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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Am I wierd for not having a 'stop date'?

30 replies

BlueDragonfly · 19/05/2008 10:50

People keep asking me how long i am going to feed ds3 for...he is only 10 weeks old!! I am taking each day as it comes and sometimes a feed at a time! is this wierd?

OP posts:
Original poster
BlueDragonfly · 19/05/2008 10:50

by feed him i mean breastfeed. obviously i am going to feed him forevermore lol!

OP posts:
PortAndLemon · 19/05/2008 10:53

No, I think it's pretty normal to have a "see how it goes" attitude. Some women do find it helpful to have a particular goal in mind, though, even if they then keep extending it further.

Original poster
BlueDragonfly · 19/05/2008 10:54

thank goodness for that! was beginning to wonder if i was some kind of failure expecting freak!

OP posts:
MrsTittleMouse · 19/05/2008 10:57

I think that it's very sensible! I wanted to feed DD for a year, but then found that during the hard times that I found myself thinking "and I have a whole year of this!". I then developed your much more reasonable attitude and relaxed about it. I fed DD until she was 10 months and bitey.

solo · 19/05/2008 10:57

Why do people ask that!! it's infuriating! I had Dp asking that as he thought I should stop by 6 months. There was no way I was prepared to do less than 12 months, but I'm trying to wind it down now and want to be finished by 18 months...not long to go, but Dd has no intention of giving up yet

TrinityTheProgressingRhino · 19/05/2008 10:59

gecko is 15 months now and LOVES it
we are taking it a day at a time
I'm happy, she's happy

Aniyan · 19/05/2008 11:04

I took it one day at a time through 2 bouts of mastitis, a ds who would happily feed for HOURS while I sat gibbering quietly in the small hours of the night, and all the usual fun and games .

I never set a target but we kept it up for 5 months. If I'd had 5 months as my target at the start I think I'd have gone a bit mad.

Having said all that, I'd do it again!

One day at a time sounds fine to me - just try and relax and don't stress about what other people say - sounds like you're doing fine

Nicky79 · 19/05/2008 11:07

When I started breast feeding, I hated it, It hurt, I was tired and I set myself a week by week target. I kept saying one more week! I'm still feeding at 10 months, and he and I are both very happy!
Good luck, keep feeding for as long as your and your baby are happy.

Original poster
BlueDragonfly · 19/05/2008 11:08

yes i have had mastitis too. Failed to bf ds1, had to stop ds2 because of his health probs but amn really enjoying it this time around for the most part. DS3 is growing and 'chubbing up' nicely and its nice to look at him and think "I did that"

(you can't over feed a bf baby can you?)

I think people are asking me because when they ask how long he goes between feeds, i have no idea! 2 hours ish and then they tell me i should be formula feeding him every 4 hours if i want him to sleep thru....HE IS 10 WEEKS OLD!!!!

OP posts:
MrsBadger · 19/05/2008 11:12

It's weirder to have a stop date IMO

like deciding before they were even born that they must sleep in the moses basket till x weeks, they must move out of the cot at x months etc

wierdy

rozzyraspberry · 19/05/2008 11:24

Blue - I'm like you. My ds3 is 14 weeks old and I'm not sure how long I'll continue bf - just waiting to see how it goes. Also not sure when I'm going to go back to work which might influence my decision on the bf too. I don't think you can overfeed a bf baby.

I too look at him and can't believe that he's getting so big just by drinking my milk

PortAndLemon · 19/05/2008 11:33

Not that I had a stop date myself, but I think it's more like going out for a run and thinking "Right, I'll run down to the post office". Then when you get to the post office you may be feeling knackered, decide that that's your exercise for the day completed, and retire to the pub for a swift half, or you may think "I'm feeling pretty good about this, and it's a nice day; I'll carry on running until I get to the park". Then when you get to the park... [etc.]

Whereas those of us without stop dates in mind just pop out for a bit of a run with a vague feeling that we'll stop when we've done enough. In some cases we are rather surprised when we finaly do stop to discover that we've completed a marathon course .

Someone (may have been hunker) on another thread suggested that sure, if your greatest ambition for the whole of your child's life is for him to sleep through the night, then do whatever you need to achieve that. But if you have other or higher ambitions for him (including, say, long-term health and emotional security) then you need to look at the bigger picture. Or words to that effect.

calsworld · 19/05/2008 11:41

I started off with very short term goals, like for the first day, then the first week then the first month and celebrated every milestone - and just kept moving it out, although in my heart I always wanted to exlcusively BF till 6 months if I could because I have lots and lots of allergies but its different for everyone.

DS had his own plans and we introduced baby rice at 5.5 months and started mixed feeding (FF and BF) soon after...but he gave me up completely at 8.5 months and preferred the FF.

Don't know if that's common or not but am very of those of you who have older children still BF. Little eyes peeking round a boob - can't beat it!

TigerFeet · 19/05/2008 11:43

I like your analogy PAL

People run for different lengths of time, it's all good, as long as you do the running in the first place you are doing well. Unless of course for some reason you can't run. In which case walking or going in the car is fine.

I really like it

cmotdibbler · 19/05/2008 11:53

I didn't have a stop date in mind until we were past 18 months and thought we'd stop around 2. As it happened I went away for a week, and he wasn't interested when I came back, so I am now officially a non breastfeeder as of DS being 23.5 months.

LookingForwardToSummer · 19/05/2008 12:07

i found bf so hard to start with that if hadn't had a target it would if seemed like an endless and i'd have given up. now it is easier and my target is getting closer it is no longer fixed!

LuXander · 19/05/2008 21:44

My MIL started asking me when I was going to stop just before DD was 6 months old. She still asks every time we see her and DD is now nearly 14 months. I plan to keep going until DD and I are ready to stop... the more she asks the more determined I am to leave it to DD to decide.

ib · 19/05/2008 21:48

When people asked me I always said 'for as long as he and I are both happy to do so'.

Still feel that way after 17 months, no idea how long we'll both keep going for.

DontlookatmeImshy · 19/05/2008 21:50

Not wierd at all. Besides you stop date may change anyway. Mind was 6 months, then at 6 months it became 12 months, then a 12 months it became 24 months but ds decided for himself at around 22 months.

Tommy · 19/05/2008 21:52

agree with MrsBadger - it is weirder to have a stop date IMO, unless you really hate it and are only doing it because you know it's the best thing.

With DS2 I thought 6 months, then a year and with DS3 we are at 15months and still going. I am going away for a weekend in July so I will probably stop by then as DH is getting a bit twitchy about looking after him for 2 nights

TinkerbellesMum · 19/05/2008 22:45

I set milestones, but no stop date. I don't want to contemplate there being a day when it doesn't happen anymore, I love it too much.

I sort of want to go on as long as she wants me to, but I do think there may come a point where I would want to wind it down. Can I see myself nursing a 5 year old? No, but I didn't see myself nursing a 2 year old. If I have another child then it may mean I have to stop as I would be in hospital for a long time - although with daily visits she would take her feed when she could get it I imagine.

TinkerbellesMum · 19/05/2008 22:47

Tommy, I should imagine by then that it won't be a problem. I can leave Tink over night and she won't miss her feed, although she will ask for one when she sees me again.

StarlightMcKenzie · 19/05/2008 22:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Tommy · 19/05/2008 23:01

really TinkerbellesMum? I was going to start a thread about that - I would quite like to carry on if possible. Although, TBH, I worry more about DH's coping than DS3 missing out on the mummy milk

Piffle · 19/05/2008 23:06

14mths here and no fixed date aside from my going to oz in October minus kids...
Down to 2-3 feeds a day mostly pm... I'm really happy with it and treasure it. He's a very physical active toddler and to have him there, relaxed, serene and QUIET and sleepy... Tis blissful

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