Conflicted on breastfeeding

[SRH]

We recently had our first baby (14 days old). His entry into the world was “traumatic” even though it was a successful planned c-section. I was absolutely terrified of theatre and am finding it difficult to move on from the experience. The only thing that went “well” for me on his birth day was the fact my colostrum came in and I was able to breastfeed. After about a week/10 days of breastfeeding however, my left nipple was incredibly sore and bleeding so clearly something wasn’t right. Since then I have been expressing milk and husband has been feeding by bottle. I think I would like to get back to breastfeeding but don’t know if it’s the right thing for us. Bottle feeding is convenient in that you can measure exactly how much baby is getting and you don’t need to worry about winging out a boob in public etc. My husband isn’t mad keen on continuing breastfeeding as he feels the expressing is going well and enjoys feeding baby by bottle. I’m feeling so conflicted about the whole thing and would like to know others’ experiences. I’ve been very anxious since baby was born and this is yet another issue that I’ve honed in on. I am seeing my GP re the anxiety side of things. Thanks all x

I could not get on with breastfeeding and did feed milk

I breastfed 4 children for over 5 years in total.
It will hurt; it hurt the first few weeks for all 4 of mine. Your nipples will crack and bleed at first. That is why lansinoh etc are available. However by 6 weeks it will turn a corner and then it is SO much more convenient than bottle feeding.

I mix fed my eldest, he had one bottle a day. No nipple confusion.

To be honest, it’s much easier to fully breastfeed. Expressing if a faff and so is sterilising bottles. Once your milk supply is established and the soreness has worn off, it’s a doddle.

Sorry to hear you’re feeling so anxious - I really empathise as I struggled a lot when my DD was newborn as well. You should do whatever feels right for you - no one else’s feelings / opinions matter on this, including your husbands. I wasn’t able to breastfeed as my supply was too low (though did try for 6 weeks and felt terribly guilty that I wasn’t able to). My DD is nearly 3 now and no one cares how she was fed - so it’s easy to say, but please try not to worry too much. Much better for your baby that you make the decision you feel most comfortable with than that you tie yourself in knots trying to do what other people think you should do. If you’re happy, he’ll be happy, however you choose to feed him x

I would love to combi feed but don’t know how to do it successfully. Definitely going to take a look at this book! Thank you x

It was honestly the best resource I could find on combi feeding at the time. I especially loved how it was written as it was easy to flick to the relevant page and find bite sized information, rather than having to read endless chapters when sleep deprived x

I tried to breastfeed and had horrendously cracked nipples, it was agonizing. So I expressed for 6 months then went to formula about 7 months when my freezer stash ran out. After a couple of months I got onto a schedule of expressing 3 times a day which was enough milk for the baby but I think maybe I had a high supply?

In many ways I found expressing easier as other people could feed the baby, I liked that I had a schedule and it felt predictable. I could drink because I had a freezer stash of milk. Didn't have to be getting my boob out every 5 seconds and could wear whatever clothes I liked.

It worked for me. If it's working for you then no harm in carrying on that way.

Sometimes I wonder if I breastfed, would I have continued for longer (past 6 months) but honestly I don't know if I would have. There's something about my body not being mine that I find really difficult. I did what I viewed as the bare minimum because I knew breast milk was good for them but after 6 months I was completely past being done with it.

I would really advise the website kellymom.com for all things breastfeeding. That site saved my breastfeeding journey for sure.