Breastfeeding comments

[GreyLemur]

I'm proud that my 8 month old is ebf, through mastitis, blocked ducts, a biting phase, etc.

Baby is not sleeping well at all, and will only be fed to sleep for naps and at night. I'm having some comments from family that this is because he's ebf. I should fill him up with formula before bed (he's not eating solids too well) and move away from contact naps and feeding to sleep.

I disagree and love our feeding journey, so just looking for some encouraging comments and experiences!

Just ignore them. You do you.

Your baby, your boobs, none of their fucking business. Of course you don’t give him formula if breastfeeding is going well for both of you. You’ve done brilliantly and should carry on as long as you both want to! DD stopped at 3.9 and DS at 2.5. No one ever said a critical word about it but I come from a breastfeeding family and nearly everyone I know breastfeeds.

As you know they’re critical I wouldn’t discuss sleep with them as you’ll only give them ammunition.

What ridiculous things to say. I know many babies who were end and were great sleepers and bottle fed babies who weren’t.

Dont listen. Babies don’t always follow a sleep schedule thats easy.

It’s not really any of their business but are you complaining to them a lot about a lack of sleep? Because it may sound like you want help/advice, and they might not realise you just need to vent on occasion! They’re not totally wrong because if baby did take a bottle then Dad could do more overnight or Grandma could babysit and you could get more sleep. And also a lot of sleep consultants, books etc. will recommend stopping feeding to sleep as the first step to improving sleep. So even though that’s not for you perhaps they think they’re being helpful? Maybe best if you keep the sleep chat to a minimum and to make it really clear you’re not looking for advice.

I have said my breastfeeding is a non-negotiable so any more advice they want to give about helping baby sleep better can't involve anything to do with feeding.

Tbf to them they have seen me struggling badly over Christmas with exhaustion and unable to shake an illness because I'm awake half the night!

@BitzeeYes you've hit the nail on the head here. DH and grandparents really want to help but can't as much as they want to.

Your baby, your boobs, your decision. If they are seeing you struggle then maybe they are just suggesting anything they can think of. If it’s any help, my EBF, contacting napping and co-sleeping baby has started sleeping til 4am most nights now, quick cuddle and back to sleep, and naps in the cot. Shes 14 months. Never changed anything!

Cutting night feeds shouldn’t be done under 12 months anyway, and it’s no guarantee of longer sleep stretches.

Just ignore them. Honestly I used to get so annoyed about unsolicited advice/comments, but now I just ignore them it’s a lot easier. You do what is right for you.

At that stage, I got my DH and grandparents to help with practical things like shopping, cooking, cleaning, taking baby for naps in the pram so I could have a break. There’s lots you can get help with. Oh and cleaning up after baby’s meals!

Ahhh ignore them! I miss nursing mine. Eldest nursed to 2y11m, there was 4m of tandem nursing and my youngest stopped at 2y2m when I had an operation - the heavy meds meant I couldn't feed for 24hrs and then little one was quite happy and didn't ask again after that. I wasn't ready but little one clearly was! Cherish it.

DH and grandparents can help in other ways and still have such wonderful strong bonds!

Do you feed when lying down in bed? Baby falls asleep and you can fall asleep too for maximum rest. Breast sleeping is the way.

Mum feeds then Dad takes over to settle. Or Grandma has baby in the morning so Mum can have a lie in. There are loads of ways that you can have help without stopping breastfeeding. Especially as an eight month old can be fed breakfast in the morning so you can go back to sleep.

I've had two ebf babies. DS didn't sleep well. DD sleeps like a dream and is eight months (although we co sleep which the Grandparents do not approve of!). It's not the breastfeeding. Babies are just different and you don't need advice you just need practical support so you can rest.

At 8 months DS very nearly broke me with his 'sleep' patterns - what he needed was to learn to self-soothe at bedtime and when he woke himself up by being more mobile in his sleep, not formula. He stopped night feeds well before 12 months though, and stopped breastfeeding altogether by 18 months (probably because I was back at work). Stick to what you know's good for your baby, you're doing brilliantly.

Both DH and grandparents have a wonderful bond with baby. DH does the cooking and majority of house jobs and grandparents have him a lot (for 4 hours max). We stayed at theirs an extra night this Xmas just so my mum could get up at 6am and have baby whilst we went back to sleep, so I'm very lucky in that sense.

I think they are just suggesting anything they can think of. I guess I'm just super sensitive and prickly about the ones to do with breastfeeding!

It’s really hard, isn’t it? You are exhausted, you are doing your upmost best, and you still get critised… what a lovely combination! 😒
my oldest DD is 15 now, I’ve breastfed her for 18 months. The amount of sh*t that I got from people was unreal!!! Constantly on it, asking me questions, telling me that I should sleep and I make myself exhausted, etc… you know what? That was the best time in my life.