10 month old refusing bedtime feed

[AnIncandescentGlow]

My baby is currently teething, he has 2 erupting atm. For the last few nights he's been refusing his bedtime milk. He's breastfed. At first, he was latching on as normal, then gagging on each breast. I offered him water in his straw cup the first night instead, which he took happily. Same happened the last couple of nights. Tonight, he didn't even latch, just wanted water.

Other than this, he breastfeeds 3 times a day fine. Is this likely teething related or could he be weaning off his milk already?

I'll be calling the health visitor team to ask about it on Monday, but I wondered if anyone has had the same thing? Is it okay that I'm just giving him water at night? I don't really pump, so dont have much expressed milk in the freezer. He does have 3 meals a day and eats well.

My sister weaned herself completely at that age. She's still with us 42 years later, so seems to have managed alright without it!

I can understand your sadness at the 'End of an era' feeling though. Is he going to be your last?

I'm back at work so pump anyway. I kept offering, but I got quite sore. There were one or two nights where I pumped in desperation. He would normally feed in the middle of the night when sleepy, especially after some paracetamol.

That made me smile ☺️ I know I'm probably coming off a bit dramatic! But you know when you just worry? He's got the signs of his first molar coming, bless him. I think he still wants his milk, but it's hurting him, so he's refusing. That's what my gut is telling me.

Yes, I think he will be my first and last. We struggled to conceive and post partum has been very hard on my mental health. So I really want to do my best by him as it's more than likely the only time I'll get to. ❤️

I think it's particularly hard when you know it's the last time. That babyhood phase passes so quickly. but there are perks to them growing up too. It will be so sweet when he can talk to you and bring you special treasures he finds, and be the one who initiates hugs and reaches to hold your hand as he toddles along - there's so much to look forward to even if your nursing journey is coming to an end. To ease the transition there's no reason why you can't still snuggle without a top on, reading to him or whatever before bed, even if he chooses not to suckle.

If you express at all you could make some little breast milk lollies? He might not consume much of the milk that way but they'll be soothing on his gums and just playing with one is a sensory activity he might enjoy.

That's lovely, thank you. ☺️

It's a nice idea, it would take me ages to probably pump enough for one lolly 🤦🏻‍♀️ the doctor thinks he could be weaning off, but also thinks he can see a molar under the surface of his gum. He said I could offer formula to replace the dropped feeds, but we're doubtful if he'll take it. He also said I should just up his dairy and give cows milk to drink if he rejects the formula.

I'm still a little sad and I just know if he drinks the formula I'm going to feel a bit of a failure. 🤦🏻‍♀️ Stupid I know. He's still having his morning feed, so I'm really hoping that stays until the year mark.

It's horrible to feel that way. 😞You know you've done amazingly to keep nursing for so long don't you? Supposedly only 1 in 200 mothers in the UK are still breastfeeding at 10 months! You're not a failure, not in the least.

If you're able to express even a tiny bit you can add it to his mashed potatoes or cheese sauces or porridge, so he's still getting some of the nutrients. But if you can't that's ok too! He will be just fine with formula!

Another tip to ease the transition is to have a small comfort toy or muslin (ideally 2 so you can rotate them) that you wear in your bra when he doesn't have it. It sounds weird but it'll smell like you when cuddles with it and be a gentle connection to your nursing of him.

All this said, when that pesky tooth erupts he might even go back on the breast no problem! Just take it as it comes and try to be accepting of the change. The next chapter is also wonderful!

@SnugglyJumpersMakeItBetter That's so kind of you, thank you. And some lovely suggestions too. 💕 I think I'm accepting it might be nearing the end now. I suppose I should count myself lucky, he's making it easier for me in the long run!

How are you a failure if you are following your Baby’s lead? You are being an intuitive responsive Mum. He may increase again, nursing strikes aren’t uncommon.

How amazing that you’ve made it this far. Well done you 👏

@RandomMess Oh thank you, it's so kind of you to say. 💕 I suppose I felt like if he accepted some formula in the day while rejecting the breastmilk, it must not be good enough for him anymore! I know it's daft.
He's breastfed twice the last few days and has good, wet nappies. So looks he's regulating it and as you say, I just need to follow his lead.

Thank you again for your comment 💕