To stop breast feeding at 3 months?

[K122]

Looking for some advice please

DS is 14 weeks. I’m currently mostly
Breast feeding and my husband gives a bottle of formula in the evening, just so I can get a bit more sleep.

overnight he’s just so unsettled. He has his bottle around 10, then wakes for a
feed at 1 and 5 ish. I know that’s pretty normal at this age but the issue is feeding takes forever - he falls asleep on the boob and just takes ages to feed then ages to re settle.

last Night my husband did a bottle at 5 and he settled really quickly.

i assume that bottle feeding overnight and breast feeding in the day isn’t an option because of supply?? Has anyone done this??

I really want to breastfeed for as long as possible but also feel that if I could have a better sleep I’ll be a better parent (also have a 3 year old)

any thoughts or similar experiences?

TIA

So it's not for everyone, but for me the absolute easiest option (and my baby woke much more often than yours does) was to bedshare and feed lying down so that the baby could fall asleep on the boob while I also dozed and roll away onto their back when they were done (even when they can't roll they'll roll onto their back after feeding as they can't roll forward due to your position).

i assume that bottle feeding overnight and breast feeding in the day isn’t an option because of supply?? Has anyone done this?
It worked for me with both babies.

You give up exactly when it feels right to you and not a day later. You've done brilliantly to get this far.

I found 3 months a really difficult age. I posted on MN a few times, not about BF, but finding things hard, and everyone told me to quit breastfeeding as if that is the answer to all baby related issues.

Do what you want but breastfeeding does get a lot easier around 5/6 months. And it's a great tool to put baby back to sleep, especially when teething. You've done the hard work, might as well carry on as it gets easier.

And the bottle may have worked once but there's no guarantee. And once you lose your supply, it's hard work to get it back. Not impossible but hard enough that you're unlikely to even try.

You can also sleep train around 5/6 months which will give you more sleep.

Eventually (most) EBF babies start sleeping through the night or at least long stretches, and people keep their supply. So I think it’s fine. At the same time, I wouldn’t assume that the formula will be a magic bullet just because it worked once.

Thank you! So did you still have a good day time supply?

Thanks so much for all the responses! Really appreciate it :)

I have to be honest, stopping overnight feeds absolutely killed my supply - obviously everybody's different, but I went from pumping 100-150ml to pumping 50ml within about 5 days of stopping cosleeping and overnight feeds.

Saying that, baby is doing great on mostly formula with 1 bottle of breastmilk (combined total of daytime pumping sessions), and I would absolutely make the same decision again. Sleeping properly has been great for both of us.

I just did morning and evening. It was fine.

At this point your supply may be established enough to stop the night feeds but I would say that at first you should drop just one and possibly express off a tiny bit if you feel very full when baby wakes - about 2 days into dropping night feeds when my DC2 was a bit older than yours, I got mastitis and it is hideous.

However back to your supply - around the 3mo stage babies become very aware of the world around them, very distracted during feeds, and often feed less in the day as they are so busy. This is part of the reason their sleep can regress - because they need to feed more at night when it's boring and quiet. So your supply may be impacted as your breasts may not get the daytime stimulation if he is behaving in this way.

I stopped bf at three months each time as I’d simply had enough. We all slept better, the psychological and physical space was great, a sense of control returned and I was able to go back to work pt at four months with no worries.
Over twenty years on, never a single regret. All healthy and bonded just fine.

i assume that bottle feeding overnight and breast feeding in the day isn’t an option because of supply?? Has anyone done this?
Thank you! So did you still have a good day time supply?

Yes I did, just having day time and evening feeds became my body's new normal.

How this came about was DS1 constantly wanting to be fed and it was horrendous in the middle of the night. He wouldn't settle or get full. Some nights it seemed to do go on for hours although I am pretty sure I am exaggerating. However it went on a lot longer than day time feeds. I was becoming more exhausted as time went on. DH was very supportive but finally snapped and said that I was becoming ill and not resting enough so he suggested that we had formula feeds at night and I could carry on bf during the day. Initially I was against it as the midwife had said that a baby wouldn't be able to do both. DH said that was a load of crap and babied would be able to work out the difference between a nipple and teat. He was right. DS1 took to it straight away, DH did the night feeds and baby settled very quickly and I carried on feeding during the day.

For us it was a positive experience.

If you are worried you could wake up once in the night and pump once? I pump once in the evening and DH gives out baby the bottle. Then I can go to sleep earlier and just switch off. In the night I have to hold her 30-60 minutes after for her to accept going down and even then she sometimes rejects it and cries.

You have done great. I’m in a similar boat, 14 week old. She is quick feeding but needs to be held for a long time after the feed. It’s a good job she is quick feeding because I have had countless painful feeds from weeks 0-9 and then again 12-13 after a blocked duct.

Oh if you decide to suddenly stop at night, try to express or pump a small amount and dwindle down. Don’t do a cliff stop, just incase. My baby slept an extra two hours one anfternoon annd then only did a mini feed due to the hot weather and I ended up with a blocked duct at 12 weeks. I somehow avoided mastitis but I don’t know how. The blocked duct was hard work and I ended up with painful feeds again due to her working hard for the milk. Peeled skin off my nipple (yes it was as painful as it sounds).

Just another thing that worked for me (and it doesn't have to work for you). I decided to lean in into the breastfeeding around 3 months. Until then I was flip flopping, getting DH to give the odd bottle, researching formula (he had/still has a dairy allergy).

At one point I said fuck it. I am his only source of food so you, DH, go sleep next door so one of us is rested, and you are in charge of dinners and XYZ. It worked. I actually had to do LESS overall. Yes, being tied to the baby is hard but I was more in control and felt I had less on my plate.

All of DS2’s night feeds were bottles from around 2 days old. I didn’t feel comfortable bed sharing and it absolutely saved my sanity and enabled me to breastfeed for as long as possible.

I had zero supply issues, it was brilliant and I happily breastfed him until 18 months, by which point we were both ready to wean.

It absolutely is possible and really doesn’t need to mean the end of your breastfeeding journey, as you can see from some of the responses, this is something that does work for lots of mums and babies.

At 3 months pp your supply will be nicely established and will adjust accordingly. I assume you will also be feeding numerous times through the day, first thing in morning, before evening bottle etc which will all keep your supply up.

Your baby is also happy to accept both bottle and breast which really is half the battle. I tried to combi feed DS1 and was ultimately unsuccessful because he much prefered the bottle so my supply naturally dwindled but with DS2, he would happily accept both so it was never an issue for my supply.

You have done so well so far and you can stop whenever you need to but you also absolutely can continue to breastfeed if that’s what you want, there is a middle ground available if you need.

My baby slept through the night from 6 weeks, meaning I didn’t breastfeed her at night after that but my supply was fine only feeding her through the day. I understand that obviously you baby is still feeding at night but your body adjusts to only produce the milk your baby needs - and if that is only during the day then it will only produce enough to feed during the day, no more, no less. It doesn’t mean you have to quit.

Sorry Op, just to add as you’ve jogged my memory but I did actually breastfeed in the night whilst DH was preparing the bottle so maybe 5 mins or so. Once or twice in the night, whatever was needed so perhaps that may have also helped it be a success in terms of supply.

Cosleeping from day 1 is what worked for me. 3 kids bf till 2+yo. 4th baby bottle fed as I was post mastectomy, it was a hell, bf is so much easier than bottles. My advice would be to wait it out and do cosleeping, things will get easier

This!

The midwife recommended cosleeping to me at our five day check. She showed me how to feed lying down and it was a game changer. DS is ten months old now and these days, if he wants to feed in the night he just latches on then rolls away, I barely stir.

Follow the Lullaby Trust Safe Sleep 7 and it will make things soooo much easier!

Thanks so much to everyone for replying to this. Really interesting to hear everyone’s stories! I think I’m going to give bottles a go overnight but also express initially just to see how things go. Thanks again xx

This and only this.