I am all confused...information overload!

[finallypregnant]

With regard to feeding, I wonder if you can help me with my daft questions!

I know I need to feed on demand. We're fortunate as we've been given both a moses basket and a crib. Moses basket will be downstairs and crib will be upstairs next to me in our room.

MB will be used for baby to sleep in during the day and then obviously crib at night. I know I shouldn't worry about routines early on but in the evenings do you just keep baby with you until you are ready to go to bed or do you get him/her washed, changed fed and then into your room for the night early on? For example, wash, change, feed and bedroom for 7 pm? I hope that makes sense!

My next question is many of you talk about the dream feed. Does this mean you don't change baby's nappy during the night?

It's these silly things that I worry about. Moreso than the actual birth!

It's up to you really - I keep both mine with me until I go to bed, although I don't think most people do.

In the night, I change the nappy if the (very young) baby has done a poo. If not, I leave it on.

Do whatever suits you best.

I kept them with me until I felt like it would be easier to put them to bed. This was when they would go to sleep about 7 pm and wake for a feed at about 10ish. When all the cluster feeding was going on it felt easier to just keep them with me.

I have 3 DC's and found that it is difficult to "start" a routine much before 3 mths.Although some babies ahave sorted their own routine out before this.I have always let baby sleep in MB in the lounge with me in between feeds and nappy changes,and cuddles,(or in a bouncy chair with head hugger)Initially as you are feeding so much and frequently,its easier IMO to have them close at hand.As they get older I try to establish a "bedtime" at 7pm ish(so I dont have to change it later)I would then return upstairs to collapseget into bed about 9-10.00 pm.
If the baby was stirring I'd feed them before I settle down,but if fast asleep (maybe because they'd gone down later or been unsettled) I'd hop into bed and catch an extra hour or so before they woke up.

I personally, washed them etc in the mornings,and didn't start that until they are older at night,as in bath before bed etc.

I don't change a Nappy at night unless its a dirty Nappy.Always have a night light or torch etc.so you dont disturb them too much overnight.If you have to change them,if they have a dirty Nappy or are sick,use a dimmed light and dont make eye contact,only play and interact with them during the day,doesnt stop you comforting them with cuddles etc.

Above all,do what you think is right for you and your LO.HTH

I have 3 DC's and found that it is difficult to "start" a routine much before 3 mths.Although some babies ahave sorted their own routine out before this.I have always let baby sleep in MB in the lounge with me in between feeds and nappy changes,and cuddles,(or in a bouncy chair with head hugger)Initially as you are feeding so much and frequently,its easier IMO to have them close at hand.As they get older I try to establish a "bedtime" at 7pm ish(so I dont have to change it later)I would then return upstairs to collapseget into bed about 9-10.00 pm.
If the baby was stirring I'd feed them before I settle down,but if fast asleep (maybe because they'd gone down later or been unsettled) I'd hop into bed and catch an extra hour or so before they woke up.

I personally, washed them etc in the mornings,and didn't start that until they are older at night,as in bath before bed etc.

I don't change a Nappy at night unless its a dirty Nappy.Always have a night light or torch etc.so you dont disturb them too much overnight.If you have to change them,if they have a dirty Nappy or are sick,use a dimmed light and dont make eye contact,only play and interact with them during the day,doesnt stop you comforting them with cuddles etc.

Above all,do what you think is right for you and your LO.HTH

Kept ds with us till about 8 weeks, when we started putting him down to sleep in bedroom so we could get some evening time to ourselves. Some nights it worked better than others, and if it didn't work, we'd just bring him back to the sofa with us. Started the bath/bed routine around that time too, and from 12 weeks or so he's been going down quite easily on his own every night. Didn't change nappies unless dirty. Dream feed = feeding without really waking up. ds couldn't do this till about 12 weeks - before then we'd have to properly wake him up so that he would latch to feed.

Priority in first few weeks is to spend enough time with your dc and recovering your energy to get feeding well established. Do whatever allows you to do this, and routines can come in when you're ready. I don't think really young babies can do routines tbh. And enjoy the time - they grow so fast

Some really good advice here already! My midwife advised me to think of 1st 12 weeks as the "4th trimester" which made so much sense. DD was not good at being apart from me in the first few weeks and never took to the moses basket, so I just kept her in a sling most of the time. In the evening she was with me until I went to bed as we were co-sleeping.

DS didn't get put down much (if at all) for about the first 3 weeks. At first we just kept him with us as he was never ready to go to sleep before us. (Those cluster feeds till 1am were a killer but thankfully not that frequent - 11pm was more likely).

He's always slept in his sling a lot, and any routine we've adopted has been in following him, with the exception of introducing a bath between 7 and 8 at about 12 weeks - I don't think it would have made any difference before then, but since we started that he's been going down progressively earlier and is now (at 4 months) getting to sleep around 9.30, just when I want to go to bed :-) (and bathing him earlier makes no difference - just means he has a play between feeds)

We only change nappies if we smell or hear poo - we use washable nappies with extra padding in to see him through the night and they've been fine for a good long stretch - around 8 till 7.

A dream feed is generally used by parents whose babies go to sleep earlier, so that they don't just get an hours sleep before being woken - so they'll feed the baby while pretty much asleep just before the parent goes to bed to give them a bit longer before the baby wants feeding again (hope that makes sense) We've never really done it as DS goes to bed at the same time as me.

Good luck with it all!

i keep dd with us (11weeks) it's easier. when she starts sleeping earlier i shall put her to bed earlier. she has a bath at 6 ish and bedtime clothes on then, so that bit of routine will stay.