Oh FFS someone please direct me to some level-headed advice on CO-SLEEPING....please

[BigBadMouse]

Stupid internet is full of sensationalist stuff (surprise surprise)

Depending on what site I look it it will either psychologically damage my child not to co-sleep or I will suffocate him within hours of starting .

Co-slept with DDs (although that wasn't the plan) DS1 seems to like the idea too and I want some guidelines on doing so safely. FSID seems to be against it from what I can tell -esp pre 3 months old.

atm we have a long breastfeeding pillow to either stop him falling out of the bed or DH squishing him (depending on what side of me DS is sleeping), no hat just vest and babygrow. I really don't like putting DS on top of our duvet as DH might throw the duvet off overnight (as he often does) and accidently cover DS so DH and I have shuffled down the bed with the duvet and DS is higher up above the 'duvet line' - for the duvet to be over DS it would have to be completely over our heads so it's unlikely it will get over his head without us knowing. Hope that makes sense . Does that sound OK?

This book is great for the pro side.

we did the same, with the 'duvet line'
it seemed to work

that sounds fine. i worried about ds getting stuck between the mattress and headboard (we have a wooden bed) so stuck some blocks between the mattress and footboard so there was no possible gap at top. later of course i took them out so he couldn't fall down the bottom.

i also found sleeping with my arm making a sort of arch above/round ds was very reassuring for all of us at first.

Thanks for the link - that book does look good - sounds like it gives a balanced view which makes a nice change.

Franny glad you did the same thing as us. Seems the safest thing for our circumstances but a lot of sites say only ever on top of the duvet and that never worked for us

Three in a Bed was my co-sleeping bible! Very good for confounding bossy boots health visitors (who have generally never heard of it).

Sounds fine. We had DS from the start in his u shaped pillow so it cushioned him, he was in the middle. Often I would wake up with my head on his pillow but aware that he was there. And he was above the duvet, we "squitched" down a bit. He loves his pillow now and sleeps in it in his cot and pushes it around the floor when he takes it to nana's.

we put ds in the middle, with separate quilts. It works really well for us.

The other option, is a bedside cot. I have it permanently set-up next to the bed, so DD has a bit of space to herself, and when I need to feed her I just roll over, then roll back. She is 9 months old now, and tugs my duvet if I don't wake to let me know she wants me!

We do the duvet line thing, and baby goes in the middle when they're big enough to roll out!

we did the duvet thing too. Our legs were stuck out of the bed at funny angles while the babies stretched themselves to full comfort but there you are.

We use a bed rail on my side of bed, with DS in a growbag on the mattress between me and the bed rail, and me and DH under duvet with duvet sort of tucked under me. Had no problems with this and as we only have a normal sized double bed seems to maximise the room we all have. Still doing it this way at 19 months

I really would not use the bf pillow as they are filled with tiny beads and can suffocate a baby if they are pressed against it.We are still sleeping with both of ours,we have a mattress on the floor,but if we stay anywhere else the baby goes against the wall (as long as its a tight fit)then I sleep next to her so she can't roll out the other way.When she was tiny teeny she slept in a moses until my bed time and then I just took her in with me.now she is either asleep next to me on the sofa or in a cot and then she comes to bed when I do.i suppose I could just pop her in next to big sister now she is a year old but i do still worry about squashing.There is a thing from the US called the family bed-it is a long pillow thing ,(google it)so I don't understand why it isn't a suffocation risk although it isn't bead filled.I think maybe its better for slightly older babies.?I too did the "arm around "thing and we were a bit more careful with the duvet at first.

We have a beside cot for most of the night - makes DS really easy to pick up for feeds. He tends to come into the bed 'proper' for any wakeup after around 4am. We also have a bed guard on DH's side just in case

He goes on top of whatever we're sleeping under, in various states of undress depending on the weather - he's always very warm snuggled up next to me.

I loved that book - I borrowed it from the library (has to wait ages to get it though!) but might buy it at some point as it was a great read.

I believe it is safer for them NOT to sleep between you and your partner, something to do with men not having the instinctive awareness of where the LO is?

We used a bed rail so DS would sleep between me and that. He was in a Grobag on top of the duvet (which was tucked in down the side of the bed so no chance of it coming loose and covering him).

MegBusset - I believe that is one school of thought. We followed it to start with, mainly due to DH's worry, but he feels aware of where DS is now.

Also, DS is pretty much always in the crook of my arm, so I'd feel and rolling activity first!

I did the arm round thing as well and it worked fine for us. Did wake up with a dead arm occasionally though

some of the info [[http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T071000.asp here] is also good.

hope it helps

We did the duvet thing too, also we pulled our pillows wide apart and put DS2 in the middle so the duvet couldnt reach him (made sure he was safe and far enough away from the pilllw to be safe, we have a big bed).
Also if you are really worried about the duvet why not ditch it for now and use a top sheet and a cotton blanket, its esp easy in the summer? We did this with DS1 and it worked well.

and once again

some of the info here is also good.

hope it helps

I didn't know there were whole books about it!
I just had the baby in my arm with his own blanket and my boob out all night so he could feed as and when.
I was asleep, but not, iyswim?