Unhappy breast fed baby

[Mummyfor3]

Hi, I am looking for advice and I suppose, support to continue BF.

DS3 is now 10 weeks old, gaining 6-8 oz/wk, lots of wet and dirty nappies, smiling etc - all good! However, he is ALWAYS unhappy and feeds all the time day and night. He has had the very occasional FF top-up, which seems to allow him to sleep for a little while.

My main concern is his unhappiness, although I am also insecure about whether I am doing the right thing by still trying to exclusively BF as he has dropped from above the 50th centile at birth (7lbs 11oz) to the 15th (11lb 7oz)now. I am also frankly exhausted, 2 existing DSs aged 4+5 years are getting short shrift, state of house is spinning out of control and DH worried/fed up.

I BF DS1 exclusively to 6 weeks, then started mixed FF/BF due to wt loss and screaming+++, stopped BF at 5/12 (return to work). DS2 was delivered by CS due to plancenta praevia at 31 weeks and had EBF by bottle for about 4/12, also at times with FF added.

When I try to express (v good electric pump) I get 3oz of BM max which I find disheartening - although I now have no time at all to try expressing.

Any ideas? I would love to exclusively BF, but not at all cost. I do not want to make life miserable for DS3 due to constant hunger, just because I want to BF.

Thanks for any input.

I cant think why BF would be the cause of his unhappiness. However it sounds like it is making you unhappy. Could you try talking to a BF councellor or similar? My DS was always miserable until he started school. He cried and moaned and whinged constantly. He's lovely now (12) but quite highly strung!

Congratulations on doing so well with the bfing so far, first off, & sorry you're having such a tough time.

I'm not an expert, (this is partly a bump for tiktok wt al) but a few thoughts:

• babies are MUCH more efficient than pumps - I wouldn't worry too much about the amount you can express - your ds will be able to get more.
• It sounds like some of the stuff that is frustrating you is just the natural consequence of having a newborn (& 3 kids) in the house - eg housework, feeling the other two dcs are not getting enough time. I wonder if this would really change if you moved to ff, or if all you need is a few more weeks to settle down into a new family pattern?
• when you say he feeds all the time, give us a sample of what that means? Ditto the crying - is there any pattern to it (colic? reflux?)
• As i understand it, there are very few women who can't make enough milk - so I suspect that the hunger thing may be a red herring - the mn experts will have an answer to that I'm sure

I'm not personally a big one for the growth charts - if your lo is happy, gaining weight & creating out of the rear end, that's enough for me - I'd be more worried about him not feeling settled.

What was the birth like? (Wondering about the value of a Cranial Oesteopath session - I have lots of friends who rave about them)

Definitely try to get a bf counsellor to take a look at your latch. Might be that, if DS is feeding loads of the time, he's only getting foremilk, and not enough hindmilk to keep him satisfied for longer? Had a similar situation when bf-ing my ds, where I think the latch was "good enough" to get lots of milk out, but technique not quite there for reaching hindmilk sufficiently. Hope an expert can help you, though.

I wonder if he has proper time to digest feeds? I found that my dd would be whingy and unhappy and rooting around when she had gut problems and if I stuck it out and didn't feed her, she would settle down and be happier. She needs 2-3 hrs between feeds. When I first started doing this scheduling of feeds (because I was demand feeding) I thought 'this will never work - she will never make it 3 hrs between a feed!' but she did and became a happier baby.
Also, I wonder if part of the reason why you are not getting much milk to express is because you are exhausted..
Seeing a bf councillor is a good idea.
I sympathize - it is difficult not to lose heart. You have done well to get this far!

Agree that there;s no evidence that it's BF that's making him unhappy - he may be jsut as cross on formula and you'd kick yourself if you switched wihtout considering all the options.

Seeing a BF counsellor is a good idea, but also consider things like silent reflux. Cranial osteopathy may help babies who had a traumatic birth (inc c-section babies who haven't been 'squeezed').

my ds was like this and I had two other LOs and a dh/house to deal with. Its not easy is it? [hugs] But like jennifersofia, I put ds into a routine (never had to do it with my other 2). I fed him every 3 hours (6am/9am/12/3/6/9) and he was a different baby. I exclusively bf him for 10months. Good luck

also, I tried formula and he was awful - in fact I knew when dh had given him a bottle, he screamed and screamed. So we chucked out the ff.

Thanks to all.

I have seen lactation supporter who did feel that I sat awkwardly ( I use cross cradle hold ie hold breast with same hand and support baby wiht other) and that he did not open his mouth enough. I do not disagree but how do I get him to open mouth further?? Sometimes I think he is latched on really well with lots of breast in his mouth, but he then gags and pulls back.

He was a brilliant vaginal delivery, 6 hours from first labour pain to delivered baby, I had only gas and air, some morphine for stitching.

I have considered giving cranial osteopathy a go.

I suspect the old foremilk/hindmilk problem might be the problem. So latch needs to be addressed: how do I get him to open mouth more??

I have read (some) of the "from samll acorns mighty oak trees" and feel humbled and a bit reassured - although still tired!

[tries to picture hold]
it does sound a bit awkward
what happens if you don't hold your breast? Can you prop it up with a rolled-up muslin or something underneath?

A proper BF counsellor will help you get his mouth open and improve that latch - do ring one (or get DH to).

Mummyfor3 - I agree, you need RL help. I would take you very seriously - after 10 weeks, if you think your baby is unhappy, then there's something not right.

However, if he would be happy if only he was within feeding distance of a breast 24/7 and would show you his contentment alongside constant or semi-constant feeding, then it's not really a 'breastfeeding problem' or even a 'supply problem'....hard to tell from your posts, and a call to a breastfeeding counsellor would help sort this one out, I think.

Hope you find the help you need.

Thanks for everybody's thoughts. My main concern is his unhappiness, I would probably not even be looking at the "numbers" if he were content.
Having said that he just slept 2 hours in the car on our drive!

Right, I am off to find phone no for breast feeding support lady.

right hand side of this page

There's some good-looking info & video clips by Dr Jack Newman who runs a breastfeeding clinic in Canada here that I was directed to by a friend (neither of us are experts!). Seems good advice to me, we both found that the compression technique can help, especially if baby is sleepy on the breast & might not be getting hindmilk.