4 Week Old has never left the boob

[Emmilouise783]

I just wanted some advice/support, I have a 4 week old that basically all day barely sleeps and just constantly feeds on the boob, falls asleep on the boob wakes up and goes straight back to the boob. This pattern has been ongoing for all of the 4 weeks. The only time I can get him to sleep is my husband putting a baby carrier on and going for a long walk. He previously had his tongue tie cut at 2 weeks and my supply had dropped and I was prescribed donperidone. I don’t want to give up BF but the days are on unbearable at the minute. The nights are manageable he goes to sleep around 10 wakes at 12 and wakes at 3 and 6. Everytime I take him of feeding in the day he screams and just cry’s and cry’s and cry’s. Is this normal. Everyone said this is cluster feeding for a growth spurt but it’s been every day since the day he was born. Any help please!

That’s tough, I really feel for you. I do remember feeding getting a little easier at around two months when they could go longer between feeds. I hope he turns a corner and you get more time to have a cup of tea on your own.

This sounds like my eldest. Looking back, it was probably undiagnosed tongue tie as well as low milk supply. Can you speak to your GP? Would you consider formula top ups to get a break? Look after yourself.

You've probably tried this but just in case, use breast compressions to empty quicker. Swap sides very frequently to increase your supply: literally every 5mins keep swapping sides. Knead with your spare hand in long strokes right from the armpit/neckline going inwards like you're drawing bicycle spokes.

Have you had his latch checked? Is he definitely feeding and getting milk during the day?

Sympathies. DD is 12 weeks and I’ve been surprised as how hard breastfeeding is.

I know it's unfashionable nowadays, but would a dummy help? Also, you can put him in the crib next to you and let him cry a bit, have a cuppa, do your hair.

How is his weight gain?

I loved breastfeeding and am very pro, but can totally understand this being a bit much.

I think you can reasonably expect this to get better soon, but you need to rule out any supply / underfeeding issues first.

So the Infant Feeding team reviewed his latch and said it’s good, I switch sides 2x as well as compressions. We tried to introduce a dummy and he just won’t take it. Spits it out, or sucks for a bit then it falls out and he screams again. They weighed his nappies when he was in hospital and confirmed he’s got a good output. So I’m completely stumped as to what the issue is.

His weight gain is good according to the feeding team in the hospital.

when I attempted to use a pump when he was asleep I got 40ml in an hour. Is this good or bad?

Thank you!!!
How did you know you had low milk supply, his tongue tie has been cut and I was prescribed medication to increase my supply. The dose ran out today.

Mine did this. He was either breastfeeding or screaming during the day.The first few months were mega hard. It turned out that he had a milk allergy and was using the breast for comfort.

Pumping is no indication of supply so don't worry about that, I wouldn't bother.

When my two were newborns I'd be swapping sides more like 6x per feed ie LRLRLR so try that as it's the traditional way to increase supply.

Also consider side-lying as much as you can so you can rest a bit.

There might not actually be "an issue", it can be normal for newborns to be like this. I know it feels like torture but it'll keep getting better as she gets older. For me and my first, it got dramatically better when she turned 4 months

Another sympathiser here , DS was a big baby and fed every 1-1/2 to 2 hours.
It did get better, gradually, and it helped a lot when we started giving him tiny amounts of baby rice mixed with breast milk at around 4 months.
He never drank water, though. He dropped the last remaining feed at almost exactly 12 months.
It was easy by then!

I think they say anything from 0.5-2oz a session if you are breastfeeding so I think this sounds about right.

My DD is 6 months and breastfed, I remember it being like this in the beginning. It’s so so tough but if I recall, they say it’s the baby establishing your supply. Mine didn’t take a dummy well until she was about 3 months. Have you tried a few different types? We use the Tommee tippee cherry latex ones. I also found that holding them in a breastfeeding position makes them more likely to take the dummy.

If weight gain and poop output is good, and no digestive issues I think it'll just improve as his stomach gets bigger and he gets more distracted. Sorry, it sounds exhausting 😬

My youngest was like this, then suddenly she started going longer between feeds. I’m certain it’s the way they naturally increase the milk supply. It happened again, when she had a growth spurt. The way I dealt with it was to make myself as comfortable as possible, with drinks, snacks, TV remote, magazines.

At four weeks your milk supply isn’t properly established yet. It sounds like you’re doing an amazing job. I was told to avoid top ups and dummies, as the breast needs the sucking to increase the milk supply.

Sounds like you’re doing amazing by getting everything obvious checked etc.
The first couple of months getting BF established and both of you in to a routine are tough. But it does get so much easier with time. Once baby is a bit older and can be entertained with toys / other people then it takes the pressure off you.
Hope things get easier for you soon!

Exactly the same here. It was sorted once I gave up dairy but that took a couple of weeks. OP I would speak to your GP/HV about ruling out CMPA. Especially if you are considering formula. I really feel for you - I remember these days. I hope you’re ok.

This was during Covid times so it’s all a bit of a blur. I remember having a long phone consultation with the local baby feeding cafe service and they signposted me to various resources and techniques, I also tried domperidone. Power feeding helped somewhat but I suspect that may not work as you’re already cluster feeding. On day 2 in hospital the nurse told me he wasn’t settling after a feed so I needed to top up with formula until my milk came in. I put myself through a lot because I wanted to exclusively BF but even though trying certain techniques did help my supply, it was just never quite enough. When I had my second, exactly the same thing happened on day 2 and I didn’t want to end up in the same place so combi fed from the start. I only have one working breast though, which probably played into it. Look, there’s a lot of info out there for mums to help them BF and that’s great, it really is. But I found that experts were totally unwilling to entertain the idea that some women just produce less milk than others. It gave me PND going through all that, aggravated by zero sleep because I had a baby that would feed for hours overnight. So, just do look after yourself. There’s no shame in topping up with a bottle. Xx

He feeds and settles well at night with no tears and screams. So would that still be an intolerance?

No, he wouldn’t be so settled at night if he has an intolerance.

It is only in hindsight that I realise how bad DC2’s reflux (possibly CPMA intolerance) was and that we were in this constant cycle that he would be upset as he was so uncomfortable, I’d think he was hungry (he was a scrawny little thing), he’d like the comfort of the feed and the relief the sucking action brought but it just exacerbated the situation.
Whatever the reason, it is intolerable for you. You have done an amazing job feeding your baby constantly for this long and he will have had some many benefits from all of the breast milk that he has had to date. He will also benefit from a well rested parent who is able to take some time to look after her own health. Introducing formula, perhaps alongside bfing or perhaps by itself, really won’t cause him any problems.
My eldest is now a teen. One of her NCT group is at secondary school with her. He was exclusively ff from day 2. Mine was ebf until 15 months. They got exactly the same mark in the 11+ exams; both got the sports prize when they left primary school; both are lovely kids. How they were fed as infants hasn’t been considered by anyone for years.

I've breastfed 2 babies (actually typing this while feeding my second) and mine were both exactly the same at this age so I can empathise! As long as he is having plenty of wet nappies and putting on weight, which it sounds like he is, then it's unlikely to be low-supply.

It does get easier once they have a bit more interest in the world and have some breaks between feeding, but I know it feels never-ending at the time.

If you want to continue breastfeeding, you can totally do it if you made it this far. But if you can't carry on, or decide to stop, it really wont make any difference to your baby. You are the most important thing in his life and you need to do what's right for you.

Everyone’s advice has been so supportive and helpful.
if I was to start combi feeding how do I start?

Just replace a feed with formula. Bear in mind that your baby might not like it and if he does it will probably be an end to breastfeeding. Replacing a breastfeed with formula will immediately reduce your milk supply. If you are happy with that, that’s your choice of course. Whatever you do, your baby will be fine.

I spent the first 6-7weeks of this motherhood journey with my boob out. (It stayed out for 2y but I was in control after the first weeks…)Very very hard and lonely days and nights. It was painful, soul wrenching and the exhaustion was like nothing I’ve experienced before.
Hang in there.
I hated when they told me:”oh, it will get better”….so I truly hate to paraphrase them, but it will get easier. Fourth trimester is real. Little one still adapting, boob is more than nourishment at this point: is warmth, your scent, your heartbeat, might be thirsty….
Would he take a bottle of expressed or formula to give you a break??

One day everything clicked and changed. You’re doing great