Do I have to stop breastfeeding?

[LR21]

I will try to be concise but essentially don’t have any family or friends who have ever been in my position to ask so hoping for some advice!

My youngest child has just turned 10 month and is breastfed, she has never taken a bottle or dummy and doesn’t really take milk from a cup. She does great with solids. I am due back to work soon so started a little early trying to wean her off breast milk because I work 12 hour shifts and need to be able to leave her. She has done amazing and is now down to 1 feed in the morning and 1 before bed (sometimes will have one in the night but I try to rock her to sleep first to gradually cut this out). Basically one health visitor told me I needed to pick a date before my return to work and go cold turkey with breastfeeding, another said I don’t have to stop, she will just have to have a late bedtime (830pm) and I’ll feed her when I get home. This won’t work too well for us as we have a toddler who goes to bed at 7pm and we do bedtime routines together.

I think I will be able to cut down that evening feed before I go back to work so it won’t be an issue, but I don’t really want to stop breastfeeding altogether if it can be avoided. I also don’t want to confuse her or make life difficult for my husband who will be putting her to bed when I’m working. The more I think about it the more I would LOVE to start having the odd night out here and there as I’ve really missed girl time and haven’t had a night off since she was born. Has anybody cut breastfeeding back and still been able to go out on the odd occasion without baby being distressed and then just feeding like normal the next day? I don’t understand how people feed untill 2+ if your child refuses a bottle/cup do you just never have a night off?
i basically want the best of both worlds and im just trying to figure out whether that’s possible as I want her to have the benefits of breastfeeding for another few months at least.

My DD is 11 months and feeds when she is at home with me Fri-Sun and in the evenings. Not sure why you’d need to stop completely if you don’t want to! BF network told me at this stage my milk will be fine when I am with her as it’s so established. I express on work days but only a few ounces as I just chuck my wearables in during lunch, it’s not necessary to maintain supply the bf network said. That being said we are in a different situation as dd will take a bottle of expressed.

Hey there!

Congratulations on your breastfeeding journey thus far, a huge achievement!

You don’t need to stop breastfeeding when you return to work. Many mothers and their babies continue regardless of whether mum works full time or part time, regular hours, shifts, over night or day time…

A useful article to read:

https://laleche.org.uk/working-and-breastfeeding/

Hope you enjoy breastfeeding and the rest of your mat leave!

Neither of mine would take a bottle and I managed the odd night out. I would sometimes come home and find DD on the sofa with DH , sat up and watching Match of the Day.

I’m a bit surprised by the advice from the HV of I’m honest. It’s pretty normal for an older BF baby to understand that there’s no BFing if you’re not there and to maybe catch up a bit when they see you.

I would give one of the BFing Helplines a call and talk through your return to work plans with one of the BFCs. I don’t know about your HVs but mine hasn’t been had DC let alone BF and were fairly clueless.

Absolutely no need to stop. And no reason to cut back or drop feeds either, unless you want to. If you were going on holiday, you wouldn't spend less time with your children beforehand to "get them used to you being away". You would spend MORE time with them so they felt extra loved before you left. (But cutting back isn't a problem in itself if it's what you want)

I say this as a former nanny to breastfed children. They very quickly get used to satiating their hunger and thirst through other means with other people and will catch up on Mummy Milk once the two or of you are back together. It might mean that they're a bit clingy after nursery for a couple of weeks or they feed frequently for a while. It could mean a couple of late nights. But it will settle and you can continue to breastfeed for as long as you both want to!

And whatever you do, do NOT go cold turkey. It will play havoc with your hormones and therefore your mood etc. it can be really damaging.

My DS is 14 months. He understands when dad or the nanny do bedtime, he doesn't get a boob. He's fine with it, nanny gives him a cup of milk, sings to him, reads him a story, swings him a bit and puts him down (well, usually, we're on holiday abroad atm and that's a different story, he's BF 24/7 😂).

I also found my supply is very flexible at this stage. My work is very intense Tuesday- Friday and I only BF twice a day but Sat - Monday I can BF 10 times a day if needed.

I never stopped feeding any of my four when I went back to work.
They were all breastfed for years.

I don't have advice but just to say my DC is 12 months and Im back at work now part time, and still breastfeeding. It's definitely thrown up some challenges for us both compared to my other two who were both bottle fed before I returned to work. But I have no plans to stop breastfeeding imminently, I'm hoping to continue to some degree until the beginning of the summer if possible.

That was very much my experience too 🙂

I don't understand why health visitors, who have no real qualifications, are allowed to talk such absolute bullshit. And it's such obvious bullshit as well because the World Health Organisation recommends breastfeeding children until the age of 2 or even beyond.

On another thread the OP said she stopped speaking her native language to her daughter because the health visitor told her it was causing a speech delay and now her child will never be bilingual.

Of course you don't need to stop breastfeeding. I went back to work full time when my children were 8 months old and I am still breastfeeding my DD now, two years later.

You don't need a health visitor. If you have any concerns about your child's development, you'll get more useful information from a decent book, or from your GP.

Ignore your HV. I really can’t see any reason why you’d need to stop.

I fed DD1 until she was over 2. From about 10/11 months she was on one feed first thing in the morning, and one last thing at night. She’d spend a night away from me semi-regularly (DH would take her to his parents for a night probably once every 6 weeks ish) and it was a non-issue. She’d happily skip the feeds because I wasn’t there, and then just go back to feeding the next night.
She stopped feeding when I became pregnant, which I think I’ve heard can happen.

I breastfeed DD until she was 4 and we adjusted when I went back to work (she was a little older at 13 months). She never took a bottle either.

To start with she'd basically launch herself face first at my boobs when I picked her up but she settled down. When she first started nursery she wasn't interested in cows milk but after a few weeks decided a little in a cup would be acceptable and she was happy to drink water.

If I wanted to go out for an evening with friends I just gave her some milk before I went and she'd go down fine for DH. I think the first time we tried was a bit tricky but she soon adapted to the idea of milk if I was there, not if I wasn't. When she got bigger she'd go and stay with her grandparents and again she'd be fine. Wanted milk when she got home to me but not an issue when she was away.

I went back to work when my child was 10 months and due to my shifts I was away from the house for 14 hours (I was a nurse), he had also never taken a bottle until this point.

On the days I worked I would breastfeed him in the morning before I went and then dream-feed him when I got back (or just wait until his first wake up during the night). During the day I would pump.

I worked three days a week and he breastfed as normal for the 4 days a week he was at home with me.

When he at his childminders house whilst I worked he would have water or expressed breast milk in a sippy cup.

It was a bit of a transition at first but after a few weeks we settled into this new way of routine and everything was fine. He went on to breastfeed until he was almost 3.

There is absolutely no need for you to stop breastfeeding at all.

Thank you all so so much this has made me feel so much better about the situation and much less stressed about returning to work. I am definitely going to continue breastfeeding, thank you❤️

Glad you’ve posted and found the thread helpful

The first HV is talking nonsense.
feed as long as you and baby want.

I fed my eldest until 3 and was tand
feesing for several months of that - still feeding my 2 yo on demand.

both times returning to work I didn’t express; my supply adjusted within the week. Most often it’s been when I get home and morning/evening, but I do genuinely feed on demand. Make no difference to their weaning or appetites!!

I’ve also been away for nights or weekend and they’ve been fine.

Who teaches these HVs- honestly- I breastfed my son till he went to school (which some people found outrageous but you know, who cares). Your supply will be absolutely fine and your baby will adapt to the new routine, keep going as long as you are both happy, don't go cold turkey it will be physically and emotional Difficult for both of you.