Breastfeeding - anyone have a weaning plan?

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Context: DC is almost 10 months old; exclusively breastfed due to culminating circumstances^; weaning well - on three meals and snacks, BF only 4 times a day (no nights); drinks water from a straw cup; starting nursery very soon and I start work a week after that.

^ Culminating circumstances: I bought into the ‘nipple confusion’ conspiracy - no scientific data that that’s a thing; he had severe eczema that took ages to get under control, it is thankfully now managed better; eczema meant that when we tried formula at 6 months he would go bright red and itchy, despite having no allergy to milk (tested); we didn’t push formula and therefore did not push the bottle itself, he now refuses to take the bottle.

Query: has anyone successfully weaned their exclusively breastfed DC strictly by 12 months?
I have enjoyed BF but my intention was always to wean him off me by month 6. I have continued due to his circumstances, but I do not want to take it strictly any further than 12 months - minor concession that I might do it for 12 months + 3 weeks because he was born 37 weeks and physically he always tracks slightly behind.
Any strategies taken, inadvertent yet successful plans, including how little ones took it, etc more than welcome.

Disclaimer: I know every baby is different, I am simply asking for real life experiences as a guide or peace of mind. BF is beautiful and I am not passing judgment on anyone who does it for 1 week/month/year/decade. After DC turns 1, BF will simply no longer fit our family life, and I desperately need body autonomy, if not for work then for my mental help.

Thank you in advance and apologies for a long first post!

Can you try cow's milk in a different style of cup? I combination fed (so not your situation), but found that when I was ready to wean off BM and formula, I swapped one feed per day for a cup of whole milk. I used a 360 cup to reduce spills and also to make it a new experience.

You can start now if you want to change very gradually - new WHO guidance is that cow's milk as an alternative to formula is fine from six months https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK596423/

NB this isn't NHS advice yet, but if I had known, I would have switched that part of combination feeding over sooner. As it was, we switched to cow's milk for my baby at 10.5 months.

Not quite the same as you, but I weaned DD in the daytime starting at 11m. Dropped the mid-morning feed and replaced with her favourite foods (yogurt, bananas) and water. Dropped the afternoon feed a few weeks later when she started nursery. I then went onto feed her first thing in the morning and last thing at night for several months because it didn’t interfere with work, but I guess I could have dropped those more quickly, one by one. DD was ok, lots of cuddles and distraction. She dropped the morning feed and then finally the evening one. I’m not advocating feeding for longer or changing your plans - I carried on beyond a year just because it made my life easier, you need to do what’s right for you.

If I were you, I would drop the least important (emotionally, practically) feed first, replace with snack and water/cows milk, then drop further feeds one by one every couple of weeks. The hardest to drop is likely the bedtime feed if you have one.

Be alert to weaning depression, transient feelings of sadness as your hormones adjust. It shouldn’t last long.

Hoping you have a smooth weaning journey!

Hi OP, thanks for this thread as I feel similarly about my 10 month old. He will take a bottle and formula thoughh hankfully but only very reluctantly. The only one we could get him to take after so much trial and error is the Nuk latex one. I don't actually mind the idea of continuing to breastfeed him say twice a day or so past 12 months around work but I'm struggling to imagine how to wean him down to that? He communicates clearly when he wants to be breastfed and he knows where the milk is! How do you deny a baby breastfeeds at say 12 months when they're not old enough to understand or explain that we aren't doing that anymore but they know where the milk is??

This is my DC3. DC2 I weaned onto formula fully at 10 months just right before he started nursery. Well he was fully formula fed in the day at 9 months, I just breastfed him once in the night, then he started sleeping through so that was that. But he was always perfectly happy taking a bottle, wasn't attached to breastfeeding at all, never really 'asked' for it, didn't feed to sleep at all (had a dummy). So it was easy. I just gradually swapped one breastfeed for one formula bottle each week. DC3 seems like a totally different thing - doesn't really like a bottle, won't have a dummy, eats way less solid food than DC2 did, wakes up a million times a night mostly wanting to be breastfed to sleep etc...

Thanks everyone, replying to you all but also commenting to bump the post up in case others have experience too (is that how this works?!).

DC started settling sessions at nursery so I might soon have more updates on the afternoon feed front - I have asked that we work with the nursery to cut those feeds. There has not yet been a situation where the nursery had to give him expressed milk (still settling), and I truly wonder how he will take it. He hates expressed milk.

@OtterMummy2024 - cow milk is a good idea. Nursery has already started giving him a little cup of cow milk with his lunch. As he inches closer to 12 months I will suggest giving him some cow milk if he is fussy.

@MoreThanRubies - thanks for reassuring me that nursery and dropping a feed could work. Also thanks for the weaning depression tip; if it were to happen to me, I would have probably thought it’s my thyroid again (postpartum was a wild ride for me…)

@OtterMummy2024 - I hear you. I wish I had preserved more with the bottle to have gained independence earlier, but it’s weirdly worked out where he doesn’t use it as a crutch or sleep association (I know he would have developed a dependance). We didn't do dummies either.

How many times do you BF? I used to feed on demand until I saw a sleep consultant who suggested structured feeds to ensure his intake would remain high and avoid basically ‘snacking’. So at 7 months he would roughly feed at 6AM, every 3 hours thereafter and a final one before bedtime at 7PM (= 6 times). Around 8 month we dropped one afternoon feed (= 5 times, twice AM, twice PM, bedtime).
Now at 9 months we are at four time (one AM, two PM, bedtime).
Since we’re at the cusp of 10 months and nursery I want to drop to three times (one AM, one PM, bedtime). By 12 months I should hopefully be left with one feed (most probably the bedtime one).

I guess my concern remains that by cutting feeds he will not suddenly sleep badly and lose weight or anything scary like that! Also, his mood. I appreciate that when he’s completely weaned there might be a week of whining and asking for the boob, which can be dealt with, but not a prolonged period! Any insight into this also welcome