Giving up BF...cold turkey

[turtle23]

Anybody done it? At what point, how did you cope, etc.

Thank you, everybody, I really don't know what I'd do without you.

hunker-NHS bf clinic.

Aaaagh, if it was an NHS clinic they may not have had a proper BF counsellor who was up to date with her training, etc. You would probably be better off contacting one of the BF organisation helplines, as they are all manned by people whose training is rigorous and constantly updated. It was very bizarre of her to tell you that your DS sleep pattern is not totally normal for his age, because it certainly is (unfortunately!).

Do you know what training she'd had?

I don't know. Was directed there by HV so just assumed they were all the same. It was better than listening to HV who is just the worst ever. Both she and BF counsellor advised me to just let DS scream it out all night. Argh.

Oh, fucking hell, Turtle

Steer well clear of hte poisonous twins then - actually, complain when you're feeling strong enough.

Shitty thing to tell someone with a baby of this age - no way should any child be left to scream all night anyway, but not one this little!

Try the helplines if you want to speak to someone in RL, but obv keep posting here too.

Oh Lord, that doesn't sound like any of the BF counsellors I know. I bet she was just a HV in disguise

I dont seem to produce much in the evenings
Is he cluster feeding? It's really hard but it will get better - with mine it wasn't a gradual thing, all of a sudden he just stopped needing to feed all evening

I went "Cold Turkey" from BF to FF, and I wouldn't recommend it! Its very painful and uncomfortable,I was lucky I didn't have any blocked Ducts or Mastitis,and the emotional side of it was....Aaarrrgh! I cried buckets.Just because you switch to FF, it will not be "Miracle Cure". You have a very young baby who is going to have "growth spurts" and sniffles, which will interfere with their normal routine,and leave you feeling tired and frustrated,whichever way you feed.

I would personally persevere,from what you have said there are "better times" and worse times,so its not all bad. I would disregard what the H.V says,and find someone more skilled,or listen to the MN'tters,who will share their experiences and help you to come through this "bad patch".

In another 24 hours,things could feel very different.IMO you are nearly "over the worst". The discomfort should be subsiding,and LO will settle into a "routine" you can cope with.There are times when every baby hardly puts on any weight,and sometimes even loses,but this is normal too,some BF seem to be very "bonny", and so sometimes it evens things out a little if their weight gain isnt huge some weeks.

I'll let the experts take over,as my experience with 3 DC's have been very different. But all I can say is never go Cold Turkey,ease down gradually if you must,even try a bottle of FF at 11pm as I did,if they'll sleep a little longer,but continue if you can,you will be glad you did later I promise. HTH

Unfortunately, the bf advice of HV is often incorrect. It is a real shame on this country that the provision of NHS bf advice is so poor. However, given the situation the very best thing you can do is to arm yourself with as much good information as you can (mumsnet is a briliant source!) There are so many myths, and when you are feeling down it can all seem too much - but remember
*waking in the night is normal
*feeding in the night is normal
*It sounds as if your baby is gaining weight well
*it is not possible to correctly judge supply by considering how "full" your breasts feel, nor by expressing.
*"cluster feeding", or in my case a general all day feedathon, is normal for many, many babies in the early weeks/months.
*ff has its own problems

DS just laughed for the first time while he had his bath. Nothing like it for cheering you up. I will sleep tonight (hopefully!) and think again in the morning. I plan on going to bed at 9 to try and get more than 20 mins sleep tonight.(That's about all I had last night.) Deep breath.

turtle, the 'bf counsellor' sounds utterly useless, and I have to say, the ones from NHS clinics are less likely to be as well-trained and up to date as someone from one of the vol orgs who has done the full training, who continues to be trained and who has regular supervision.

Please give the vol orgs a call.

Turtle, do you co-sleep? I found co-sleeping and feeding in the night meant I got much more sleep than if I had to get up and see to a baby in the night.

Oh babe - it is so hard in the early weeks. Establishing breastfeeding can be the hardest thing int he world, especially when we are led to believe that is is the easiest, It's not. However ^established* breastfeeding, once you and the baby are working together, is bliss and the so worth the hard work it can take to get there.

I struggled with DD3. I was in agony, had blisters on blisters, cried through every feed, she fed every 2 hours 24 hrs a day for months. Then it just all clicked with the 2 of us and ohhhhh wonderful.

But my switching to a bottle may have helped with blisters but wouldn't have stopped her feeding every 2 hours and I'd have had to come down, make sure bottles were clean, make bottles up, go back up all for the sake of a couple of ounces and then start all over again over and over.

I just want you to feel not so alone.

Keep posting. Hope we cna all help get you through this.

Turtle, if he's gained a pound in ten days, I can guarantee you cannot be doing it wrong, and this BF counsellor is talking out of her arse. Me and my DS are in some ways no advert for BF because his weight gain was very slow and at 14 months he still only weighs 22lb, but I didn't care, I knew it was best and that there was and is nothing wrong with him. Yours sounds like a little champ!! The first three months are quite tough for everyone, and then stuff starts to come together in every respect. It does get easier. Also your DH, some men find v tiny babies quite intimidating and don't know how best to help so they do nothing at all so that they don't do it wrong, my DH was like that.

I didn't formula feed because I am farking lazy, fancy getting up at 12, 2 and 4 etc to make up fresh bottles of formula, DS crying all the while, instead of just picking him up and applying to boob. I couldn't be bothered, and I wouldn't have done even if every scientist in the land had proven that FF was superior!

Good night, all. I really value everyone's advice. Am hoping my head will stop spinning and will ring round the different orgs in the morning. LO had a bath and a good massage, 4 oz expressed (DH came through) and one boob mummy top-up(wasn't very long and there was nothing eft after.) Expressed the other boob and came up with 1 oz. Can't help but think there isn't much for him at night. Here's hoping DS gives me a break and lets me sleep!

turtle - keep going, it'll be fine.
Call the voluntary org. BF councillors and don't listen to any more rubbish from your HV and NHS BF woman.
Best of luck!

Turtle please keep going, it gets so much easier soon.
Agree you are much better off asking for advice either here or from the voluntary orgs, though it sounds as if you are doing really well, your LO is gaining lots of weight.
Expressing is a poor way to judge how much milk you produce and remembeer th emore you feed the more milk yu make, you dont "run out" of milk, its just that most people feel their breasts are fuller in the mornings.
There is loads of good info and adice here
www.kellymom.com/
I used this site loads when DS1 was a baby and I was an anxious first time mother....

turtle - how are you feeling today lovely?

Well, I am still here and my boobs are still here to fight another day. Just realised that today is the day the HV comes to do my PND survey. Am hoping that I can hold it together. I have done depression before and don't want to start thinking that way. This is really more about sleep and feeling useless but I'm sure I look like a loony from the outside.

Hurrah! You're doing amazingly well, I don't think introducing some formula is a bad thing if it keeps you breastfeeding.

Hope the HV is kind to you - in my experience they are very quick to diagnose PND so don't panic if they do. They tried to convince me I had it because I was so happy, they were convinced I was gonna crash and burn

Hey Turtle.
I wouldn't recommend giving up cold turkey personally, jeez DS went from 9-2:45 last night and I was in so much pain I had to wake him up!
It really does get easier and as everyone else has said tiredness doesn't affect supply, though when you're absolutely shattered 5 minutes spent feeding can feel like three hours, and three hours spent not feeding can feel like 5 minutes!
Take each day as it comes and if you really do decide you want to stop it's better to introduce a bottle at a time so your supply goes down gradually, being less likely to result in mastitis or blocked ducts.
You've done great so far