never showed signs of it either.

When you have to take your ds off the breast, to keep him calm before you re-latch, let him suck on your little finger (with the pad of the finger touching the roof of his mouth). Hopefully this will help with his frustration before you put him on again.

I know this is probably really bad advice, but have you tried just pulling his chin down when he's latched on so he gets a bigger mouthful? I did this and it worked a treat for me.