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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

breastfeeding affecting libido

15 replies

claribelle · 31/05/2008 07:28

Did anyone else find that breastfeeding affected their libido? If so, did you find that the "urge" came back after you stopped breastfeeding? I am still bfing an 18 month old, and I still have no periods. I guess I am probably not fertile either?

OP posts:
AussieSim · 31/05/2008 07:39

It is a well documented fact that BFing will sap your sex drive and make your fanjo a bit dry and therefore in need of a bit of artificial assistance when you do have sex.

How often during a 24 hour period would you BF? Seems like a long time to be without AF. I fed my two DS's past 12mths but on both occasions I got the AF back at around 10mths when they would have been down to one decent feed a day.

Are yo u doing the demand thing i.e., whenever dc tugs on your shirt, or to a routine i.e., at bedtime, or before breakfast or whatever. It will be the frequency of BFing that will keep AF away I would think.

By 16mo with DS1 my DH had very quietly and diplomatically had enough and planned an O/S trip for me to catch up with a friend to force my hand to wean. In hindsight it was a good thing. DS1 and later DS2 were not difficult about weaning at all and I really felt not just my sex drive come back but my sense of well being in general. HTH, Sim

Original poster
claribelle · 31/05/2008 07:47

Thanks Aussiesim. I am bfing before bed and between 5am and 8am a few times, and then once or twice in the daytime when he asks for it, but some days if he is busy I can get away with not doing it.
Part of me is ready to stop because I really want to get a sex life back with dh because he has pretty much given up hoping, and that is a bit depressing! Plus, I would like to get pregnant again in a few months - but have a few months of fun sex before then incase I go off it all over again when I'm pregnant! Poor dh, and poor me because I feel guilty all the time!
At the same time I feel guilty and sad about weaning because my ds loves it sooo much, and I am emotionally attached to it too...
Its a tricky one - I know its only up to me. It would feel great to feel horny again though!

OP posts:
belgo · 31/05/2008 07:55

I found that lack of ovulation affected libido, so once my periods returned so do my libido even though I was still bfing loads.

And of course lack of sleep affected my libido! But I wouldn't say that bfing itself caused a lack of libido.

Original poster
claribelle · 31/05/2008 08:04

That makes sense.
I think I will just try to cut down gradually..
I am also so knackered - I know that affects it too. Oh the heavenly thought of a full nights sleep!

OP posts:
belgo · 31/05/2008 08:06

Yes I would try and refuse to bf before 7am. That might help.

StellaWasADiver · 31/05/2008 08:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
claribelle · 31/05/2008 08:15

thanks belgo, I will do that soon. Am just dreading that he won't go back to sleep after 5am but maybe it will just take a few hard mornings for him to adjust.
Isn't it hard, Stella? Its been so hard to not want to be physical with ds! Even scared of kissing incase it leads to him wanting it. I am hoping I will feel like the little nymph I once was (well almost!)when I stop! Although maybe being a mum to a toddler, that is too much to expect!

OP posts:
Original poster
claribelle · 31/05/2008 08:17

whoops.. i meant dh not ds!!!

OP posts:
belgo · 31/05/2008 08:19

If your ds starts pestering you for milk from 5am, give him to your dh. The see how a 5am start effects your dh's libido

Original poster
claribelle · 31/05/2008 08:28

hee hee! to be fair tho he is willing to help...just doesn't seem to affect his libido!

OP posts:
StellaWasADiver · 31/05/2008 09:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FrannyandZooey · 31/05/2008 09:06

"It is a well documented fact that BFing will sap your sex drive and make your fanjo a bit dry and therefore in need of a bit of artificial assistance when you do have sex."

not at all - this CAN happen to some people. It certainly wasn't ever my experience and I bf for 4 years.

Tiredness and the experience of feeling 'all touched out' from life with a young child can IME have a negative effect on one's libido. PLus the whole experience of birth, relating to your partner in a different way now you are parents, and your feelings about yourself sexually now you are a mother - these can all have negative effects. But IME people who give up breastfeeding expecting to feel completely as they did before, are often disappointed.

belgo · 31/05/2008 09:35

I was also wondering about that statement F&Z. I had never come across it before.

I think the general changes that come along with having a baby are what effects (affects? I haven't a clue!) your sex life - the effects of the child birth, sleepless nights, changes to your social lives etc.

I became pregnant while still bfing - there is an 18 month age gap between my two children. I don't think bfing had a negetive effect on our sex lives.

FrannyandZooey · 31/05/2008 10:48

I think just having had a child is designed to prevent you from wanting to have another one quickly, for obvious reasons
I have heard some people say they have felt drier vaginally while bf, and obviously there are hormonal changes, but tiredness and adjusting to your new role and your new body has a far greater effect for most women IMO

Tatties · 31/05/2008 11:00

Your periods may return soon even if you don't stop bf though. I noticed that my physical urge to have sex increased once my periods started again when ds was 12mo. I have also found that other things affect libido, like tiredness, anxieties about other things, not getting chance to relax and unwind properly; but not breastfeeding in itself.

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