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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Some help/encouragemtent for my friend please

39 replies

kayzisexpecting · 19/05/2008 20:55

I need some help and encouragement for my friend.

Today we went for a walk and sat on the benches by the river. She has a 2 week old DS(who is so gorgeous) who she is bf. It was the first time she left the house after having him as she had a CS.

While we were there a man came over and had a go at her. He said "Why don't you piss off home and do that" and "go via Boots and get some bottles"

I was so pissed off on her behalf that I had a go at him and told him that if he didn't like it then he could look in the other direction.

She has just rung me in tears saying she is going to buy some bottles tomorrow and could I go round and show her how to make formula. I've told her not to give in as she does still want to BF.

She doesn't have the net at home so I am going to print this out for her.

TIA

OP posts:
BouncingTurtle · 19/05/2008 21:01

NO!!!!!! Don't let that ignorant, nasty man determine how your friend feeds her baby!! He was probably a p*head or something!
She is doing a wonderful thing for herself and her baby!
Print this out for her reasons to be proud

BouncingTurtle · 19/05/2008 21:02

And I am in awe of her getting out of the house 2 weeks after a CS! Well done, your friend!

VictorianSqualor · 19/05/2008 21:02

Arsehole!
I have had a few comments about how vicky pollards some young lady's 'fella don't want to see your tits'
You mean you are so insecure about yourself you're paranoid about your partner possibly seeing a bit of nork?
Woah, Mary, chill out and get a grip!

It's a flipping joke.

FWIW, I am now feeding my third child (2nd to be bf) and have had nothing but lovely comments, try feeding at a children's playground, I've had so many people be wonderful about it

Original poster
kayzisexpecting · 19/05/2008 21:03

I will definetly print that out for her to read.

OP posts:
theangelshavethephonebox · 19/05/2008 21:04

kayz's friend: really, really please don't make any decisions based on some ignorant man you don't even know. Make decisions based on what you want to do. It would be a tragedy if you let this idiot determine how you feed your baby.

Nursejo · 19/05/2008 21:04

Tell her he is the one with a problem,she is doing something Natural and wonderful for her DS.If she'd been in Scotland that man would have been breaking the law to harrass a woman who is BF.Dont give up for the sake of one small minded person,most people are not like this,and are welcoming and kind to a BF'ding mother imo.Its a new and exciting time for her,she is probably quite emotional at the moment,and having your support is very important now.I'm sure this will cause many outraged Mothers to reply.What a disgusting Foulmouthed small minded person,Don't let his 'rubbish' affect you,he needs shooting!!!

Original poster
kayzisexpecting · 19/05/2008 21:05

Bouncingturtle, she was getting very bored. She is normally very active she does lots of walking, climbing, kayaking etc. So being in a house all day drives her nuts.

OP posts:
girliefriend · 19/05/2008 21:05

OMG I am so shocked how can people be so horrible! Your friend is doing something amazing and that man has obviously got a screw loose! I have breast fed in all sorts of places and no one has ever said anything to me and if they had I would have been furious! Please tell your mate to keep going, he is the minority!!! xXx

lilyloo · 19/05/2008 21:07

Poor girl . what an arse
Don't let it stop you i am bf my 3rd dc and it is a lovely thing to do if you can don't let one narrow minded twerp spoil it for you.

EffiePerine · 19/05/2008 21:08

That's awful . There are so many reasons TO breastfeed, and some ignorant tosser is not a good reason to stop.

As has been said, in Scotland hassling bfing mothers is illegal and quite right too

EffiePerine · 19/05/2008 21:09

also remmeber that the first weeks (prob 6 weeks) are the hardest and they feed ALL the time (DS did anyway). It gets much easier as they get older. Still feeding DS at 19mo and if anyone told me to buy bottles instead I would lamp them

Original poster
kayzisexpecting · 19/05/2008 21:10

I feel awful for her. She was so happy to get out of the house. TBH I was sat next to her and I couldn't see anything. I knew she was doing it but you couldn't see anything at all.

OP posts:
EffiePerine · 19/05/2008 21:13

BF support lines:

La Leche League 0845 120 2918
NCT: 0870 444 8708
ABM: 08444 122 949

they're usually open from about 9 in the morning and run by volunteers.

ChukkyPig · 19/05/2008 21:15

That is such a shame when she is doing so brilliantly. BF my DD is one of the most fulfilling things I have ever done and am still going at 10 months with no plans to stop anytime soon.

At 2 weeks your friend will still have mad hormones and new baby shock swirling around so please ask her not to do anything rash.

Especially not because of one horrible horrible man. You feel so vulnerable when have just had a baby I'm not surprised your friend is so upset.

Now, I think BF in public is fab, but I personally always felt a bit uncomfortable about it. Your friend obviously didn't have any worries but now has had a shock from the nasty man, maybe have a think about taking a jacket/shawl/big muslin or clothing arrangements which cover up well.

I am not in any way saying that people should cover up, just that if your friend understandably feels a bit nervous after what has happened then it might give her the confidence she needs to carry on. Just a thought.

I really hope your friend does continue as honestly there's nothing like it x

EffiePerine · 19/05/2008 21:18

also do you have a baby cafe near you?

Original poster
kayzisexpecting · 19/05/2008 21:21

No we don't. Nearest is Leeds and neither of us drive.

OP posts:
wurlywoo · 19/05/2008 21:29

Aww that's horrible, I second waht effieperine says, can you find some b/f cafes at least it will help her to speak to those who are b/f and be more comfortable.

Nice of you to be such a good friend to her!

VictorianSqualor · 19/05/2008 21:33

Tell her to offer him some next time, some of those relaxing hormones may help him smile

VictorianSqualor · 19/05/2008 21:35

Are there any breastfeeding groups near you? Maybe ask your hv/mw?

Original poster
kayzisexpecting · 19/05/2008 21:36

I don't know. They are pretty useless, well they were when I was trying to bf.

I think the HV is going to her house tomorrow so I'll text her and get her to ask.

OP posts:
EffiePerine · 19/05/2008 21:39

The support lines are good and usually staffed by local volunteers. They may also do home visits or walk-in clinics (I know someone who is a LLL counseller and does a clinic). Your HV might not know about all the support that there is, so it's worth your friend giving them a call.

girliefriend · 19/05/2008 21:40

breast feeding group I went to was fab and def kept me going when all around me told me to stop!!!

ib · 19/05/2008 21:42

He was clearly planted by evil formula manufacturers

Either that or he has ishoos...

In any case, not worth giving the time of day to. Think of it this way: if some moronic small minded bigot had a view on how you educate your child, would you think you had to go with his view? No? So why would he have a right to determine what your baby eats?

Greedygirl · 19/05/2008 21:46

What a w**r !! This has really made my blood boil. When I had just had my DS I felt really vulnerable and was v.sensitive to any comments about bfeeding so I can understand your friends reaction. It took a while for my natural stroppiness to reassert itself. Woe betide anyone who crosses me now (but damn it, everyone is so nice ). I hope you can convince your friend that this was a one-off incident and that she is doing a fab job.

duchesse · 19/05/2008 21:55

What a tosser. Was he drunk or just constitutionally objectionable? This is absolutely what you do not need when you are a very new mother.

What I would say to this poor lady is that there are bullies all over the place. They pick on vulnerable people. She was at an exceptionally vulnerable time, and he sensed it. This hideous excuse for a man sounds like a wifebeater horrible bigot. Is it right to let a tosser like this dictate how she should feed her new baby?