Weaning difficulties

[MrsOptimism]

my baby girl is almost 11 months and we’ve introduced solids from 5 months (had to start slightly early due to higher allergies risk) and it’s been a very difficult journey with hardly any improvement.
I know they said food before one is just for fun but she’s going to be one next month and starting nursery in April and we’ve barely progressed.
the difficulties I’m having is that she’s never like formula or even breast milk from a bottle so she will only feed directly from me.
she loves to play with food but it all goes in her month, stays in there for a bit but she then slides it all back out so not much is actually being consumed.
she refuses to be spoon fed so we’ve had to go down the route of baby led weaning with finger foods.
I originally hoped I would be able to ease off of breastfeeding when she’s one but I can’t see how that’s possible if she won’t take a bottle or eat food and not sure how to tackle nursery like this.

has anybody had similar experiences or tips that I could try?
thanks!

Is she still breastfeeding a lot? She may just not be that hungry so starting to reduce feeds could give her more of an appetite for food.

She may eat just fine at nursery too. Lots of kids eat loads and a big variety at nursery, but will be picky at home.

Normally in order to eat they need to reduce the amount of milk they are having or they won’t be hungry, speak to your breastfeeding adviser they will be able to help you.

I agree that she may take to solids more at nursery. Will nursery provide meals?

I continued breastfeeding DS after I returned to work when he was one. I was really worried about it, but it worked well feeding in the morning and after work. I sometimes had to pump in a designated room at the office when my breasts became engorged, but my supply quickly adjusted. I really didn’t need to worry about that transition.

@Idontspeakgermansorry @Skybluepinky
Yes she does still feed a lot, I didn’t think of that. I’ll have to try cutting back to see if that encourages her to eat more food, if I can distract her from always wanting to feed!

@mayflowers9Yes the nursery provide meals so I’m hoping that it may prompt her to eat a bit more, especially if she’s around other toddlers getting stuck in. It might normalise it a bit more, especially if she can’t see me there as a visible alternative option

That's great! I think, like you say, being around other kids enjoying their food and without the option of breastmilk will really help.

Wheb does she start Nursery @MrsOptimism?

All of this sounds pretty normal. If you’ve got a DH/DP you can start to get her to realise that solids can sate her himger as well as BM.

So start to either send them out together for 2 or 3 hours with some water and food or go out for a few hours and leave them at home. Start doing this regularly so she gets used to it.

I wouldn’t personally bother getting her used to a bottle now. If you’re going out you could leave some EBM.

BF babies rake in average 25 Floz in 24 hours so if she drinks 2 to 3 Floz that is a full feed.

Once she reaches 12 months you can start some gentle night weaning which should increase her appetite in the day

If you’re feeding as frequently as for a younger baby then that’s why she doesn’t want food. If you drank a lot of milk especially not long before meals then you wouldn’t be hungry either. She’ll be feeding from you maybe once a day (or none at all) once she starts nursery so it’s good to cut down to this now.

Lots of BFing Mums feed first thing, on pick up and before bed.

Once they reach 12 months you can also start to offer food before a feed.

@SleafordSodsThanks, this link is really useful, I’ll definitely try this as it’s really difficult knowing the best way to ease off the night feeds with some of the ‘colder’ methods I’ve seen. I know they work for some but it just doesn’t work for me personally

@SleafordSodsI’ll also start leaving her for a few hours with DH to get her used to that before she starts nursery in April so that it’s not a big shock to her at that time

The gentler methods suit us better too as a family.

Definitely start to leave them together. Get your hair cut, go to the gym, arrange shopping or lunch with friends. It will do you good. It will also help her realise that other people can look after her and provide nutrition and it will help her and DH to form a closer bond

Leave her and DH with matching cups and snacks, and don’t do a big breastfeed just before you go out.

At some point the wanting to match daddy thing will kick in and copy.

If that’s cheese sticks sitting on the sofa, or sharing a tub of ice cream or a lolly so be it.

Swallowing food is something that seems to ‘click’ at some point. As does food helping with hunger.

Also, they’re really good at copying others so starting nursery may be a breakthrough week.

@ScaryM0nsterI just told DH about this and he’s excited to try this. I am hoping nursery helps everything fall into place but definitely going to try these helpful suggestions in the meantime to prepare for it as much as possible. This has been really helpful, thanks!

@MrsOptimism, hope it works.

As some tips:

• drop the expectations, it probably won’t work first time.
• abandon all thoughts of balanced diet, baby suitable foods etc. stay away from whole grapes and gobstoppers. But beyond outright hazards roll with anything that piques interest. If the breakthrough comes while the two of them are in greggs with a sausage roll and a bottle of lemonade, that’s still a success. The range can be widened later.

@ScaryM0nster
so refreshing to hear! Thank you!

When i went to a weaning workshop via the local children's hospital we were advised to offer solids 20 mins before you would normally offer a feed.

Agree that peer pressure at nursery will help encourage her. If you aren't already sitting down to eat a meal together at least once a day then can you try that? They love copying.

I disagree that you should aim for a narrow range of foods. She may not take everything but you should continue to offer a range of tastes and textures and colours, and keep offering food she has rejected alongside food she likes - they take a while to get on board witb some things. Mine took ages with basic stuff like toast, cheese and eggs but enjoyed (pureed at first) baby chicken curry and haggis.

@MulledjuiceI’ll need to try the solids 20 minutes before because that’s where I’m going wrong I think. I was previously told not to try the solids of she’s too hungry as it could put her off more if she’s frustrated but I think I’ve got the balance wrong and I’m still breastfeeding too close to solids so she’s not hungry enough so maybe the 20 minute tip will help.

DH and I all eat round the table at meal times with her which she seems to enjoy and fortunately she tends to get stuck into whatever we put in front of her, which is encouraging…despite not actually swallowing it! I think puréed food is better for her as it’s easier to swallow but she doesn’t let us feed her with a spoon and she can’t use a spoon effectively herself so it just ends up with her playing and getting messy in it rather than eating it

It's ok if she can't use a spoon yet, it's ok to let her try and make a mess (spoon/hands/whatever). It is frustrating but playing with food is how they learn.

It's also worth giving her something big enough to gnaw on without being a choking - strip of steak, mango stone, Solid Starts app is pretty good.

Hi I came across this page and this post as my 12 month old has almost same experience as your child, I am really confused and exhausted. Is your child now eating as expected? And what did you do that made the change happen.. Thank you xx

Hi mums, I’m really struggling and would love advice from anyone who has experienced something similar. 😭

My 12-month-old refuses to eat from a spoon. He gags or acts like he’ll vomit, which started after I had to give him medicine with a spoon at around 6 months. He also doesn’t eat enough when feeding himself, although he’s only recently started picking up foods like apple.

At the moment, he mainly has Cerelac/porridge through a bottle because it’s the only way he’ll take it. I know this isn’t recommended at his age, but I’m worried about removing the bottle when he isn’t eating enough by himself.

I’ve tried finger foods, different textures, pre-loaded spoons, letting him explore food, eating with him and not forcing him. I spoke to my GP about feeding support, but they said it was behavioural and wouldn’t refer him.

Has anyone had a baby who refused spoons and didn’t eat enough independently? Did they eventually grow out of it, and how did you transition from bottles to normal meals? I’d really appreciate practical advice and reassurance. ❤️

@QueenFyafaHi! I can say since I sent the original post we’ve definitely had a significant improvement but it is still a continuing issue. From 14 months she just suddenly became really excited at dinner time and to sit round the table rather than fighting it. She just started eating and swallowing. We still have the issue of no spoons, although some very random times she will try something from a spoon but just as a one off rather than being g able to simply feed her a whole mean or porridge etc from a spoon- that still doesn’t happen. So it’s finger foods and self feeding all the way. She’s still very particular on what she’ll eat so if it’s pasta, she’ll eat lots of it…I mean lots! She’ll eat rice and potatoes as well. She refused meat for a long time but more recently in the last few weeks (she’s just turned 18 months) she’ll eat, chicken, lamb, beef. No veg really, apart from sweetcorn or cucumber during the hot days, no fruit, no eggs.

basically I didn’t do anything in particular. She just decided when she was ready to eat more. Deposit how fussy she is, I continue to put a balanced meal of all food on her plate and expect the waste. I’ll just ensure there enough of the parts that she does like so that she can fill herself up as much as possible. The food along isn’t really enough so I’m still breastfeeding a little but that has reduced significantly. Hopefully I can give better news in a few months!

@MrsOptimism Wow that’s great improvement! I’m so happy her eating has gotten better, hopefully my little one will come around soon, cause at the moment I can’t get him to eat anything himself, he won’t let me spoon feed him and he needs more nutrients other than milk. It’s not an easy journey but I’ll keep trying. Kudos to you, you’re doing a fab job and thank you for taking your time to reply me! All the best to you and your little one xx

@QueenFyafa First off, so sorry for all of the typing errors in the last message! I had my LO hanging off my arm while I was typing so wasn’t able to proof read it before posting! I hope it was all understandable!

I know the whole ordeal can be quite stressful and it still worries me now, despite her improvements as it’s still not amazing but just a lot better than before. Just hang in there, your little one will get there and then we’ll both be complaining that they don’t stop eating and we can’t fill them up 😄

at the time, so many people said ‘one day, she will just eat’ and that’s literally what happened at 14 months. I’m sure one day she will ‘just eat more’ or ‘suddenly use a spoon’ too.

good luck xx

@MrsOptimism Please don’t worry at all, I completely understood you! 😂 Thank you so much for taking the time to reply, especially with your little one hanging off your arm.

Honestly, I really needed to hear this. It’s so reassuring hearing from someone who has actually been through it and seen things improve. I’m just going to try and be patient and take the pressure off myself a little.

Hopefully one day he’ll just surprise me and start eating more and using his spoon! 😂❤️ And yes, hopefully we’ll both be complaining that they eat us out of house and home! 😂