Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

EBF baby return to work

38 replies

GreyLemur · 21/12/2025 19:35

My 8 month old is ebf, won't take a bottle but will have some expressed milk out of a straw cup. He still bf every 2 hours for both milk and comfort. Not swallowing much when offering solids yet.

I return to work in 4 months and my mum will have him 1 day, nursery 2 days. I only leave him for 4 hours max at the moment with my mum and never in the evening as he will only be bf to sleep.

DH and my mum are saying I need to start building up leaving him for longer as going cold turkey in April won't work. Looking for experiences of others who left ebf baby at 12 months to return to work?

OP posts:
fashionqueen0123 · 21/12/2025 19:38

I work in feeding support. Please don’t worry. Firstly it’s ages off - it’s half his whole life again!
forget about bottles. Cups are fine. He’ll be eating more solids by then. You can feed before and after work. He will be ok with water and food while you’re away but you can always pump and send some expressed milk in if you wish. Or he could have some cows milk.

Leaving him for max 4 hours now is perfectly normal. I was the same with mine at that age. You’re doing a great job!

Mt563 · 21/12/2025 19:39

At 12 months, they won't be feeding every 2h and already don't need to do you can try to drop that slowly.

I went back at 10 months with a EBF but she was eating well. She never took a bottle, she fed well just before nursery, as soon as I picked her up and before bed.

Superscientist · 21/12/2025 19:59

I had a bottle refusing ebf 8 months old, by 11 month she was almost solely formula fed by bottle on barely any food and by 13 months she was finally on 3 meals a day.. A lot can change on 4 months!

10GreenBottle · 21/12/2025 20:04

I agree with PP, a lot will change between now and then, ultimately they will be fine, nursery have settled many babies in, yours will also get there! My boy was very similar to yours, now takes himself off for a nap at nursery at 18 months but will still only feed to sleep at home.

I would recommend having a look at Lucy Webber IBCLC and her return to work webinar, that really helped me to feel prepared for going back and took a lot of the anxiety away for me.

MaJoady · 21/12/2025 20:05

Look at how your baby was four months ago and how much she's changed. It's an age away I promise!

No need to start building up now, that's nonsense

OakleyStreetisnotinChelsea · 21/12/2025 20:10

4 months is a long, long time away for your baby. He will change so much in that time. It's easy to say and harder to do but honestly, don't worry. When the time comes your baby will eat food and drink sips of water when you are not there and breastfeed when you are. It sounds like he is already building up a lovely relationship with your mum by being looked after by her for periods of time which will already greatly help the transition.

You may need to express for your own comfort at work so may you can then give that expressed milk to your mum or nursery tomorrow to your baby but don't be surprised if he doesn't take it, he doesn't need to so don't worry about pushing it. You can always use it for breakfasts.

OakleyStreetisnotinChelsea · 21/12/2025 20:10

4 months is a long, long time away for your baby. He will change so much in that time. It's easy to say and harder to do but honestly, don't worry. When the time comes your baby will eat food and drink sips of water when you are not there and breastfeed when you are. It sounds like he is already building up a lovely relationship with your mum by being looked after by her for periods of time which will already greatly help the transition.

You may need to express for your own comfort at work so may you can then give that expressed milk to your mum or nursery tomorrow to your baby but don't be surprised if he doesn't take it, he doesn't need to so don't worry about pushing it. You can always use it for breakfasts.

espresso14 · 21/12/2025 20:10

You don't need to start building up time away now, you make the most of the time with your beautiful baby. I returned to work both times at 8 months, when they were both still breastfeeding and they didn't have a lot of solids. Neither took a bottle.

They adapted fine, straight away. They just eat more solids when you are away. Also, the breastfeeding is of course more complicated than food, if they can't smell you or see you, they can accept other food. Going back to work wasn't the end of breastfeeding for me, I ended up until 2 years (worked part time), and it was me that was more than ready to stop by then!

Original poster
GreyLemur · 21/12/2025 20:16

@10GreenBottleThank you for the recommendation for the webinar. I love things like that so will definitely watch!

OP posts:
Original poster
GreyLemur · 21/12/2025 20:17

@espresso14You're so right, I'm worrying about something far in the future and it's making me feel like I'm doing something wrong now, but I really should be enjoying now! I just feel mat leave is flying by so quickly it will be April before I know it!

OP posts:
Original poster
GreyLemur · 21/12/2025 20:18

@fashionqueen0123Thank you. Good to know that sounds normal. I don't know many other mums who are ebf so don't have a sounding board for this particular issue!

OP posts:
Original poster
GreyLemur · 21/12/2025 20:19

@OakleyStreetisnotinChelseaThank you. Yes, they have a wonderful relationship and is absolutely fine being left with her apart from when he wants the boob!

OP posts:
VikaOlson · 21/12/2025 20:22

I wouldn't worry about milk until the month before you go back to work.

If you can start letting your mum and DH settle him for naps sometimes now, it will make settling into nursery a lot easier for your baby.

Original poster
GreyLemur · 21/12/2025 20:22

@Mt563He had reduced to every 3 hours but he's picked back up again to being able to last 2 hours max. Maybe growing?

OP posts:
museumum · 21/12/2025 20:23

I had to leave my ebf bottle refuser at 6mo for half days for work (I have my own business which couldn’t go any longer without me). It was fine. Two things - one was to teach him to drink from a cup. He chose the free flowing tommee tippee and mastered it in a couple of weeks. (I started with water in it till less was being spilled.)
I also gave him lots of finger food. Not sure if you’re will be the same but mine was a bit of a control freak and would feed himself fine (and drink from a cup once he could hold it) but not accept anybody feeding him or putting a bottle in his mouth.

Original poster
GreyLemur · 21/12/2025 20:25

@VikaOlsonA slightly separate issue that he will only fall asleep in the pram, car seat or being breastfed. He screams the house down and arches his back if DH tries to rock him back to sleep at night, but we're working on that too...

OP posts:
Original poster
GreyLemur · 21/12/2025 20:28

@museumumHe will drink out of both an open cup and a straw cup really well already which has meant I can leave him for at least 1 feed with my mum. He'll put finger food to his mouth and I think he actually swallowed a bit of cheese this evening which is the best we've done so far 😂

OP posts:
VikaOlson · 21/12/2025 20:28

GreyLemur · 21/12/2025 20:25

@VikaOlsonA slightly separate issue that he will only fall asleep in the pram, car seat or being breastfed. He screams the house down and arches his back if DH tries to rock him back to sleep at night, but we're working on that too...

He will probably scream the nursery down too but they will persevere and get him sleeping in a cot.

You can make the transition easier by giving him sleep props now that he will be able to take to nursery for the transition - if you are the only sleep prop and you aren't there, it will be stressful. Anything like dummies, muslins or comforters you can introduce now (snuggle between you when you feed him to sleep) that he can take with him, and ask nursery if they play any music or white noise at sleep times that you can replicate at home.

anonuser8917 · 21/12/2025 20:29

He'll be absolutely fine & you don't need to start the separation any earlier than you want too.

I went back at 9 months on my first, EBF bottle refuser baby. They adjusted no problem. Second was 12 months & didn't need any milk during the day, even though they were getting milk at home with me at lunch time still. Adjusted just fine.

There's a huge developmental leap around 9-10 months that helped sleep for both of mine too.

& Once he's better on solids everything will change again. If you want to work on anything, maybe stop breastfeeding 1-2 hours before meal times, to work on his swallow to hunger connection. It'll grow in time - my first didn't take off on solids until a year.

anonuser8917 · 21/12/2025 20:32

Also to add, most childcare settings do 2-3 weeks of settling in before they start. My childminder raised an eyebrow when I did 4 weeks the second time - 4 months is a huge chunk of time for it!

winnerwinnertofudinner · 21/12/2025 20:34

This is literally me, I go back to work in April and was so worried because although BF has been going well, I've been struggling to express milk.

We've reduced feeds a bit since implementing a more structured nap schedule, and she now feeds after breakfast, before her two naps in the day, with dinner and then before bed. I found offering milk after solids really helped her eating, and now I'm less worried about her being hungry without BF as often.

I'm pretty confident we'll be able to stretch the daytime feeds a bit more before April and she should be OK. And if not - if it has to be formula or cows milk in a cup, then so be it!

fashionqueen0123 · 21/12/2025 20:37

GreyLemur · 21/12/2025 20:18

@fashionqueen0123Thank you. Good to know that sounds normal. I don't know many other mums who are ebf so don't have a sounding board for this particular issue!

Totally normal :) I’d really recommend calling the national breastfeeding helpline for a sounding board for things like this too!

also the Facebook group feeding older babies and beyond :)

ShesTheAlbatross · 21/12/2025 20:38

4 months is 50% of his life at this point. He’ll charge massively! My DD was fine - she just didn’t feed during the day. But I kept breastfeeding her first thing in the morning and last thing at night until she was over 2.

ShesTheAlbatross · 21/12/2025 20:38

4 months is 50% of his life at this point. He’ll charge massively! My DD was fine - she just didn’t feed during the day. But I kept breastfeeding her first thing in the morning and last thing at night until she was over 2.

ShesTheAlbatross · 21/12/2025 20:38

4 months is 50% of his life at this point. He’ll charge massively! My DD was fine - she just didn’t feed during the day. But I kept breastfeeding her first thing in the morning and last thing at night until she was over 2.