How to stop breastfeeding - Day 7

[tralallala]

I’ve been breastfeeding for 7 days.

My nipple pain is horrendous. I’ve tried getting the latch right. I can’t get it right. I’m so fed up. My nipples are all cracked - I’ve been using the nipple cream religiously and also Nip cups to try and fix them, but I’m still in a lot of pain feeding.

I’m going to stop breastfeeding. My boobs are definitely full of milk and hurt if baby hasn’t fed in a few hours etc.

How can I stop breastfeeding/reduce the milk without my boobs feeling like they’re about to explode?

Hi!

Congratulations on the birth of your baby, sounds like you’re having a really tricky time at the moment. When a baby isn’t latching well, nipple pain can be excruciating and the damage can be terrible too. Thankfully, nipples heal very quickly generally, hydrogel dressings can be an absolute gamechanger - you can buy them in boots or from Amazon!

im wondering whether you’ve reached out to anyone for support to help with latching? And what positions you’ve tried and whether any have been more comfortable? there are so many charities who are available to support day/night/weekends if you wanted to reach out to anyone. I can remember dreading nights when breastfeeding wasn’t going well… long, tiring, painful nights feeling so alone and upset, with an unhappy baby too. But reaching out to a breastfeeding counsellor would help me get on the right track and help me feel less alone, especially as night time approached.

how’s your baby’s weight gain and nappy output?

if stopping breastfeeding is what you want to do, you’ll need to continue to remove milk so that you are just comfortable (keeping your breasts feeling a bit full will tell your body to reduce how much milk to make). Use bags of frozen veg, wrapped in a tea towel, on your breasts as much as possible to help reduce inflammation as well as ibuprofen and you could also try lymphatic drainage (which is basically gentle strokes from nipple to armpits, and gentle movement of the breast) to help drain away excess fluid within the breast, nothing hard or aggressive as this will make inflammation and engorgement worse.

another option might be to express your milk and offer this to your baby (with a bottle, or finger feeding) to give yourself a break… it can be a mental battle when you’re having a hard time establishing g breastfeeding. But know that you aren’t alone and that many other mums have been in a similar position and have been able to turn things around with the right support (if that’s what they wanted) and many others have made the decision to stop (again if that’s what they wanted).

thinking of you!

I think you might be at the worst point.
if you can do it for 10 days that’s the worst of it over. People tell you it’s easy but it’s not.
Youre tired and so sore.
Has baby been checked for a tongue tie?

Anyone who told you breastfeeding isn't bloody painful the first couple of weeks was lying. I had 4 babies and it bloody hurt every time, cracked and bleeding nipples very common. However if you are able to bear it you both do get the hang of it - once your nipples have been leatherised! By 6 weeks it's generally a breeze.

I had great pain too at your point, OP. Have you tried cabbage leaves in your bra? (I'm not joking about this.). Get some Savoy cabbage leaves, roll them so they break a bit, stuff them in your bra.

I just gritted my teeth, cried, and determined to continue. We went to six months in the end.

Oh yes, as a PP says, I also expressed after the morning feed. So the late night feed was from a Haberman feeder bottle, not my boobs.

Agreed cabbage leaves do help. Also your nipples shouldn’t be sore as your baby shoukd take a very big mouthful of breast and thr nipple will be in the middle and baby shouldn’t be sucking on them. Think about how big a year is on a bottle - thats to try and mimic the breast.

I have been where you have been and it is really hard but it does get a lot easier.

You've done an amazing thing feeding your baby for 7 days. I never had any pain like this when I breastfed. It sounds very difficult.

I also stopped breastfeeding my second son at 7 days. On the advice of my nurse, or midwife, or whoever it is that comes out, I just strapped them in and didn't touch them. They were bloody enormous and very sore for a week - she advised to express very small amounts the first couple of days, but mainly just not touch them at all, and then they get the message and stop producing milk.

You've got to watch out for signs of blocked ducts/infection but I didn't have any problems. It did hurt for a few days then they were mainly huge and like rocks, and they just went down.

Good luck with whatever you decide, OP.

Thanks all!

I haven’t reached out to anyone except my midwife. She was fab to be fair & I managed to get the latch ok a few times with her there. Whenever I get the latch right, my baby will suck for maybe 20 seconds that way & then will change position so that she’s literally just sucking my nipple.

She hardly lost any weight when weighed and she is pooing constantly in her nappies, so I guess she’s getting enough etc.

Haven’t had her checked for tongue tie, but perhaps should?

I just feel like I can’t continue like this. I had a c section and the pain from that has completely gone, but the pain in my nipples is insane and my boobs being big before a feed etc hurt and I just want to be out of pain. I was really ill the whole pregnancy and I just want my body back. I just want to feel totally well again.

At the same time, the guilt of not being able to breastfeed successfully has really upset me. I tried with my other 2 for a little bit and this time round thought I’d really give it a good go. I feel like such a failure.

Thanks so much for the advice and sorry to ramble on!! I’m just so torn about what to do, but I just can’t see this being resolved.

If you want to stop, I think gradually cutting down feeds or expressing a little to relieve the pressure is the way. I was in so much pain from BF, and my baby also kept adjusting back to a poor latch. I was in toe curling pain for about 6 weeks and then it gets better. For us, I think it was just that her mouth started to get bigger and naturally a better latch came, but also my nipples were like steal by that point.

Yes I didn't know "toe curling" pain was an actual thing until my daughter. She had a tongue tie, but one that was harder to spot/diagnose. I was lucky, we went back to hospital on day 3 as she'd vomited blood (my blood as it happened, from my nipples 🫣) and just as I was about to leave their tongue tie specialist arrived on shift, popped by to take a look at DD's tongue, and carried out the correction procedure about 10 mins later. I'd definitely get your little one assessed by a tongue tie specialist, if you can! Where you said you were positioning your little girl correctly, but then she adjusts herself to sucking right on your nipple is very familiar with both my kids (suspect DS had an undiagnosed TT and we used shields until 12wk). With DD having the tie cut made an immediate difference. Good luck, hang in there x

If the baby is moving after latch, it maybe because they are relaxing when feeding and dropping off a bit. Try laying back yourself when feeding, so the babies head doesn't fall backwards in the feed.
if you got ahead and stop breastfeeding, you'd be fine just to stop and express a tiny bit to relieve pressure when boobs are too full.

Morning!

you’ve made it through another night, I always felt relief when morning came around… it’s so hard, we live in a society where breastfeeding isn’t the norm and we’re told that breastfeeding is best and other such things but often aren’t given the information or support to succeed. You aren’t failing, you’re being failed. Your baby is so lucky to have you and every drop of breast of milk you’ve given them is a precious gift.

it’s really reassuring that your baby has barely lost and weight and is doing lots of poos, like you’ve said these are signs she is getting plenty of milk.

you can ask your midwife or HV for a referral to have your baby checked for a tongue tie and you can also go privately. you might have to kick up quite a fuss if your baby is generally doing well in terms of weight gain (even though trashed nipples should be taken very seriously). It might be useful to rule TT out but there are things you can try in the meantime whilst you wait that could help your little one latch on more effectively.

like others have said, you’re really in the pits at the moment, having engorged breasts (which is very common at this stage) and a mum and baby who are learning what they’re doing often results in nipple pain and damage. And the pain can be excruciating. It’s also common for things to get much better quickly and with minor adjustments.

it'll really help you to get on top of the swelling and engorgement - both in terms of your comfort and baby’s ability to get a bit mouthful of breast which should also address pain and allow any damage to heal.

to help manage engorgement this is the most recent protocol:

1. ice/cold veg to breasts (possibly 4 packets of cold veg in the freezer so you can cycle two on your breasts and two in the freezer)
2. feed as you and baby need to
3. ibuprofen
4. lymphatic drainage

https://www.carolsmyth.co.uk/breastfeeding-resources/posts/2020/april/mastitis-blocked-ducts-how-do-i-clear-a-blockage/

you should feel more comfortable quickly and your engorgement should subside a lot within 24 hours or so.

if you need to breastfeed when your breasts are full and hard you can try and do some lymphatic drainage before you feed and also try a technique called reverse pressure softening… both of these things will help to remove excess fluid from your breast/nipple which can help baby getting a big mouthful of breast.

https://laleche.org.uk/positioning-attachment/

One trick that could be worth trying is called the flipple technique (or exaggerated latch technique), it’s basically rolling your nipple into baby’s mouth which can often get a deeper latch (I found this helpful with a TT baby):

i know lots of mums who have found this article useful:

https://laleche.org.uk/comfortable-breastfeeding/

one person once said to me “don’t stop on a hard day”…

lots of mummas are rooting for you!

if want one to one support I’m a breastfeeding counsellor with La Leche League GB…

This article is also really useful:

physicianguidetobreastfeeding.org/maternal-concerns/nipples/

Lots of great advice and support on this thread, but I just want to add that it's ok if you don't want to power through or work it out or keep pushing. It's absolutely fine to stop breastfeeding. I empathize at that feeling of "failure" - there is a lot of pressure to breastfeed. But a fed baby and a happy, healthy, rested mammy is the most important thing. Your baby will be absolutely fine either way. You don't have to "give to a good go" if you don't want to. Try to let go of guilt and pressure as much as you can while you decide how you want to go forwards from here.

Thanks so much for the advice everyone.

I’ve gave her a bottle of formula in the night last night as she’s insatiable. I know that’s normal cluster feeding etc, but I dread feeds all day and night.

I’m still (perhaps stupidly) clinging on to the hope that my boobs might magically fix themselves and harden so I won’t feel the pain anymore, but I think I’m being unrealistic.

I just need to decide one way or the other and get on with it. I know I’ll feel sad and really upset when my milk dries up if I give up as I’ve put in so much effort. But I also know the sadness won’t last forever. I keep crying when I think about giving up, but I really don’t think I can do this long term

As well as all the advice above, how about trying to express for a few days to give your nipples a break - with the right pump it’ll be easier on them than a baby with a poor latch.
Then while you’re doing that get your DD checked for tongue tie, pay privately to have it shipped if you can and need to.
It is such an emotional time and expressing at least gives you the option to go back to breastfeeding if you want to.
I had terrible pain with both my DDs, latch was perfect but it just hurts some people more than others, it did actually just suddenly improve after a couple of weeks with religious nipple cream application.

I had my second in September and he had a very clear tongue tie identified in the delivery room. Every single feed was painful. We had the tongue tie cut at day 8 and the difference was fairly quick. Within a day or so feeding wasn't painful at all and he latched really well. I have a fast letdown and sometimes this stops him latching as well and I have to take him off, calm down the flow and the relatch him
I think my daughter had a slightly tongue tie that got missed. We had feeding issues where she had a poor latch on the edge of the nipple. It only hurt me when we had long cluster feeding sessions. It improved dramatically when I went dairy and soya free and had her reflux adequately treated.

I would contact your infant feeding team and get an assessment of the feeding and see where you go from there. Babies just need food and cuddles to thrive they can get both regardless of the method of food. I would see if there is something simple that could make a difference but also if it's painful and you don't want to continue that's ok too. I breastfeed, tried to combi feed and then formula fed my daughter. All you can do is try to make the most sensible decision for you and your baby in that moment in time. It was right for me to breastfeed but with time it was then also right for me to stop and make the move to formula

If, and only if, you feel you might want to try BFing a bit longer, I found that nipple shields really helped me until my boobs got more used to it.

Plus I expressed in the morning, and fed that in a bottle at night.

Breastfeeding really shouldn’t be this painful, it isn’t a rite of passage to go through and expect your boobs to toughen up. Definitely seek skilled help from someone specialising in this. Your midiwgevor health visitor should be able to signpost you to a breastfeeding support group near you, or the breastfeeding helpline is a phone line operating 24/7. The most qualified people are IBCLCs and you can search for nearest one to you (or tell us area and we can look for you, I know it’s exhausting with newborn)

don’t underestimate the emotional impact of all this though. “Breastfeeding Psychology” if you Google or instagram can be supportive

I found the pain absolutely unbearable and couldn’t continue either. I did continue doing morning and evening for about 5 weeks with number 2 and that wasn’t so bad because my nipples didn’t get so sore and she was pretty efficient.

Hey OP it sounds really tough.
But I urge you to speak to someone on the phone or in person at a breastfeeding group just once before you give up completely. You are in the tricky bit but you could be out the other side really soon with a little bit of help!