OK so I've had my first neg comment about bfing 16mo and didn't deal well with it

[AnybodyHomeMcFly]

DS has a feed first thing in the morning and at bedtime. it suits both of us and I see no reason to stop. But yesterday I went to the dentist and needed antibiotics.

She said "You're not breastfeeding are you" And I said "Well yes I am a bit at bedtime". She said "ok I will give you antibiotic X instead of Y". So far so fine.

But then she said "Speaking as a mother, how are you going to stop that? You're going to have to get your husband to put him to bed for a few nights or something".

Obviously what I should have said was it suits us and we see no reason to stop. What I actually did was to go red and say "Well it's er not a problem, er he takes a bottle when we go away for the weekend so it doesn't tie us down."

Feel I have failed to stick up for toddler bfing!

Very on your behalf. It is none of her business!

Those bedtime snuggly feeds are lovely aren't they? And first thing in the morning. I don't get up til 7am or later. Dh "delivers" little dd2 and lies her down next to me, I just lift my pj top up and go back to sleep. If one of us had to get up for a bottle at 5/6am it would be much harder.

It's very hard to deal with negative comments and I've never really said what I truly wanted to say in spite of b/feeding three children for two years each!

But don't worry about it, her mind was already made up anyway by the sounds of it and the most important thing is that you are doing a truly wonderful thing for your child.

ds2 is 16 months and we get the full range of comments from a loaded, ooh aren't you doing well, to, really, why, he doesn't need it, it must be for you as he's your last baby and you don't want him to grow up.

It's so annoying and even more annoying when you come away feeling like you didn't give a good response. Let it go, or if you can't maybe drop a note in or ring up and say that in hindsight, you wish you'd told her it's none of her business and you were there for help with your fillings not your feeding. Then maybe change dentist.

If she's stood there over you poised with the drill, you can be forgiven for feeling ever so slightly intimidated!

The dentist was showing her ignorance - her question assumed that bf goes on until the mother stops it. Not so. She also assumed you wanted to stop. Why should you - it is little trouble at this stage for valuable benefits.

Yes, that question of "for whose benefit?" when toddler bf is very irritating. I was v v glad to be still bf when my ds had a nasty gastric bug at age 20 months or so. He was floppy, keeping nothing down and 40 degrees for several days. Breastmilk was the first food he could keep down when he started to get better.

It's amazing how many health professionals seem to be opposed to breastfeeding after even 6 months.
I agree with Guadalupe's suggestions.
And if it happens again then you'll feel more prepared next time.

Yeah I know. Thing is I am totally fine in myself about bfing and why I am doing it so I am quite that I was so embarrassed and unassertive when "challenged". I guess I just didn't expect it.

it has been so useful at times when they are ill I agree. Also when he needed to have blood test the other day, I fed him during it and he just gave the nurse a dirty look and carried on. They thought it was hilarious.

And I agree EW - DS was in hospital with pneumonia at 13 mo - I was so glad to be still bfing then as the poor love was v distressed and it calmed him down a treat.

Should have said, I breastfed DS1 till 2 ish and am feedong DS2 who is 13 months, and yet I still feel a bit defensive if people ask questions like this.
I never really worked out how best to respond in these circumstances.

I have just experienced the flip side to this! I have had a really bad back since DD2 was born (Dec 06), having had SPD whilst pregnant. After endless physios, I was finally referred to a post-natal physio who confirmed that the back problems were due to continuing SPD. As I am still breastfeeding, I am still releasing relaxin, so the ligaments haven't 'healed'.

I was bracing myself for the 'for the good of your back' speech (another veiled lecture ). But no! she encouraged me to continue, saying that when I do decide to stop it will take up to 6 months for the ligaments to heal and then I'll be fine. she was fulsome in her support for continuing BF!

I wish I'd had a tape recorder, so that I could play her little speech back to all the nay-sayers I encounter. It really makes me . I continue to BF for me, for my child, and for a little extra sleep while she feeds in the early hours

And your dentist has an opinion on your breastfeeding because...?

There is a great book about bf toddlers. Can't remember what it's called.

In the affluent west we tend to wean ridiculously early, compared to the rest of the world, where the average age of weaning is (I think) about 4 years. So those of us who bf a toddler are nearer to the world norm.

Also, bottle fed infants often still have a bottle at night for years and cannot be parted from their dummies/pacifiers for even longer.

THat's encouraging babypowder, good for your physio.