Pumping, formula, indecision, argh!

[Paaseitjes]

So, this is relatively minor, but still I'm getting FTM stress! TL;DR: pumping is giving me really sore breasts. Will it get better, is it worth it, are one or 2 bottles of formula per week a better option?

Baby is breast fed, gaining weight and doing well. He needed formula and expressed top ups in the first week which gave him the most horrible cramps so I'm reluctant to do that again. Where I am, maternity leave is pretty basic (not US, not that bad!) and most babies go to nursery at 3 months, so it's just assumed that all babies will take a bottle. I'm not going back until 6 months, and then baby will only be in nursery for 1 then 2 days per week. Nursery is close to my work so I'm hoping they'll be ok with me popping in to feed him once a day, but there's a chance they won't let me. Selfishly, I'd also really like to go back to my sports club asap, which takes about 3h once per week, but then I need to leave DH food. Pumping at first with the hospital pump was easy. I've got a Freestyle now which doesn't get much milk out and leaves me with sore boobs (actual boob not nipple) for a few days, so all this feels impossible. If I don't pump, I'll have to give him formula so that he remembers how to take a bottle.

Once he's a bit bigger, is formula going to cause him a much discomfort or will he be able to tolerate it? By 6/7 months, is he likely to go a whole day at nursery with 0 or 1 feed? Do I need to grit my teeth and work through the pain of pumping not much milk, or do I need to shell out for a lactation consultant and new pump?

Honestly once feeding was established my children didn't drop any feeds until 8 months when they got going on solids. They weren't on three proper meals until 10 months so they wouldn't have been okay with no feed or one feed..you could leave the pumping for now, try formula again in a few months (for when they're in nursery) or just try pumping again in a few months? You will know best

Oh dear, that's not very encouraging but thanks! I'm really paranoid about him forgetting how to take a bottle so that I have no options.

None of mine ever took a bottle, I didn’t bother to try too hard after the first. By 3-4 months I could give the baby a breastfeed and then leave them for upto 4hrs with DH, they would just have a big feed when I got back. So your hobbies and a bit of freedom are totally possible while breastfeeding. I never got on with expressing too.

By 6-7 months your baby will be starting solids so formula won’t bother his tummy in the same way.

I would try (this is the kind of irritating thing parents of older children say) not to worry too much about the next year, things change so fast. Do what works for now (breastfeeding sounds like it’s going great)

Thanks! I'm doing pretty well at staying chilled, but occasionally something gets me. Both our mothers stayed at home until we started school, so I've suddenly realise I don't actually know the practicalities of nursery. I merrily signed him up to begin at 6 months when my leave runs out, thinking that you just have to leave them there, like a car park

I think you're right about the formula + weaning. We won't be able to tell which gives him cramps! DH will have him one day a week and can walk him round to my office every 3 hours, then he's in day care 1 then 2 days per week so it's not that much formula.

Have you checked whether you are using the right size flanges on your pump? You can get a specific measuring tool for them (I know it sounds weird!) because if you use the wrong size this can make expressing really uncomfortable and less efficient. I pumped for a few weeks when my baby was a newborn due to low milk supply and had no idea I was using the wrong sized flanges until I picked up pumping again when returning to work and realised I could measure myself and needed a size smaller, and it was much more comfortable. If you change sizes to the correct size and are still having pain you could try finding a lactation consultant in your area who may be able to advise how you might make it more comfortable.

I wouldn't count on baby being able to go all day with a single feed or no feed until at least 10/11 months old. I was expressing twice a day from 8 - 11 months while at work and then down to once per day for a couple of months.

@MarinaRuby thanks! The nurse measured me before I hired the hospital pump. That didn't hurt, but I think you're right and the flanges are too big. Unfortunately I already have the smallest Medela size available, so not sure where to go next

Ah you're already using the 21mm size? A quick search online suggests you can get flange inserts if you need a smaller size than 21mm - some Reddit posts about it and it looks like some inserts are sold on Amazon though no personal experience of using them but definitely worth a try I'd think.

I also live somewhere where mat leave is terrible, I managed to eek it out to 7 months by adding all the leave I could.

I had to see a lactation consultant to help me with pumping:

• 20 mm flanges were too big for me, I needed 16mm! It was a game changer, got so much more milk and less sore. I have totally normal looking nipples, she said companies just want to make more money out of you so you keep buying accessories. So try sizing down.

• use a tiny dash of nipple cream or coconut oil on the nipples while pumping, it helped immensely

• get a good pumping bra but only wear it while pumping. They are too tight to be worn all day, I made this mistake and it contributed to me getting mastitis (along with using wrong flange size)

• I wanted to go on formula but he hated the taste of it and on balance I decided to continue EBF as it makes my life easier on the weekends, evenings and when I WFH

• she also said to not expect them to drop milk feeds significantly until 10 months and to not even try to push too much because their main nutrition is from milk. She explained they do so much growing between 6-12 months that many babies, even if they are eating 3 full meals, still want almost all the milk too.

My baby took exceptionally well to solids. By 7 months we were on 2 meals a day. Not just vegetable purees, but chicken, steak, curries etc. He is 8.5 months and has not dropped any milk 😂his nanny is shocked how much he's eating (he's not Michelin man looking either, he is bang on 50th centile for height and weight)

Pumping the first month was HARD. Horrible. The worst. But things sort of clicked into place now and it's totally fine.

Also, breastfeeding at this age (8, almost 9 months) is SO DAMN CUTE. The smiles and cuddles I get are the best. Once they get mobile, they don't really cuddle as much and I'm finding that breastfeeding him gives me that hit of love I didn't think I'd need.

So it's not all some martyrdom of sterilising and hard work.

Thanks for all your tips! I've got 16mm inserts and it's going much better. I only get 50ml in 15mins, but that's plenty to remind him how to use a bottle

Ah, fantastic! Glad to hear it.