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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

PLEASE help weaning a toddler from nighttime feeds

11 replies

yaz2 · 24/05/2008 12:22

I have loved every day (well most of them) of feeding ds2. he is now 22 months old and feed to sleep at night and for his nap also he feed 2-3 times a night on average. The problem is he feeds to sleep and will not settle any other way. we co-sleep and I can't even think of moving him to his own bed until he is not feeding in the night any more.
I have to go away for a couple of week in the middle of july so he will be with dh. At the moment if dh so much as comes near him if he wakes up at night let alone comfort him he screams blue murder. I have had almost 2 years of continuois sleepless nights PLEASE PLEASE wise MNer's help me and enlighten me with some techniques I might use to wean him gently rahter than having to go cold turkey when I go away in 7 weeks.

I also want to add that I don't think he is actually feeding much rather comfort sucking as my breasts feel pretty empty lately and sore as he seem to be chewing on them sorry TMI

OP posts:
yaz2 · 24/05/2008 14:08

Bump
please help I am so clueless!!!

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kiskideesameanoldmother · 24/05/2008 14:16

i started to wean dd off by stopping one of the middle of th night feeds first. then the second one. Right after that she announced that she wanted to sleep in her own bed. I still feed her to sleep at night but earlier this week i went out for a meal with colleagues and she went to (her) bed with dh with no tears at all.

Caveat: this all happened at fully a year older than your ds. But you can give it a try.

mears · 24/05/2008 14:19

Would it not be better to introduce him to his own bed then stop the feeding? Perhaps that will be less traumatic?

Highlander · 24/05/2008 15:08

I've just done this with DS2 (did the same with DS1 at 16 months).

I tried night weaning DS2 at 12 and 15 months but he wasn't having any of it - would wail for hours

Right, the 1st night is awful, absolutely awful. You have to want to do this more than anything else in the world.

make sure your DS has had an active day and well-fed. Bath at normal time, then off to your bed for a couple of books. Keep it all calm - no leaping up and down the bed. Lamp for reading then lights off. He'll get tired...........and kick off big-style when you refuse the milk bar. Have water handy as his throat may get sore from screaming. If he's dog-tired, he shouldn't scream for much more than an hour. You're there, cuddling him, soothing him. There's an alternative to boob, he'll adjust! He'll thrash around a lot, cos he'll be as mad as hell.

During the night, he'll wake and you just cuddle him, offering water.

Next day, offer a feed when he wakes. Make sure he gets a mid-morning snack, offering boob if he asks - but DO NOT let him fall asleep. Take him up to your room and repeat the whole wailing business.

You should see a huge difference in his night-wakings by night 3. You may find that he still wakes as often, but settles v quickly with a cuddle from you.

If things have definitely settled down, get your DH to put him down at night and also for his daytime naps at the weekend. Your DH will have to go through the whole wailing business again, but it shouldn't be nearly as bad as it was with you.

After 2 weeks, or whenever you feel he adjusts to his new routine, transfer the whole routine to his own bed. If he wakes in the night, welcome him to your bed.

The final step is returning him to his bed if he wakes in the night.

The whole timescale is clearly flexible - you have to judge when your DS is settled and ready to move on.

It is tough listening to your child cry, but remember you're there for them. You're offering comfort, just not in the form they're used to !

yaz2 · 24/05/2008 15:41

Mears I would love for him to go into his own bed but I would be spend half the night running back and fourth between rooms as we have no space for another bed in out room. I just don't think I could cope with that kind of sleep deprivation an then function with 2 kids (21mths and 4) during the day.

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yaz2 · 24/05/2008 15:42

kiskid can you tell me how you went about stopping a middle of the night feed??

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yaz2 · 24/05/2008 15:47

Highlander thank you so much for taking the time to outline the whole process for me. It breaks my heat to hear him cry but as you said its more out of anger than anything else. He does not really feed in the morning only nap time (after lunch) if we are home he does not even ask if we are out he happily sleeps in the buggy or car. He is only really fussed when going to bed and during the night.
it also does not help that the hates beakers or any shape or form and it makes it really difficult to give him any other liquid during the night as he insists on using a glass and would probably pour it all over the bed.

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kiskideesameanoldmother · 24/05/2008 17:46

i would try to pat her down when she started to stir at her expected feeding times. if she seemed like it was not going to work, i just fed her back to sleep and tried again at the next waking.

rusmum · 24/05/2008 17:55

I am afraid the cold turkey method worked for me but DD did protest. Took 3 nights of no sleep and her wailing the house down to stop!!

yaz2 · 25/05/2008 09:39

thanks for all the replies I am shifting my ds2 into a cot bed next to our bed (have somehow managed to fit it into the room its amazing what can be achieved if your movivate enough) hopefully if he is not right next to me he will not smell the milk as much and keep waking. I will try the pat back to sleep method for a few nights the crying method will have to wait a couple of weeks a mil is coming over and she will be absolutely horrified if the first day she is the ds2 is wailing the house down.

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Highlander · 25/05/2008 15:32

we're on day 4 of night-weaning DS2 and he still wails a bit during the night. Not as easy as it was with DS1.

Still my friend did CC with her DD and was told it would take 3 nights. it wasn't until night 5 that she settled. Here's hoping!

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