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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Without offending

36 replies

LuckySalem · 30/05/2008 23:36

Has anyone else who ever breastfed found it wierd? and not in a good way?

I've just had DD (now 5 months) and stopped bfing at 4 months as I found it too wierd. It seemed strange having someone suck on my boob.

I'm wondering if i'm alone or if anyone else has ever had it. Also could it be because I didn't feel a bond with her? I felt very much like she wasn't mine for a long time.

I'm asking this because me and DP are hoping to TTC for no.2 in the next year or so and i'm seriously thinking of going straight to bottle because I don't want to feel that wierd again.

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AbricotsSecs · 30/05/2008 23:38

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Original poster
LuckySalem · 30/05/2008 23:40

hoochiemomma - that's just naughty that I can't have one too!! lol

I honestly don't know. I know mum bottlefed me as she HAD to have steriods so wasn't allowed to bf me but I don't remember whether my cousins were bf or bottle.

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AbricotsSecs · 30/05/2008 23:40

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notjustmom · 30/05/2008 23:40

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Original poster
LuckySalem · 30/05/2008 23:41

yeh I keep telling myself that but it creeped me out so much that everytime I make that decision I back out again.

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AbricotsSecs · 30/05/2008 23:44

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Original poster
LuckySalem · 30/05/2008 23:48

I was thinking of doing all that when I get pg next time as I had a horrid birth and i'm scared about that. I didn't bond with DD and so stopped bfing early and now am worried about starting it again. So am definatly planning on having HUGE talks about everything when i'm preg next. lol.

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megandtyler · 31/05/2008 00:08

i had trouble bf dd so when i fell pregnant with ds i was in two minds whether to bf or not.
About a month before he was due i sat dh down and we hd a chat about it.he didn't want me to bf as he says that my boobs are his!But he said that if i wanted to try again then i should.
Ds was delivered ok but was "grunting " and had to be rushed to the nicu in a different hospital. he was fed formula through a tube and i expressed some milk.
When he came out of the incubator on day 2 i was able to bf.
he latched on fine and i had none of the problems that i had with dd.They removed the feeding tube all was ok.
Then ds's blood sugars dropped and they had to put the tube back in.next day they took it out back to bf.
next day he went downhill and they wanted to put the tube back in.I asked if he could have a bottle of formula they said fine he drank most of the bottle.
i had a good cry and a really long hard think and decided that i should go with the bottle as the poor little mite was too weak to suckle.
spoke to the Matron and a doctor who both supported my decision the doctor even said that the main thing was to get the calories in to him.
sorry didn't mean for it to be so wordy
Op if it weirds you out don't stress they do fine on the bottle.if you want to give it a go with bf give it a go and if it dosen't feel right then don't stress they don't give out medals for who bf's the longest and it dosen't make people better mums!
Also you can make dh do the nightfeeds

Original poster
LuckySalem · 31/05/2008 00:09

Thanks Meg - Sorry to hear your DS wasn't well.

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megandtyler · 31/05/2008 00:13

thanks
he's fine now too quick a birth really

Tapster · 31/05/2008 08:20

I have the reverse problem that I find bottlefeeding really weird especially of tiny babies - no offence of course but its how we choose to think about things.

AbbeyA · 31/05/2008 08:25

I think it down to the individual, I agree with Tapster.

belgo · 31/05/2008 08:27

same here Tapster

StellaWasADiver · 31/05/2008 08:45

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becklespeckle · 31/05/2008 09:12

When I fed my DS1 it did feel very wierd to me (I also struggled to bond with him) and I only kept it up for a couple of months. I felt it only fair to do the same for DS2 but I found the whole thing much more natural (bonding was much quicker too) and kept it up for 4.5 months (until he refused it). With DD it seems even more natural and we are still going strong at almost 5 months!

What I am trying to say is that it may feel completely different to you if you try it again with DC2. And if it doesn't then you can stop!

BumperliciousNeedsToSleep · 31/05/2008 09:19

It's good to be honest about your feelings, and well done for going for so long.

TBH it was 4 or so before I truly enjoyed bfing, so maybe if you had gone on for longer you might have got used to it. You might not have, and I don't say that to make you feel bad, what I mean is it might get better next time. Obviously it bothers you and you would have really liked to have enjoyed the experience or you wouldn't have posted. Don't write it off yet, and just see how you feel next time.

Have you thought that your horrid birth and feelings towards DD might have affected your bfing experience? I think talking about your birth with someone is a really good idea anyway for next time.

Original poster
LuckySalem · 31/05/2008 10:03

Yeh it probably is just cos of the birth so i'm hoping that next time i'll be able to. I'm just having trouble commiting myself to it. IYKWIM.

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StarlightMcKenzie · 31/05/2008 10:07

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Original poster
LuckySalem · 31/05/2008 10:09

I found out that my friend did do it - Just forgot as I wasn't around much while she was bfing. (she had PND and didn't like visitors etc)

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StellaWasADiver · 31/05/2008 10:11

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megandtyler · 31/05/2008 19:30

i actually do take offence .giving up breast feeding is one of the hardest decisions i've ever had to make and i've had to do it twice.
bottle feeding is not an easy option it is bloody hard work.

hunkermunker · 31/05/2008 19:34

notjustmom, quit the "happy mum, happy baby" line, please.

It's a really, really idiotic thing to say and deeply offensive to those with PND.

ib · 31/05/2008 19:57

Happy mum happy baby is also very offensive to those whose babies are very unhappy and are blamed for it! I had it quoted at me when ds was unwell and I wanted to brain the person (ds had reflux so he had very good reasons not to be happy). If your baby is unhappy then you obviously aren't going to be either!

StarlightMcKenzie · 31/05/2008 20:01

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GreenMonkies · 31/05/2008 20:19

LuckySalem,

Start the talking now. Get your birth and feeding demons dealt with before you are pg and all hormonal!!

Bottlefeeding is so normal in our society now that most people view boobs as purely sexual things (Katie Price is the ultimate example) so I don't thinkk you are odd or strange or bad or whatever for feeling that way. But ultimately feeding a baby is why you have boobs, so whilst it seems odd to you it is actually not, if you follow me!

Ultimately if you start out breastfeeding you can easily give up and switch to bottles if you start finding it overwhlemingly horrible. But if you go straight to bottles it can be virtually impossible to switch to breastfeeding and you will never know how it might have been second time around, and baby #2 will have mised out on so much good stuff that baby #1 got. How will that make you feel?

And as for the "Happy Mummy = Happy Baby" line, actually it is "Happy Baby = Happy Mummy" as we as mothers should primarily be meeting the needs of our babies, and be happy that we are raising happy healthy babies. No matter which way they are fed. If that makes any sense?

Monkies