4 month old seems to hate me

7 replies

ToothLemon · 06/08/2025 19:22

Looking for advice or reassurance really…

4 month old DS is teething and generally grouchy but PARTICULARLY grumpy with me his mum. He’s EBF and definitely eating far less and far fussier with feeds than say even last week.
the evenings are the worst times though he could just be overtired. Has anyone experienced this or am I just a horrid mum?

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Springadorable · 06/08/2025 19:50

He definitely doesn't hate you. He's sore, he's tired because his teeth hurt, and the comfort he wants most in the world (wonderful wonderful boob) is now a source of frustration because of the above. So he's pissed off.
Teething is brutal. Keep Calpol and nurofen topped up.

verycloakanddaggers · 06/08/2025 19:54

He doesn't hate you, he feels sad, tired, ill or scared. He just needs you to hold him and offer him food.

Singing really helps - it soothes him but also you. Same with standing and swaying.

It's emotionally draining but he definitely doesn't hate you. Speak to your GP if you're getting overwhelmed, it's a very tough time.

Oglefish95 · 06/08/2025 20:19

Potentially on a nursing strike at that age, they are alot more alert to the world and eating gets in the way of that! DC1 would scream at feeds at that age unless it was in a dark quiet room and they were sleepy. It's didnt last for long but unfortunately they can come back in peaks and troughs. If you google it there is alot to read up on about it ☺️

Oh and you are absolutely not a horrid mum! 4 months is a tricky age there not a little newborn potato anymore but cant do alot for themselves physically (sit up grab etc). I found both DC chilled out a bit when their body could interact with the world as much as their mind wanted to.

Original poster

ToothLemon · 06/08/2025 20:28

Thank you for your replies. Each day fills me with dread because I’ve given so much and want to give so much to him and even random strangers seem to get more of a smile out of him than me :(

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Oglefish95 · 06/08/2025 20:41

Also at this age they have usually got the hang of BF and are very efficient at feeding. It seems a step change from the long 40 min newborn feeding sessions but an efficient baby can be fully fed in minutes. So as long as nappy output is good and weight gain is fine I wouldn't worry about them 'eating less'.

It may seem like the strangers get more smiles but some babies just like a new different face to interact with. I promise they do not like them more than mum. Some babies are just a bit more grumbly, it's there personality and they have more to say for themselves - some babies really hate being babies!

verycloakanddaggers · 06/08/2025 20:46

ToothLemon · 06/08/2025 20:28

Thank you for your replies. Each day fills me with dread because I’ve given so much and want to give so much to him and even random strangers seem to get more of a smile out of him than me :(

You're giving everything he needs and it's very much felt by him. He might give an instinctive smile to a new face but you're nurturing him in a deep way that will last forever.

Do you have help and support? It's an exhausting time.

Original poster

ToothLemon · 06/08/2025 21:45

verycloakanddaggers · 06/08/2025 20:46

You're giving everything he needs and it's very much felt by him. He might give an instinctive smile to a new face but you're nurturing him in a deep way that will last forever.

Do you have help and support? It's an exhausting time.

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I do have support though I feel a bit silly trying to communicate this to people I know. It’s incredibly depressing to be spending all day with a grumpy baby only to find literally anyone can get a smile and longed for giggle out of him in seconds

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