BF struggles

[holi2024]

Wondering if anyone can offer any insight…baby is 8 days old and massively struggled to latch on in week one. Day 5 were told she has a posterior tongue tie. we started using nipple shields and hooray she’s starting to feed. We are still finding our feet and baby is still largely formula fed as her patience can wear thin with the breast. She goes from 0-100 in terms of hangry! This morning I had her on the boob for nearly 2 hours. She was getting restless so I reached for a formula bottle and she guzzled 70ml. I couldn’t believe it, could this mean she had barely anything from the breast in that long period? I felt like she was content and sucking along nicely during that time. I’ve been pumping about 60ml in 40 mins so thought she’d have had at least that on the breast, but maybe that’s not how it works? Although I had wanted to EBF, I’ve come to terms with the fact that is unlikely to happen and at the end of the day I want her to be happy and fed whichever way she can. Any insights gratefully received!

It doesn’t mean that she had taken nothing, some babies will guzzle a bottle, even after a big feed. It’s just the way done babies are and not a reflection on how they are feeding at all.

It does sound as though you need some RL support though. Are you going to any BFing Support Groups and are you going to get the TT divided?

Thank you, really appreciate your reply. As a FTM it’s just so hard to know what’s normal! Yes going to get the tongue tie sorted and attending BF workshops for that extra help. Thanks again x

It is hard to know what’s normal and what needs a bit of support. You’ve done really well to get the TT diagnosed so early.

Things should improve once it’s skipped. Have you got a date for that yet?

Keep posting on here with anything you can think of, same with calling the BFing Helplines and going to the groups

Thanks again @BunnyRuddington no date for tongue tie treatment but hoping things improve after that :) I thought sleep deprivation would be the hardest thing about newborn life but wow it’s definitely feeding!!

My first had TT and I can totally sympathise

Feeding for 2 hours is her building up your supply. It's impossible to know how much she'd have got from that feed but regardless it's great for your supply so keep doing that.
The amount you get expressing isn't really indicative of how much they're getting from the breast.
Nipple shields saved bf for me but they are a less efficient way for the baby to get milk. My baby's feeds took less than half the time once I stopped using them. They are great for allowing you to bf but I did find it meant feeds took a lot more time.
Definitely seek support. You're doing great!

@Okdaisy thanks for your reply and helpful words . I’m hoping to wean her off the shields once her tongue tie has been sorted so it’s super encouraging to hear that feeding took half the time for you once you got rid ! X

My DS can be at the breast for 2 hours at a time, partly for feeds, party for comfort and partly because apparently I'm a pacifier. He would still then guzzle a bottle. I know I have a great supply and his latch is perfect, he's 9 weeks now and 16lb so all good in that regard. But he would definitely do what your DD is doing. Once the tongue tie is sorted I would try and reduce the bottles and she will probably cluster feed on you for quite a while to help build your supply up for her needs. Hope she gets sorted quickly 🥰 make sure you have plenty of snacks and water mama x

Also don't be disheartened if it takes a while to get off the shields after her tongue tie is sorted. My baby randomly pulled the shield off at 10 weeks old and latched on without, for the first time since he was 4 days. So it can take a bit of time so don't worry if it doesn't happen straight away. Good luck x

Thank you @dontcomeatme and @Okdaisy its so reassuring hearing other people’s stories. I am just finding it all a bit draining at the moment but I’m sure it will get better in time.

I feel you, I am exhausted at the moment every day feels impossible. This being my second child I do know that it gets better, but that doesn't help at all. I keep telling myself "this is only temporary, it's just a season, it's only a phase" like a mantra to try and keep me going. We've got this 💪

You need some specialist face to face support, not just your MW/HV. Could your finances stretch to a private lactation consultant visit?

Please be aware that a TT division is not a magic bullet. Usually the feed immediately after is amazing but then often a regression- it takes at least 2 weeks for the complex set of muscles to learn how to work, and I always recommend getting more support during this time.

Are you pumping to keep up your supply? Has someone showed you how to paced bottle feed?